|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:34 am
This takes place in the near future of Danshoku along the Rites of Passage timeline, so a good few things have happened that have caused some characters to not be around, and there are a few that are in here that you may not recognize (yet). Yet, you'll notice that EVERYONE is going to be in this! 3nodding Anyhoo, this crack fic is brought to you by the broken laws of the time space continuum and made to celebrate Gaia's summer event. ENJOY MIRA'S MUSES GETTING DRUNK WITHOUT HER AGAIN! Table of Contents: PrologueChapter One
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:36 am
Prologue
“Here?” Doku asked Giri with wide eyes, “But uh… it’s a dump?” he lifted a bit of burnt timber, “There isn’t even anything around,” he gestured at the empty village, “It’s been abandoned for years!”
“Give me a second,” Giri said as he knelt down in the dirt, using a kunai to write out a diagram, “Lessee… I think he told me to divide by zero and that…”
The dark haired youth yelped as suddenly the burnt and ruined timbers and stones started to mesh together into a rather large and homey looking tavern. “It worked!” his companion said happily, “Now we just need to wait on everyone to get here!”
“Nice job!” a voice said behind them and they looked to see the woman with midnight hair tied back in a half braided ponytail and a glowing black kitten on her shoulder, “So Shi, since they’re going to all this trouble, you can let everyone out for a bit right?”
The blond man next to her grumbled as he looked up form the book he was writing, “You do realize that Kaze and Giri might cause the universe to implode if they’re in the same room.”
Arashi grinned, “I’ll seal Giri,” she said with her hands up, “Besides, you promised!”
Doku blinked, “But you died!” he said pointing at her, “Taran said that you…”
She stepped forward, placing her hand on his mouth, “Shush, spoilers. Now Giri, stand still, I have to get you a bit,” she drew a katana from the sheath on her back and before either boy could comment on the blood-red sheen to the blade, she sliced the white haired boy and returned the blade to it’s home, “Now let’s do this!” she said as she walked inside, followed reluctantly by Shi.
Doku whirled to Giri, “What’s going on?”
“Rashi said that we could have a party with everyone here,” he grinned, “Weren’t you and Taran saying that you missed Yoru anyways?” he looked at the strange symbol that appeared on his arm where she had cut him, “And I get to see my parents again! And do you realize whose bar this is? We’re in for a real treat.”
“I’m more confused than ever,” he said as he and Giri went inside.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taran looked up from the letter in his hands to the empty buildings of Danshoku, “Wonder why I was told to come here,” he said to himself as he looked around.
“What are you doing here?” a voice snapped and he looked up to see the red-haired woman pushing up her glasses as she glared at him.
“I could say the same of you,” he retorted as a hand went to his pouch containing his puppetry scrolls, “Killing Yoru wasn’t enough huh?”
“You’re still around aren’t you?” she reached for her hair sticks, “You both tricked us…”
Flame surrounded them both and they looked up in shock at the fiery haired woman smiling at them, “No fighting!” she said as she held up a finger, her green eyes flashing, “Taran, you should know Mama’s rules, I’m surprised at you,” she looked at the other girl, “And you grew Kotori!”
“Mama…” he whispered, then shook his head, “How are you…”
She shrugged, “All I know is that we’re having a party. Come on, I think Mama made a bunch of pies for a contest. I was going to get a few into the oven myself, but Meiro suggested that I make sure the two of you don’t kill each other before you get in here. What happened to make you guys that pissed at each other anyways?”
“A long story,” a voice said as a hand wrapped around Taran’s waist, “Mostly having to do with the truth not being told to my brother.”
He slowly turned, wide green eyes staring at the one that was standing there, “Y…yoru?” he whispered before bursting into tears.
“Aww, Mama look!” Kiyomi said as she and her sister appeared next to Karin, “Not a single tear for us, but I don’t care.”
“So much love!” Kiyoshi sighed, “Damn, maybe we should have been kept in operation to study that more.”
“Let’s leave them alone girls,” Karin giggled, “I got to help with the pies anyways!”
Normally the words that would have put doom in the heart of Taran were ignored as he hung onto Yoru, “But how…”
“I think Arashi convinced that boyfriend of Doku’s to rewrite the laws of time and space,” he said shrugging, “Does it really matter?”
“Stop ignoring me!” Kotori yelped and both looked over at her, “Uh…” she blushed, “How do we get out of the flames? None of my jutsus are working on them.”
“Hold up,” Taran said as he took out a sealing scroll and absorbed the flames into it, “Mama’s a little zealous when it comes to…WAIT,” his eyes widened with fear, “DID SHE JUST SAY THAT SHE WAS BAKING?!?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 12:29 pm
Chapter One
“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call…”
“Hey Sora,” the elder of the fox eared silver haired twins hit his brother’s back, “Weren’t we told not to make any bad jokes?”
“I couldn’t resist,” the younger chuckled, “And the Outer Limits thing just didn’t fit.”
“I don’t know what the hell you two idiots are talking about,” their red haired sister commented as she passed by them, “And didn’t Mama ask you to man the registration table?”
“No questions then Chi?” both flashed her the same crooked smiles that served them so well as humans.
“Daddy told me the whole story after you left,” she shrugged, “Can’t say that I was that surprised that you’re kitsune,” she walked back to the kitchen, “Better tell Kano a bit gently though, I never did fill him in on it.”
