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Mythey Maysonia
Crew

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:49 pm


You come across the damnedest s**t on Craig's List, so let's take a moment to search our local Craig's List pages and see what lulzy postings we come across.

Here's one I found today, I'm posting the text instead of a link to the page, in case the mods take it down before everyone gets a chance to see it:


central LA > gigs > crew gigs
I need a good recipe for cat for a short film

I am shooting an experimental short film, and I am on a tight budget. I want to feed my crew, but I dont have any money for food. Does anyone have a recipe that can make cat a little more palatable. It would really help a fellow film maker/artist if someone could help me. Thanks


Exact words, I am not making this s**t up.
PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:05 pm


Okay, this one is a little long, but it's worth it!

Quote:

Dog sitter for LA's #1 dog (Hollywood / Westside)

Hi guys!

This is Junior, aka LA's #1 dog. He's a mini dachshund with a real soft spot for Pupperoni.

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

And this is Junior's dad (that's me - Josh).
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Fortunately for Junior, his dad cares a lot about him and just ain't havin' no kennels or cages for him. He gets to come to work with Dad every day. Pretty sweet gig, eh? Well, here's the trouble: Dad owns a software company, and that means dad travels a lot. Junior needs somebody who is just superduperfrigginawesome to look after him while Dad is out of town.

Up to this point, Junior had an awesome sitter named Will who was super reliable....he and Junior were best buds. Unfortunately for Junior, Will's music career took off and he's currently traveling the world kicking a** as an epic rockstar or something like that. So Junior needs a new best bud.

Ideally, Junior's new best bud would have most or all of the following:

First off, Junior needs to be able to kick it at your spot, no exceptions to that one. This isn't a come by his spot every day or so gig.
Local to Hollywood/Venice/Santa Monica area (Melrose/La Brea is where Junior and I kick it, but we're moving to Venice/Santa Monica soon)
Work at home or are home most of the time. Junior gets hot flashes when he's left alone for long periods. If you do something low key out of your house, like teach ukelele or sell easy bake ovens on eBay, that works just fine for us.
Available pretty much whenever, and ideally on short notice. Sometimes Dad has to travel unexpectedly and he might have to drop the tyke off on short notice.
If you've got a place with a fenced in yard or some other situation where he can run around like rocket dog (he does that sometimes), that's perfect.
The most important thing by far is safety: Junior's dad used to be Junior's cousin's dad until someone else left the wrong door open, so we're both kinda sensitive to the safety issue. Please let us know that you have a secure area he can be safe in and can keep him appropriately leashed when you're out recruiting actors for that indie film or whatever is you guys will do when you hang out.
So that's about about it. As cool as Junior is, he knows you need to eat too so he is ready to fork over the dough for your time.

$30 a night for less than a week
$150 a week for a week or more
To give you an idea of the upcoming schedule, Dad has to travel leaving this Wed 4/13 and coming back around 11pm or so Thu 4/14 - this will be a good chance for you guys to see if you have a connection beyond just his good looks.

After that, Dad is going to Peru for the first two weeks of May; Junior doesn't know about that yet so let's keep that one between us.

So if you're thinking ZOMG Junior and I can totally be soulmates, then just send me an email with your info (where you're at, when you're around, what your living situation is, bla bla) and we'll come over and do laps around your kitchen to see if it's a fit.

Mythey Maysonia
Crew

Wealthy Heckler

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  • Battle: Counterstrike 150

2A30128

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:15 pm


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:08 am


Craigslist doesn't exist in Australia (as a site internally, we can go visit it though) It makes me lol.

I would so babysit that dog for money!


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Mythey Maysonia
Crew

Wealthy Heckler

14,100 Points
  • Alchemy Level 2 100
  • Battle: Counterstrike 150
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:46 pm


VVhip
Craigslist doesn't exist in Australia (as a site internally, we can go visit it though) It makes me lol.

I would so babysit that dog for money!

Lol, you're not alone. That sounds like the world's best dog right there. Junior's Dad is pretty cute too. redface
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:54 pm


Oh boy here we go:

Massaged Needed Tonight
Just looking for a full body massage tonight available until about 1am. Used to have a regular girl come weekly but she moved so now looking for someone to replace her. You don't need to be a professional, I just enjoy the company and relaxation time. Can travel locally or host. Let me know your rate.


Listen honey, let me tell you something. If someone's asking you to make yourself available for a massage until 1 am or later, he's going to be excepting more than just a massage out you. Thinly veiled request for casual sex. Flagging this s**t. stare

Mythey Maysonia
Crew

Wealthy Heckler

14,100 Points
  • Alchemy Level 2 100
  • Battle: Counterstrike 150

Mythey Maysonia
Crew

Wealthy Heckler

14,100 Points
  • Alchemy Level 2 100
  • Battle: Counterstrike 150
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:07 pm


Oh boy, this here's a doozy:

los angeles craigslist > central LA > gigs > domestic gigs

Looking for trainer to get me more muscles than a seafood banquet (Hollywood)


That was the best seafood joke ever and you know it.

Looking for someone to get me in shape, I wanna look like Conan as soon as possible so I can start picking out loincloths. I'd like to focus on chest/shoulders/crotchfat first so I can walk around in tight leather pants and impress/scare the ladies (in a good way).

No training at a gym please, I'm looking for some old-school training like hitting rocks with a sledgehammer, punching bears in the face, manly stuff like that. I have plenty of Dio, Wolfmother, Iron Maiden, and Masterplan tunes to keep us pumped.

Also, I'm kinda broke, so I can only pay you in Pokemon cards and action figures, and probably beer every other session (or whatever else, pick your poison).

Whatever your gimmick, natural training, voodoo, steroids, I don't care, if you can guarantee that it'll get me buff quickly, I'm willing to try it. I'm 5'8'' 175 pounds, not fat, just want a lot more muscle.

Feel free to make me some offers!


I was totally down with this entire post until the Pokemon cards part came up. Then I lost it. I hope I didn't wake anyone up with my laughing.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:21 pm


Relevant to your interests:
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2A30128

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:21 pm


I was wrong craigslist does exist here. I checked out the personals.

It's all "M seeks F for hookup" And prostitutes advertising their services in the "F seeks M"... The seeking same was just ridiculous.

But my favourite to read are the ones where they're like "M seeks beautiful F i saw on the roof top cafe of such and such building at 4:57pm on 15th of June 2007... I didn't have the guts to talk to you then, but I thought you were gorgeous and I wish I had asked you out, so inbox me"

WTH? lol
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 11:57 pm


.

2A30128

Shameless Heckler

12,000 Points
  • Sausage Fest 200
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Partygoer 500


Whip

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Crew

Rainbow Succubus

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:30 am


Shady-chan
VVhip
I was wrong craigslist does exist here. I checked out the personals.

It's all "M seeks F for hookup" And prostitutes advertising their services in the "F seeks M"... The seeking same was just ridiculous.

But my favourite to read are the ones where they're like "M seeks beautiful F i saw on the roof top cafe of such and such building at 4:57pm on 15th of June 2007... I didn't have the guts to talk to you then, but I thought you were gorgeous and I wish I had asked you out, so inbox me"

WTH? lol

I didn't even touch my area's personals. Too many weirdos here. gonk


Lol, whelp, when you get to a certain age... personals are all you have... ain't many people come knockin' after you hit 25 XD

(I'm seriously kidding, I don't use the personals, they're funny to read though)
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