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Happiness Wrapped in Fins [Children's Short Story]

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Good for a children's book?
Yes!
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 100%  [ 4 ]
No.
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Total Votes : 4


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Bloodthirsty Hellraiser

PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:47 am


There was once an unimaginably wealthy couple. They had a green and lively yard that streched by the acre. Their mansion was as big as they get filled only with the most beautiful luxuries.

They seemed to have everything...but a child of their own. Everytime they tried, the wife just could not conceive. She then was notified that she was infertile. This heart-breaking news crushed the wealthy couple, and so they grieved for months to come.

Every night, while his wife was fast asleep, the devoted husband would go to his gargantuan window and gaze at the moon. He would capture the moon in his gaze, and pray intently.
"'O gracious, opulent moon!
I come to your side for happiness' sake!
Giver of the night, grant us our wish, and soon!"

Everytime he would chant his short song of prayer the moon would glow brighter upon himself and his sleeping wife. One day, on a full moon, the devoted husband sang his song of prayer and something remarkable happened. A figure appeared from the moon that looked like it was winged. The devoted husband, out of consternation, quickly got to his feet and stared in awe at the descending figure. It came closer, and upon inspection, the figure looked like an angel! The devoted husband then asked for the divine creature's name. The moonlit angel shook his head and said only that he was a persona of the moon to which he sang to. The Moon's Angel thanked the devoted husband for his nightly routine of prayer.

"For such a lovely song directed at me, I feel obligated to grant you your long desired wish. You truly deserve it. Though I must warn you, upon the night your child is born I expect to meet with and bless him with my grace."

The husband readily agreed and thanked the Moon's Angel and promised he and his child shall meet. The following morning the devoted husband came to his wife and asked for them to try once more. The wife declined out of pain and asked why he would ask this of her. The husband simply said to trust him and try one last time. Surely enough, they did.

One month later the couple received the news that the wife is pregnant. She soon after asked how it was possible, but the doctor only said it was a miracle. The wife knew nothing about what her devoted husband has done for them.

Their child-to-be was a boy and out of the husband's insisting they named him Lune. Even remembering the Moon's Angel's part of his son, the devoted husband forgot the promise he made to the Moon's Angel. Though the Moon's Angel was not a vengeful entity, he grew impatient with his favourite prayer. The Moon's Angel then made it so that the new mother and father's son would feel any other emotion but any form of happiness.

It was not long until the couple noticed that their beautiful baby boy, Lune, was not feeling any feelings of happiness. All the while they were relentless on their love for Lune and showered him with many gifts just to see their son smile. They gave him the most luxurious and fashionable clothes, but still no smile. They gave him all of the most plush and adorable toys and stuffed animals, but still no smile. They took him to the most exciting places to be, but still no smile...

Lune's parents would not give up on their son's happiness. Despite all of the gifts and expenses paid for Lune there was one gift in particular that snared with him: a mermaid. It was definately different than the rest of his gifts, and most definately the most memoriable.

When Lune's loving parents first showed him his new gift in their vast aquarium, they expected a sort of surprise. To their disappointment, he did not show any anticipated reaction, that is, immediately.

The mermaid was a beautiful creature indeed. She looked about as young as Lune, and had ivory skin like his. Her head was full of volumnous golden hair accented with her jewel-like aquamarine eyes. To those in the mansion, she was the most sweetest thing they have ever set their eyes on. The couple was pleased with the sweet mermaid that they kept her, unlike the other disposable gifts they have obtained for Lune. Still, they had high hopes for the mermaid.

Without their knowing, Lune started to make frequent visits to his mermaid at night.

Even though the pale illumination of the moon was not enough to reveal all in the aquarium tank, Lune could still see his wonderous mermaid's smile.

"How can you like it in there?," Lune abruptly asked the mermaid. She simply smiled more and continued to stare at the curious little boy on the other side of the thick glass tank wall. Lune then places both of his pale tiny hands on the cold hard glass wall. He looks at the moon; it is almost full.

