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Albeo umbra means white shadows in latin. People usually stereotype shadows as something bad, or dark. Shadows can be something much more, so much deeper if you just took a chance to listen to what they whisper. That is what poetry is something much deeper.

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Here they are kissing in the rain
Something he thought would never happen again
This has only happened one other time
Threw the black clouds they were the only thing to shine

In Kindergarten he threw apples at her
She threw them right back at him, he was not her biggest fan
He didnt need time to think or wonder
Just turned around and ran

In first grade they liked to play tag
This turned into punching and kicking
Then she waved her white flag
Her bloody arms she started licking

In second grade she told him of a secret room
Taking him to the elevator shaft
After pushing him down his body made a boom
After she did this she pretended to laugh

In third grade they wrote each other death threats
Making each other cry
They secretly made each other bets
That together they would die

In forth grade he was pronounced a liar
He told her he didnt like her
She didnt show her tears because she was not a crier
So denial was her only cure

In fifth grade was when it all happened
Just like that they never spoke
Inside her heart secretly dampened
Her spirits and passion started to choke
He never really told her that he loved her so
He never really knew that she was letting go
Silently she went
Disappearing from her soul
Lying was his game and she was his toll
He went with some girl
Then she let it all out
Hearing all her secrets, he wanted to hurl
After all these years this is what she was about
So she liked him all along?
Was that really true?
All his chances were long gone
After all this what could he possibly do?

In sixth grade this girl of his he never cared for
He just wanted jealousy to rage in his true love
Without knowing it her heart he tore
In her line of ranking he stood above

There they were just one year later
I guess after all he really wanted to date her
If he could buy her love he would buy ever acre
I guess after all these years he was such a faker

In second grade they stood at the zoo
Kissing her on the lips is what he wanted to do
As it started to rain, His hope grew to pain
He just had to do it now
He walked right up to her and did a little bow
He kissed her right then and there in the pouring rain
She acted like she cared
After this she backed away acting like she was scared

Here they are older now but not at the zoo
Theyve got a new hobby and its kissing in the rain
He has found his way of saying his love is true
It not only heightens their love but washes away their pain

You know sometimes the simpliest poems make the best reading, and that was my feeling on this one, considering you choose such a difficult form in a Trois-par-Huit i'm really impressed at the way this one turned out. I like the deathly imagery that you present in the second stanza, quite graphic.

Well done, and i love poets who can explore with new or difficult forms of poetry to get different results, as it is all too easy to start churning out similar sounding poems all the time, so well done and taking a chance and i can't wait to see what you come up with next, Congratulations.

I'm assuming these are lyrics? If not they'd be beautiful when put to music.
I liked it very much. It seemed simple, yet got across great emotion. If it's meant to be a poem, then there would be a few places that would need fixing stucturally. But I cannot help there until I know what your objective was. No matter, I thought it was very nice.

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In the second line, I believe you mean rhythmically? I looked up what you have there and it didn't give me anything. Maybe my dictionary's just off, but I think rhythmically with the one less syllable sounds better anyways.



This, as a whole, has very nice imagery. I like how you repeat 'Dance Dark Ballerina' after every stanza too.
The main part I disliked about this was the lack of punctuation (especially periods) at the end of sentences or thoughts. I know it may not be necessary, but I think it helps the reader know when to take a pause or a breath when reading aloud. It also can help separate the sentences so that they don't all run together.
But, with technical stuff aside, it's an awesome poem with great descriptions. Keep up the great work.