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 Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:42 pm
uh, hey.
this will most likely be a rant of sorts, but i really need to get this off of my chest.
recently, maybe a few days ago, my best friend someone i know basically called it quits with me. and even more recently we got in an argument about it.
why?
i've known her since we were in third grade. i've known her for seven years, and it was supposed to be eight. when she wanted to commit suicide, i was there for her. when she realized that she was bisexual, i was there for her. when she confessed that she had a crush on me, i still stuck by her. but i complain about her getting grounded for the hundredth time in the same month, and it drives me insane! she wasn't always like this. now she doesn't seem to put much effort into anything. all she ever does is complain about her life, though it isn't that bad. granted my life isn't as bad as hers, but she doesn't realize other people have it worse. all she ever did was think about the negative side of things. i'm not that kind of person, and couldn't really deal with it. so i asked her if i should give her any more chances (because we discussed a restart in our friendship to heal, but she got grounded a few days after that again.).
now i don't know what to do, and how to feel.
should i forgive her and deal with this all over again?
also, i'm afraid that i might drive her to suicide, which is why i'm so troubled as well.
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 6:07 pm
I'm sorry that you and your friend have to go through something like this. I'll admit that I have never been in a major fight with any of my friends, so I may not know what this feels like for you. But I'll do my best to hopefully be a good guildie/friend.
It is often forgiveness that gives people hope to redeem themselves. Have you tried pointing out the positive side of things for her? I used to be an extremely negative person as well, but then I began to see when my father was pointing out all the pros of the situation.
Also, other than you, what kind of people does your friend surround herself with. There is no need to answer, but just think about it. Usually being around negative people, their negativity will reflect unto you (or in this case your friend) and you begin to feel the same. However, if your friend surrounds herself with positive people, their influence may have an effect opposite to those who are constantly in a bad mood or having a negative influence.
I hope things get better for the two of you. emotion_hug
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:10 am
First of all, I am sorry that you had to go through so much sadness. Its never pleasant when friendships fall apart, especially if its in such a painful way.
Do your friend's parents know how bad things are for their daughter? I mean, it is their responsibility to take care of their child. As a friend, you should be as supportive as you can, but dont ever think that you need to help her fix her life. Especially not if you drag yourself down in the process. Its not a true friendship anymore, but rather a help group if all you do is trying to stop her from suicide.
I dont think you should completely give up on the friendship however, as it seems to me that it really means something to you. What I suggest however is not to get too deeply involved. Your friend might need help to get over her depressions, but its not your job to be the healer or psychologist in this case. Just show her that you are there for her when she needs a shoulder to lean on, but make it clear how upsetting it is for you to see her fall apart and be honest about how it makes you feel and how much you think you can actually handle.
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