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 Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:57 am
Another attempt it songwriting 3nodding I'm not sure how this one turned out... I'll leave that up to you guys to judge sweatdrop
Falling
If I fall, do you promise not to let me down?
Oh, Promise me you'll never leave
Or are you just like the rest
Yeah, I think you're just like them.
'Coz this is killing me you know
Oh, you kill me every day
And this pain will never leave me
But I guess you'll never get it
'Coz you love me but don't love me
And you don't need to understand
It's ok and I'm alright
I'm just another girl who'll never trust again
And I know that there are worse things
But Ican't think of any right now
Oh, I don't want to lose you
Do I really want to lose you?
Oh
And if I fall, could you promise not to tie me down
and promise me it's only me
Or are you just like the rest of them
Yeah, you're just like the rest now
Oh you love me but don't love me
And you never have to understand
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:45 pm
A few quick comments. First off, while I like the lyrics well enough, I don't find it rhythmic. The one essential thing to lyrics is the ability to put them to music. I have a hard time doing that with this. Try to create an outline of beats, lines, and pauses to make it sound more like a song. You're well on your way to doing it, but not quite there yet. Second, while I know songs don't need a chorus, it is nice to have that unifying segment. Your lyrics have two different repeated phrases. Try repeating them a third time to make it more like a song and less like a poem.
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EstoPerpetua Vice Captain
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