Welcome to Gaia! ::

Basics ::
xxxxxName: Mikhail Tvardovsky
xxxxxNickname(s): He doesn't have one yet, but if you have an idea let me know ^_^
xxxxxFaction: Hearts
xxxxxAge: Currently an egg, when an adult 22
xxxxxHeight: 5'11"
xxxxxBody Type: Lithe, lean with muscle tone.

Poké-basics ::
xxxxxPokemon: Budew
xxxxxPokemon type: Grass/Poison
xxxxxNatural Ability: Cure
xxxxxPerma: Nope
xxxxxMoveset: Magical Leaf, Petal Dance, Aromatherapy. and Toxic

Personality ::
xxxxxPositive Traits
Trait 1 Intelligent - Mikhail has an above average ability to understand subjects and learn. The ability to learn quickly has no effect on his ability to retain the knowledge. When he learns something it stays in his mind. Mikhail has great memorization abilities. He could remember details of a room or a person after only seeing them for a moment. Mikhail was able to pass through secondary school subjects earlier than most and moved to university shortly afterwards, where he was able to get a professional degree in half the amount of time. Mikhail believes that all situations have something can be learned from it. Mikhail isn’t one to throw his intelligence around. The man keeps it hidden so that others underestimate him
Trait 2 Well-Mannered - Though condescending to most, Mikhail is a gentlemen. It has been ingrained into his head to help those that are less fortunate and don't possess the resources that he does. He, also, is one to hold himself well. Though he is cool and indifferent he does have an aura of reliability and regality. Mikhail has never lost this due to his desire to maintain higher standards and a better man above others.
xxxxxNeutral Traits
Trait Logical/Level headed - Mikhail views things from the outside as using emotions in making any decision would be unwise. It would leave him open and that is one thing he truly can't abide. This is great for thigns that are easily solved by logical answers. But with things like ethics and morals...this trait isn't one that works well.
xxxxxNegative Traits
Trait 1 Distrustful - Mikhail is distrustful of people. He learned young that people will hurt you if they get the chance and use your weak points to their advantage. He is extremely guarded because of this and tends to be a loner. Mikhail doesn't like to let people in and see that he has emotions that can be abused. Not only that he finds that the roses are kinder than the others. Because of this, he comes off as emotionally cool and indifferent. Mikhail tends to be the mysterious guy in the corner no one knows anything about because he wants it that way. If no one knows anything, no one can have the upper hand. To break through his distrust of someone it takes time, persistence, and they have to prove on multiple occasions that they are trustworthy. This could mean that they prove themselves through actions or discussions. They are not like Mikhail dropping money and if they pick up it up and give it to him type occasions. They are more like being able to keep secrets, how they deal with knowledge, how they act around his family, and coming through with promises.
Trait 2 Lack of Remorse – Mikhail is indifferent to the consequences of his actions. He rationalizes his deceptions and actions. Lack of remorse does not mean he doesn’t know what is right or wrong. Mikhail does, but he doesn’t care which is which. Mikhail isn’t a psychopath, need not worry. He’s not going around killing or raping. While rationalizing his actions he minimizes responsibility or uses others as fodder for blame. Sometimes he’ll have the victim of his actions as the one to blame, following the old adage “There is a sucker born every minute”. He’s calm about what he does and says as well. It’s not worth getting all worked up about. It wasn’t his fault anyway.
xxxxxLikes: Fencing, his roses, reading, being outside
xxxxxDislikes: Boorish people, stupidity, overly bubbly people, being interrupted
xxxxxFavourite Food: Light foods and sweet things
xxxxxHobbies:
Gardening - Mikhail feels at home in the gardens of roses. There was always something about plants and the beauty the possess. Mikhail was found in the gardens when he was younger and at first the man thought that was why he was so dedicated to them, but after awhile he just felt alive when he was out tending the gardens. Some of those he knows joke that he would actually protect the garden more than he would another key player. His fascination with plants and gardening has brought him all across the country, most of the time in secrecy as he was hearts faction and many hated the queen. He is often found roaming the gardens, laying amongst the flowers playing his violin.

