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I'm beginning to feel desperate. Help?

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Noted Musician

Bashful Lunatic

PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2011 2:39 pm


Okay, right now, I will be honest and say that I have totally fallen head over heels for this guy in my fourth period class at school. His name is Caleb, he's Italian, plays hockey and golf, is lean, slightly muscular, has short black hair, and is incredibly cute.
But here's the thing, this happens all the time. I fall for guys way too many times to count, and I hate that no matter how hard I try, no guy ever notices me. Now, I'm not saying that I don't get attention because I'm anti-social, a freak, am ugly/fat, or anything like that. I've gotten many compliments from people saying that I'm pretty and am an amazing person/friend. I've even gotten compliments from other guys saying I had a nice butt/chest. xD I know right? [And I hope I didn't sound like a jerk/cocky.]
I really like him, and we've talked for a short time once before. I even have his number off of Facebook. xD He has a girlfriend right now, but this relationship has happened before. They're trying the relationship again. Honestly, I really hope they break up again.
I hope I don't sound desperate in trying to get a guy to like me, but I can't help it. Can you help?
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 10:05 am


It sounds like you are trying to hard to find a boyfriend. Even in today's society, guys like to feel they are the pursuers. They associate aggressiveness with neediness which most guys dislike. It's not that they don't notice you, it's that they notice you trying too hard and that scares them away. The two old sayings that come to mind here are:
1. People want what they can't have (try being less aggressive)
and
2. The gals chase the guys until the guys catch them (let the guy you like think he made the choice to go out with you)

In the case of Caleb, even if he breaks up with his present girlfriend, do you really want to be the rebound girlfriend? Rebounds rarely last. You'd be right back in the same situation that you're in now.

Lighten up! Love finds us when we aren't looking for it.

Krystal_Blue_Eyez

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Noted Musician

Bashful Lunatic

PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 4:54 pm


Haha. Okay, I'll try it. Thanks for replying. And you make a really good point. =] And thanks for pointing out being a rebound girlfriend. =]
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 6:49 pm


Lasting relationships need common interests in order to last. I for example wouldn't consider dating a women. If they didn't show an uncommon intellect.

From the sounds of things. This might be one of those cases. Where you like them more than they like you. Your story sounds more like you are in the "friend zone". Instead of being someone that they would consider dating.

The previous information given by Krystal isn't entirely accurate. Assertive/flirtatious women isn't a problem in my book. Though, there has to actually be something there. That would make me consider dating them. Flirting simply shows someone that you are interested. Which, can make them uncomfortable.

There also seems to be a possible problem with your situation. The, you want them to break up comment. Reveals that you want them to be with you because of a self interest. Not out of an infatuation and interest in there happiness. It sounds more like a "puppy love" than anything else. I personally have gone through that with a few women. It never went any further than simple infatuation.

-27 Year Old Male

LanceCalvis
Crew

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