Welcome to Gaia! ::

ok so ever since i was little, ive also been a tomboy, and i have also had to deal with a lot of bullying, sexual harassment and abuse.

in elementary school i was bullied because i am dyslexic and used to need a lot of help

in junior high and at the beginning of high school i was bullied and sexual harassed. the boyfriend i had at the time would attempt to do things to do me and call me bad things.

when i was REALLY little, i asked my mom to cut my hair short so that i would look like a boy, so they would play with me. otherwise, they would say "girls stinks" and send me away. my uniform at the time was a bat man shirt and grass stained shorts. i demanded to be called a kid instead of girl, i guess it was becausei wanted to be gender neutral lol.

well that has lasted over the years, i am still a bit of the tomboy. i hardly ever wear a dress. you can usually find me wearing nostalgic tshirts and dark wash skinny jeans, converse and nice jacket. i wear make up when i can..... but i never feel like i look the way i feel. i adore super adorable clothing, but at the same time i can never imagine wearing it! when i think of people i guess i would like to mimic as far as clothing goes, i think of frank iero when he still had that mo-hawk (guitarist of mcr) chris cofler's character on glee, Kurt Hummel.... and a ton of other guys in magazines

i go shopping for a dress but always come back with something usually dorky or black.

a few years ago, i cut off most of my hair, even though my family told me i looked like a boy, and that people on the street often mistaked me for a boy.

one embarrassing time was when i was with my family, when i was actually growing my hair back out and my purse was on the table by me a waitress said "what would you like to drink SIR?" pffffft.

but then their were other times, actually a lot of time when family and friends told me that seeing me with shorter hair just "fit" me. and the same can be said about a few other things... I've always been "one of the boys" it seems, only recently have i met friends who havnt seen me that way. its odd because i feel the same way i did when the boys at school wouldnt let me play with them.

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and idk i feel that its odd how i am attracted to boys but i honestly like looking and kinda acting like one too and am feeling really out of place right now. its my freshman year of college.