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Tags: writing, crystalbow, authors, writers, poetry 

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Loneliness of a lover unloved

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Emmerah
Crew

PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:58 pm


Wrote this one acouple of nights ago, was sort of lost in thought.
It feels really half finished... but I can'tfigure out how to add to it..

Loneliness of a lover unloved

If I were an apple,
Would I be in your eye?
Would you devour me whole?
Do you even like apples?

If I were a teddy bear,
Would I soak up your tears?
Would you cuddle me close?
Do you even like bears?

If I were a colour,
Would I be your favourite?
Would you see me and smile?
Do you even like colours?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:53 pm


I agree, it does seem kind of unfinished. Personally, I suggest tying in the title a bit more. I feel like it leaves you expecting something and then having it not there. I like the theme, but keep developing it!

EstoPerpetua
Vice Captain

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Paralyzed Poets (Poetry Forum)

 
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