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His Majesty Satan Captain
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:47 pm
Dear Diary,
I do believe it has been over a year since my entrapment within the Lane household. Why those damn Animal Control bastards locked me up within this wooden gulag I will never know, but I do know that I must escape. Fast.
No matter the efforts I have made, I am constantly pursued by an unintelligent canine creature from the behind. It plunges its nozzle into my rectal regions, and it is becoming more and more of a scare for me. The Humans stand by and laugh at the dog's psycho-sexual advances toward me. I plea for their mercy, but the best they can offer is a pet on the head.
Yesterday, I felt the pain of coincidence. The canine monster laid its excrement within the prison, and I happened to be right by it, stretching, when the Warden appeared before my eyes, a newspaper in hand, an angry expression upon his face. Realizing my doom, I sped from the angered male Human, but to no avail. Tonight I sleep outside in the rain as I plot my escape...
TO BE CONTINUED
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 9:34 am
omg that was effin funny love it biggrin
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Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:55 pm
rofl I feel sorry for that cat, but this is freaking hilarious!
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Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:53 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 7:41 pm
Dude... you are cracking me up, I love this. You should continue it.
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 10:50 am
I guess it really wasn't wise to read this during class. I almost choked trying to hold back my laughter.
PLEASE, PLEASE continue this as soon as possible. I'm loving it!
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Angstbucket Edgelord Vice Captain
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