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A few days ago, Saturday to be precise, my mom hurt me. We were in a fight about the phone, in the car on our way to the mall. [I needed some new jeans, growing too tall too quickly] and aparently I was talking over her. SO, she took part in grabing me by my hair and bamming my head against the window, than yanking me towards her as I fell from my seat.

Apparently its my fault.

Apparently, she can't control her anger.

When Im the one with the anger issues

And Im the one getting help

And Im the one who goes outside, sits on her hands and crys because she can't stop wanting to hurt those around her.

But, I snap off at my mom, and she's the angry one with no control.

I ******** HATE her. I wan't to rip her limb from limb, just to hear her scream and cry and beg me to stop! I know its wrong, I know its not needed, but I just don't give a flippin' ******** anymore!

I'm sick of people touching me! I'm sick of people HURTING me!

I tried talking to my boyfriend about it.

He said that he didn't wan't to hear me b***h.

Than my mom turns around and says:

'Next time I do something like that, call the police. But keep in mind that foster homes are worse. Also, its alot better than when James was around.'

I screamed at his name, stepping back into the hallway. She followed, obviously angry at my reaction. Soon we were in the kitchen, and she continued to b***h about how much I stress her. Before I knew it my hands were over the knifes that sat up on the counter. I grabed the biggest one there was. She just looked at me, and I to her.

Suddenly the hate was replaced with sadness and I began to sob, crying harder than ever. Droping the knife, I crumpled to the ground and cried. I was there for four hours, and she just left me. Maybe wen't off to read her book.


And that night, she has the nerv to snuggle up to me. But Im so hurt I can't deny her arms. Im so hurt I can't not wan't to be loved, not to be forgiven for what I was about and ready to do.

But I can't take this anymore.

same, i cant realy say what would be best for you to do crying
I hope things turn out ok though sad

I think you should tell your psychologist about her. Maybe, They'll get her some help. Because SHE'S the one who needs it. I have been in your situation, I ended up moving out. (I was kicked out because I'M the whole problem in everyone's life) I know exactly where you are coming from. My mum is A Skitzo. She's such a b***h but she dosen't realise it and her problems are worse than anyone else's. Your boyfriend is a jerk! He dosen't love you. (Sorry but, its the truth) Whenever your mom gets like that go to your friend's house and stay there. Just avoid her completely. BUT, don't be rude to her or call her names. If she asks you why you're never home just say "because, I feel that I am treated badly by you" or something else straight forward but nonacusary. If you ever need to talk to someone IM me. I've been there.

... ********. I would have ******** stabbed her.
Not all foster homes are horrible. If your home life is like that all the time, foster care might be something that you might want to look into.
You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of s**t.

(Thank you crying I'm touched!)

soadrocksk8er4life, how are things now?

Wow... um... I would maybe talk to your psychologist about her, and maybe he can get her some help. I think she needs it.
One part of what you said really stood out to me. The part where your boyfriend told you to stop bitching. I think that's a horrible thing. Your boyfriend should be your outlet. I can cry to my boyfriend about everything. He helps me a lot. He's the one who listens to me. He's the one I can talk to. That just seems wrong that your boyfriend won't listen.

That sucks. It really does. Talking to her won't do anything by the sound of it.... if your religious, pray, if not, then try staying at a friend's house until it gets sorted out.

ok, hon, first of all, slamming your head against a window constitutes abuse and should be reported. I know it's hard, and even though your mom loves you she still needs help controlling her anger.