Fencing - The man loves to fence. He finds it elegant and swift. You find a power from fencing. A grace that follows through the discipline and through one’s own life. To him the foil is extension of your arm ending in hard tipped steel. He’s more into rapiers and foils. It’s more complex to compete in foil. The man started fencing at six years old. He has won many tournaments with his skills. If you ask him he says there is a grace to the violence and that tournaments should show it. Though he does love the idea of winning and will bend to the rules to win, when he feels like it

Violin - Mikhail learned the violin when his caretaker started to see a darker side to the man. He told Mikhail that music is the window to the soul and that it calms monsters. His caretaker would tell Mikhail that when the monster rose in him to play to calm it down. Mikhail resisted at first but his lesson instructor enticed him back to playing with beautiful pieces. Mikhail now plays the violin with all he has. It brings out emotions in him that are rarely there and keeps his mind level headed. Mikhail has been in competitions and orchestras but he prefers playing solo. A common place for him to be found when not fencing is sitting in one of his balcony windows playing Vivaldi, Bach, or Corelli. Some of his favorite pieces are: Four Seasons by Vivaldi, Corelli’s Concerto Grosso, Bach’s Chaconne for solo violin, and Bach’s Violin Sonata No. 1 in G Minor.

xxxxxInterests:
Alchemy - Mikhail is interested in the alchemical properties of plants (herbs, flowers, fungi, etc). He uses his concoctions for various purposes: treating wounds, improving his vitality, or even poisoning his enemies.

Reading - Mikhail reads a good amount of genres from political dramas to smutty romance. They all peek his interest and he enjoys reading when he is free. His favorite spot to read is among the roses he adores so much.

Acrobatics - Mikhail is one to jump around, climb, twist and do tumbling acrobatic acts that some have never seen. He isn't the best at it but he does attempt to become better at it. He believes that knowing acrobatic techniques will help improve his fencing skills and skills as an efficient fighter.

xxxxxFaction Opinion: He is rather fond of the roses and takes good care of them. He has some of his very own that he treasures, deep blue roses. As for the queen and her temperament he wonders about her. The guards are fun though. He frequently wanders around with them and practices drills. Though he isn't a fan of having to be contained to one area. Mikhail does travel into the other lands to see what they are like and if the plant life is any different.
xxxxxAspirations: Mikhail's aspirations change as time goes on. At first he wanted to be one of the greatest fighters and generals of the heart court. Now he desires to travel the nations looking at all the flora and protecting his most treasured things.

Fears -
Neglect and Abuse: Despite the fact that Mikhail seems a strong and confident man, he is that dark center that causes him to be the way he is. Mikhail has a fear of being neglected or used by others. Where this fear steams from it is not entirely clear. It could be the need for confirmation or the lack/loss of control. No matter what it is though, Mikhail's heart drops and it is harder to breathe when there is the possibility of someone using and abusing him or if no one cared about him.

Employment::
xxxxxTitle: Count of Roses, Rose General
xxxxxJob: Mikhail is a fighter and tactical adviser. Mikhail is also one of the care takers of the gardens. (Need to work on this, any suggestions)


Appearance::
xxxxxHair: His hair is a messy thick mane of silver white platinum. Resting between his bum and the middle of his thighs, the sleek looking tangle of hair, tends to get in his face often. Because he constantly looks down to tend to the garden or is fencing, Mikhail grew out his bangs. They frame his face when down, but are usually pulled behind his ears. When he was younger he had light red brown hair that paled with age.
xxxxxEyes: Round, Striking Emerald Eyes.
xxxxxSkin tone: His skin is the color of nice cool caramel and cocoa
xxxxxPalette: Reds, Greens, and Blues...though he does love purples as well.
xxxxxClothing: Mikhail is either very feminine in dress or wears Victorian-esque suits. He prefers to wear clothing and outfits that stand out or make him look good. *winks*
xxxxxAdditional: Hmm....nothing I can think of at the moment.

Interests updated - still working on his position in the faction. Not sure which of two I would like for him.

OTL HI it's Facey I will get right on this crit tomorrow; sorry about the wait ; x;

Okay, heyo! I'm gonna talk about things in order, from top to bottom, so you can run on down it with me !

I honestly like Mikhail's concept, and I see him turning out quite well! Here's what I want you to think about, though: as we're running through this quest, the central idea I want to convey is adding depth to Mikhail. Keep that in mind, and let's get started!