They waved at her and then went to the table beneath the banner reading “Pie Eating Contest!” and tapped Arashi on the shoulder, “We’re taking over so if you want to sign up…”
“Nah,” she said grinning up at them, “But now I can go run the betting pool with Hayato,” she leaned in, lowering her voice, “So far I’ve got my money on Doku. Who are you guys picking?”
“Chain,” they said winking, “You ever seen him eat? And you know that Yuri’s just going to tie him up and shove the pies down his throat.”
“Shouldn’t there be rules against that?” she asked with wide eyes.
They shook their heads, “Ninja pie eating contest. There are no rules, that’s the fun,” Haru said.
“And why there are teams,” Sora added, “Don’t let your mom make any bets, that would be against the rules.”
“Not as much fun either,” Meiro smiled as she sat in between the twins, “Though I’m still not entirely sure how you managed to get Shi to agree to all of this.”
“I promised him that I wouldn’t tell even you guys that,” she said as she clapped her hands together, “And since people are starting to show up, I better get going, there’s a whole lot of money that I can use for the bets!”
She ran towards the back of the tavern, “Nice to know that the passages are finally being put to use,” Meiro said, then turned to the first person in line, “Sign up here, two or three person teams only.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t even want to think on how many laws of the universe were broken,” Mira said as she placed another pie on the counter, “Though you’ve got to admit, this is fun!”
“Speak for yourself,” Gaara muttered, “How’d I get put in charge of watching this thing?” he held a piece of steak over the black dog sized beast with ten tails.
“Because you’re hiding back here with me,” she smiled, “And you’re worse at cooking than Karin is.”
“Who just took out twenty pies from your secondary oven,” he pointed out, hiding a smirk as Mira ran across the kitchen to gently shove her eldest child out, “They might not be so bad.”
“There’s a black cloud hovering over each one,” she said with wide eyes, “What the heck did she put in them?”
He shrugged as she went back to work, “Hard to believe that this is the Juubi,” he said as he tossed the steak to the beast.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“We’re on Kimi-haha’s team,” Yoru said happily as he pinned the badge with the number five onto Taran’s shirt, “We just need to decide on who’s eating.”
“I suppose it’s a question of who has the most intestinal fortitude,” Kimimaro mused, then both he and his son turned to the third member of their team.
“Just because…” he started, then sighed, “Fine. If Mama made any, I don’t want either of you touching them anyways.”
“Too bad you won’t be winning,” Kabuto said from where he was sitting next to Sero and Kotori, “Lord Orochimaru already knows that I’m the better one.”
“In your dreams!” Kimimaro snapped, “I only lost because yours cheated!”
“Where is he anyways?” Taran whispered to Yoru, who pointed to where Orochimaru was sitting next to Tsunade and Jiraiya.
“They wanted to put the old team together,” he shrugged, “And actually… we’re in trouble, both he and Doku can dislocate their jaw,” he leaned to nibble on his ear, “But the winners get a whole extra week of time together,” he breathed, “So you better not give in so easily.”
Taran turned bright red, “I’ll do my best!” he shouted, then covered his mouth.
“So cute!” he winced as he heard his sisters behind him, “We’re cheering for you Taran!”
“Couldn’t you two stay in the Suna vaults,” he moaned as Yoru laughed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is so much fun!” Shinsetsu said as he pinned the number three to his shirt, “You sure you don’t want to help us out Kara-kun?”
“Absolutely sure,” he said, “Besides, you’re on a good team,” he nodded to the ice nin’s fathers, “I think he can eat probably a few countries worth of pies.”
“Oh Zabuza’s not eating,” Haku laughed, “I am.”
Karasu blinked, “Isn’t that a strategic…”
“Don’t underestimate him kid,” Zabuza said, “He’s a bottomless pit. I lost a fortune keeping him fed.”
“Oh hush,” the smaller nin said, “It wasn’t anywhere near that bad.”
“We’re going to have so much fun if we win!” Shinsetsu sighed, “I have the whole week planned out!”
“I’m going to give our week to someone else,” Hoshi chimed from where she was sitting next to Chain and Yuri, “It’s going to be hard to beat him, he eats in his sleep!”
“That was one time!” the blond protested, “And it wasn’t my fault that Auntie was making some sort of barbeque!”
“Both of your teams are going down!” Naruto exclaimed from where he was sitting next to Shane, “Mira made ramen pies!”
“She made some steak pies too!” Kiba shouted from the table that he, Sasuke, and Akamaru were at, “Everyone knows that you can’t go against a canine nin when there’s meat!”
From the back of the bar Kaze grinned, “This is going to be a lot of fun!” he said happily.
Hayato and Arashi nodded as they counted the money from the bets, “You didn’t want to join the contest?” she asked, “You grab Yuuko and Yuurei and it could be in the bag.”
“They joined up with Akira,” Hayato pointed out, “Besides, he wouldn’t let me run the betting pool if he was in the contest.”
She shrugged, “An extra week would have been nice, that’s all.”
“Says the girl that’s married to Death,” he held up a coin, “How many of these were there in those caves anyways?”
“He’s going to have to eat you if I tell you,” she said pointing at the black kitten on her shoulder, “Besides, what would you do with all that money anyways?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
