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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:33 pm
Ok, so.... I got a bit carried away with this one. It was only supposed to be a short tester of a style. I don't really like how I ended it, but I don't think I would have been able to come up with a better finishing point even if I kept going, so it would have just been endless... anyways! sweatdrop Read on 'coz you want to. Enjoy 'coz you can. Comment, 'coz you love me? 3nodding
She’s confused She can’t quite tell whether she’s being Used. Abused? The bruises suggest it but she has no Clue. Why? Her life in your hands and she cannot Defy. Lie? Though she’d rather give in to your whims she must Try. Cry? She refuses to show all but strength in her Eyes. Pay? There is no price left that you could possibly Name. Blame? She’d rather move on if it’s all the Same. Fake? Yes, but she calls it raising the Stakes. Wake? But it isn’t a dream that she made a Mistake.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:01 pm
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you....
I find this to be very interesting... The style is new for you, and I really like it. It adds... a unique flow to the poem. The rhyming wasn't uniform, but I still like it. I like how the questions lead into the next line but usually tie in the line before it. I found it a bit... confusing isn't the word I'm looking for, but it's close enough. I do love your last line.. stanza... thing. Great work, I'd like to read more like this.
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EstoPerpetua Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:49 am
Thankyou! I wasn't 100% sure whether I liked the style myself, but it's easy to write and I can definitely see myself writing more like this.. my aim before I try anything else though is to write at least one happy poem. sweatdrop
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