Body type – The point of this section isn't really to further describe what Mikhail looks like, but rather to give a general idea of his build, his actual body shape. The only information we need to see is the fact that he's lithe, lean, and has a bit of muscle tone. Why not cut this whole section down to just that, something along the lines of “Lithe & lean, with muscle tone”?

Charismatic & Distrustful: Now, I'm breaking my own rule where I run down the page, but I feel these two should be paired together while I talk about them.

In charismatic, you say “the way he looks at you has such caring and expression that he charms the uncharmable.” On the other hand, in distrustful, you say “he comes off as emotionally cool and indifferent “ as a result of his guarded and solitary nature. These are two entirely different appearances that you say he has apparently simultaneously, and they're nearly opposites of each other to boot. It doesn't make much sense to me. I've never known a person who's distrustful and trying to protect himself to come off as very charismatic! It seems a little strange that someone who was trying to protect himself from abuse would be an outgoing character full of wit and charisma, do you see what I'm saying? He can be likable, but he doesn't need to be explicitly defined as likable to achieve likability.

Here's what I think: I think that charismatic is one trait that sticks out from the others and breaks cohesion. I see a fear of abuse buried in here, and a fragility, much like a rose. Mikhail uses distance and distrust of others as a defense mechanism to counteract that. I think this is a very strong flaw that gives Mikhail a lot of depth, and you may want to consider using it! It could definitely help give Mikhail his own issues and motivations, and would probably make him easier to play. However, with that said, I really don't think you need charismatic as a trait, given that it conflicts so much with this fear of abuse that you've already half-written in. You should try to think of an alternative positive trait! One suggestion might be perserverant, to synergise with his defense mechanisms, showing that while he's a bit fragile, he sticks to his guns and keeps going. That's just one idea!

Now, I'm writing this crit with the assumption that you like the idea of this fear of abuse becoming more prominent and will use it, and I'm going to try and structure my suggestions to best support that idea. If you don't like it and want to try something else, I want you to send me a private message so I can get you my contact information and we can do some 1-on-1 work on finding alternatives that better fit your idea of where Mikhail's going.

Well-mannered: Now, this is understandable enough of a trait, but I want to point one thing out: There are no women in Sleepless. Other than the Red Queen, the population is entirely male. With that said, I can understand the trait and his desire to help other, as well as the condescension that stems from his belief that he's the 'better man' who should be helping others, but I wonder if you have an exact motivation for this in mind? I can understand that it's been instilled into him to desire to help others, but do you have a particular reason WHY it stays with him? That's something to think on, and it would help this trait make a bit more sense.

Open-minded: This is a positive trait, and you've written it as such. The neutral trait is intended to showcase something of a quirk, a trait that could be taken either positively or negatively depending on who Mikhail is interacting with. This only showcases the positives of his open-mindedness, and I'm hesitant to say this could be construed in any negative light. It also seems a little odd that he'd be so open to ideas if he's distrustful of others. I think this may be another trait you may want to consider changing to gain a little more coherence. You might want to try objective or impartial, on account of his tendency to distance himself from others, seeing as some people would like him not taking sides, while others wouldn't like his disinterest!

Again, if you don't like this idea, we can try and work with open-minded, but I think you'll have an easier time trying an alternative.

Distrustful: Now I can separate this from charismatic. In my opinion, the strongest trait on here. Gives Mikhail a lot of depth, as well as a fear, and it showcases his interactions with others. I don't have anything to suggest here, keep it the way it is. It's a bit of a support that I build the rest of this crit around, to be honest.

Lack of remorse: Another good flaw for Mikhail. This really shows how he protects himself from responsibility. This might be another thing to keep in mind as you start playing Mikhail, how his lack of remorse might affect his interactions with others. Once again, not much to suggest.

Additionally, I've kind of suggested maybe making a fear of abuse a central facet of Mikhail's personality, and if you'll look at the quest form, you'll notice that since you've made your quest, we've added in a FEARS section to talk about just such things! Might be a good opportunity to showcase that!

To sum up: Mikhail definitely has a strong concept, and you've already built in all the ideas you'll need to really polish him up. He definitely NEEDS the polish, but I think you've got everything you need. Once again, if you have any questions, contact me, otherwise good luck, and I'll talk to you next time around!