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Problems With My Best Friend

Wildflower Euphoria

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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:19 pm

Ugh. So was talking to my best friend on facebook. We're super close so we tell each other everything. But suddenly has asked me if wanted "to have a ******** date via skype".
Needless to say I turned him down but I have this awful guilty feeling. He said he wasn't mad, and I believe him, but still!
Did I mention he has a girlfriend? I just feel terrible about this!
I love him so much and I don't want to lose him, but it makes me feel awful when I turn him down, but I certainly don't want to do that him with him.
I'm just looking for some advice on what to do and tell him, or maybe just some comforting words.

I wasn't sure where to put this topic. I was looking for a Peer Pressure subforum but failed in my attemps. If there isn't one, I suggest one be created.

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:37 am

You are definitely not obligated to do that with him no matter how much you care about him or how good of friends you are. You have no reason to feel guilty for turning him down. If he ever gets mad at you or stops talking to you for turning him down, then he isn't actually a true friend anyway. True friends don't pressure each other like that. Unless he has his girlfriend's ok, he shouldn't even be asking you that in the first place.

LorienLlewellyn

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Wildflower Euphoria

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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:10 pm

He didn't pressure me at all. he just sort of suggested it.

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:32 pm

LorienLlewellyn

You are definitely not obligated to do that with him no matter how much you care about him or how good of friends you are. You have no reason to feel guilty for turning him down. If he ever gets mad at you or stops talking to you for turning him down, then he isn't actually a true friend anyway. True friends don't pressure each other like that. Unless he has his girlfriend's ok, he shouldn't even be asking you that in the first place.

Wildflower Euphoria

He didn't pressure me at all. he just sort of suggested it.

As Lorien said, even if he "just suggested it", unless his girlfriend is ok with it, he shouldn't even be bringing it up.

I went down this road with a friend of mine a few years ago, and it turns out he was having issues with his girlfriend at the time (which I didn't know about). Maybe your friend is having issues with his girlfriend, in which case if he admits to it, you could encourage them to talk things out.

Nikolita
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Wildflower Euphoria

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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:47 pm

No, they aren't having problems. He was telling me how they were making out the very next day.
I worked things out with him and gave him a second chance.

Edit::
Although ths thread probably won't be looked at again, I did talk to him about problems witth his girlfriend. He says that they are at different places in the relationship. She thinks he is taking it too fast, and that frustrates him. I also learned that she is moving away this summer, so I'm thinking he isn't really putting too much value in the relationship because it's going to end in the summer anyway.
He still asks for these favours of me, though. But for some reason, it doesn't bother me as much as it did the first time. I don't know how I feel about it not bothering me as much. Maybe it's because now I know he's just frustrated?

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