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 Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:50 am
Hmm, I wrote this, and it was all sweet and gentle and stuff... (it was supposed to relay the feeling of being scared of falling in love) ... but then I read through it again and all I could think was 'what is this guy, some kind of stalker?' sweatdrop
Methinks some re-arranging of stanzas is in order...
Terrified Heart
Behind me,
Who is standing there?
Who are you, who are you?
Who are you to whisper my name,
And gently utter those words,
The three most terrifying words I’ve ever heard.
Beside me,
Who is standing there?
Who are you, who are you?
Who are you to stroke my face,
And softly caress my neck,
The most heartbreaking touch I’ve ever felt.
Before me,
Who is standing there?
Who are you, who are you?
Who are you to bend your knee,
And tenderly offer your heart,
The most meaningless gift I’ve ever received.
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:37 am
Wow! I really like it. I do agree, it sounds kind of like a stalker, but I find that adds to rather than detracts from the poem. I especially loved your last line because, even though it was cruel, I thought it made the poem... real, for lack of a better word. I really enjoyed reading this!!
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EstoPerpetua Vice Captain
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