The next day Lune came to his parents and asked for the mermaid's name. The both of them looked at each other and said they did not know, and suggested that Lune named her. Lune then asked if she was able to talk, and again, his parents said they did not know. Lune's parents were astonished by their son's sudden interest in anything, let alone the mermaid. After their conversation, Lune went to his room.

That night Lune slipped into the aquarium chamber and spotted the mermaid. He suddenly gets the urge to speak to her again.

"It's a full moon tonight."
No response from the mermaid, but more smiles.
"I'm Lune, who are you?"
Suddenly the mermaid stops smiling and stared intesely into Lune's little grey eyes. He blurts out in a strange anger.
"How can you like it in there? You haven't sayd why, so why?!"
"If there is a chance to see your smile, then I shall stay here, Lune."
Surprised by the mermaid speaking, Lune is silenced. Something inside him is stirring ever so fiercely.
"I... do not have a name, but it is a pleasure to meet you, Lune."
Said the mermaid smiling, but not her usual smile. This one was more sincere, and was affectionate.
"I was hoping you would name me."
Lune merely stared at the transformed mermaid, stupefied.
"Luna."
"Like your name, Lune?"
The mermaid giggled and came as close as she could to Lune on her side of the thick glass tank wall.
"Yes. I get this feeling that we were meant to meet."
"That is right, Lune."
"Why do you keep saying my name, Luna?"Luna did not move or change in expression.
"Because, Lune, I have been waiting for thirteen years to meet you..."
Shocked, Lune blushes and begins to smile.

-Fin
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:09 am


I hope you guys like my story. c:
I will draw out the charcters soon. x3

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Bloodthirsty Hellraiser


Cereserel

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:15 pm


Really nice story 3nodding great to know that you're active in this guild at least whee
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:44 pm


the only thing I would say or add is to add more and keep up the good work. I would like to see it longer and what happens afterwords. Is there love? does he free her? as Smendrek says in the Last Unicorn There is no end. at lest not here. there are questions to still be answered, and explored.

Lon Blackstone

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:32 am


CONTINUE! biggrin
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 5:47 am


OMG! O_O -glompeh- HAII! NICE SHORT STORY! OMG TIME TO GO TO A PERFECTLY BORING SCHOOL >:0 -kill meh now..-

Amy Pearl

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Bloodthirsty Hellraiser

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:44 pm


Lon Blackstone
the only thing I would say or add is to add more and keep up the good work. I would like to see it longer and what happens afterwords. Is there love? does he free her? as Smendrek says in the Last Unicorn There is no end. at lest not here. there are questions to still be answered, and explored.

._______________ .;;
It's supposed to be like that.
Not all stories tell you want happen and keep going,
it'll ruin how great the story was in the end.
And imaginations help create possibilities of what has happened later on.
Besides,
was there something uncomprehensible about "children's short?"

@Everyone- thank you for the compliments. x:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:01 pm


lL U C lI lF lE lR
Lon Blackstone
the only thing I would say or add is to add more and keep up the good work. I would like to see it longer and what happens afterwords. Is there love? does he free her? as Smendrek says in the Last Unicorn There is no end. at lest not here. there are questions to still be answered, and explored.

._______________ .;;
It's supposed to be like that.
Not all stories tell you want happen and keep going,
it'll ruin how great the story was in the end.
And imaginations help create possibilities of what has happened later on.
Besides,
was there something uncomprehensible about "children's short?"

@Everyone- thank you for the compliments. x:

I am sorry ir you didn't take it that way but what I said was meant as a complement

Lon Blackstone

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Bloodthirsty Hellraiser

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:17 pm


Lon Blackstone
I am sorry ir you didn't take it that way but what I said was meant as a complement

. _.
You seriously need to review your posts,
perhaps even revise.
I just hate comments like what you were conveying with your previous post.
I dub those kinds of comments superfluous and "blonde" comments.
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Merperson Lives/Stories

 
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