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Hey, tribe-mates. I need a few extra sets of eyes on my personal statement to make sure there's no embarrassing misspellings or confusing sentences. It's only about 500 words (which is the maximum limit). This needs to be clear, organized, personal, not overly formal but grammatically correct, and most importantly this needs to get me into Colorado State University. So, if you had never met me before in any way, would this personal statement encourage you to put me in an Animal Sciences/Pre-Vet program?

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I Would Rather Be…

I was always one of those little girls who would rather muck stalls than clean her room. I was also the kid that read the encyclopedias after every animal book in the school library had been memorized. My mother didn’t tell me to turn off the mind-numbing cartoons, but Discovery Channel’s Shark Week. My love for animals has motivated me through my whole life, and from my earliest years I hoped to spend my adult life working with animals.

Growing up, the family farm was my personal paradise. My parents got me not one but four horses. At first, I was starry-eyed with the dream of ownership, but as the usual health problems cropped up, I found myself challenged and still enjoying it. Cricket, a Welsh/Chinqueteague pony, developed acute laminitis from over-indulging in the sweet spring grass. The veterinarian gave me some phenylbutazone and grimly informed me that if and when the pony’s condition worsened, I would have to put her down.
I had to do something.

I found a lot of raw material in my research and waded through the medical reports to piece together a treatment plan. I combined specialized farrier work, customized nutrition, and regular exercise. In six months, Cricket went from limping to walking normally. Three months more brought her up to a trot. When I called the vet out for the next annual checkup, she could run again. He could hardly believe she was the same pony, her recovery was so remarkable. A few years after my victory, I started seeing “founder recovery” supplements in catalogs. Sure enough, those formulas were very similar to what I had put together for my pony.

The success of the treatment plan made me wonder: If I could make that much of a difference with a “hopeless cause,” what could I do with formal training and cutting edge equipment as?

I could do almost anything!

Two goals dwell side-by-side in my heart. The first, I want to start an equine soundness research and treatment clinic. My ranch will be a place where lame horses and concerned owners can find relief and help with cutting-edge interdisciplinary treatment programs for conditions that normally leave little hope for recovery. The second is to specialize in marine animals and uncover the internal secrets of large sharks and rays. Both goals take me to the cutting edge of veterinary science.

I know I have the ability and the drive; all I need is the opportunity. Colorado State University’s animal sciences and veterinary programs are the opportunity I need to start, and will give me the skills and knowledge I need. I will forever be someone who prefers hosing down a horse trailer to washing the dishes. I would rather have my nose in animal science text books than the latest fashion magazine. I would rather be pursuing my passion for animals than almost anything else in the world, and I would rather be doing it at Colorado State University.

Loving the insight so far. ^_^

Just some friendly teasing to show you that I'm paying attention. mrgreen