Here is a play wrote by yours truly. I wanted to share it with you all, since you guys have a kind way of telling me I suck. And a kind way of telling me I rock, of course. So, yeah! And when you finish reading, answer the poll! ^_^ enjoy
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A SURPRISINGLY TERRIBLE REUNION A parody by MOI
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ACTORS/ACTRESSES NEEDED!!!
-Sacagawea
-Lewis
-Clark
-Cameahwait
-Narrator
-Scout
-Husband
Narrator: The Lewis and Clark Expedition has come to a bumpy road and…uh…what’s my line? Oh, right. Chief Cameahwait is unsure if he should give the group horses.
Lewis: Dude, can I have, like, some horses?
Cameahwait: Who the heck are you? And what makes you think we have SEAHORSES? Silly stranger!
Lewis: I am—what’s my name? Right, right! I am Meriwether Lewis and I want HORSES. And my group, like, totally means, like, harm. Wait, no, I mean my group totally means NO harm!
Scout (skipping in, linking arms with Sacagawea and Clark): I found these peeps…uh…where did I find you guys?
Sacagawea (sarcastically): We were LEPRECHAUNS at the end of a RAINBOW!
Scout: No, no…don’t listen to them, Chief, they lie…they were actually riding UNICORNS! Isn’t that great?!?!?!
Lewis: CLARK! Uh, I mean CAPTAIN! SAC—SACA—um, NATIVE AMERICAN GIRL WHO IS MARRIED TO A FRENCH ANIMAL KILLER! You’re ALIVE!
Clark: Yes, Lewis, but Sacagawea here didn’t help a bit because she thought the BLUEBERRIES in the BUSH were not poisoned! We almost died but the Scout saw us and thought we were in the tribe. Thank goodness the scout wasn’t bright.
Scout: I’m right here! Hey, Native American Girl, you’re shaking. Anything wrong? The poison is coming!!! HIDE!
Narrator: Sacagawea was actually shaking. This was the first smart thing the scout said. She stared up at Cameahwait, then rushed up to him in fury.
Sacagawea: WELL, IF IT ISN’T MY BROTHER! Wait, that’s you, right?
Cameahwait: Who the heck is this LADY? What’s she talking about?
Sacagawea (not angry any longer, wiping her tears): Brother, It is Sacagawea! My husband and child wish to meet you!
Cameahwait: It is you! Wait a mo, HUSBAND? CHILD?!
Sacagawea: Oh, thanks for reminding me to divorce the dude bro!
Clark: He’s an animal killer.
Cameahwait: Sis, that’s tight! You wanna divorce him? Can I come to the celebration?
Narrator: Apparently, Sacagawea was fading into the distance already to rip her husband’s French heart to shreds.
Clark and Lewis (at the same time): ARE WE STILL KEEPING THAT LITTLE CHUBBY THING!?
Sacagawea (far off): YESSS! How many time have….(voice fades away)
Lewis: So, you guys wanna go get some smoothies while we wait for Sacks, or, like, what?
Cameahwait: Sounds like a good idea…
Clark: Yeah, it does…I’d like a smoothie…
Scout: Yeah, yeah, I could go for a smoothie…
Narrator: Before the group left, Sacagawea’s now ex-husband ran past Lewis, Clark, the scout, and Cameahwait wailing,
Husband: WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Narrator: So Cameahwait gave them seahorses, and the expedition was completed somehow. I’m not sure how. We weren’t given the—
Scout: Who’s talking?
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And yes, I did parody a short play I did in school, since I thought the play could use a little more sprinkles on its cupcake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A SURPRISINGLY TERRIBLE REUNION A parody by MOI
_______________________________________________________________
ACTORS/ACTRESSES NEEDED!!!
-Sacagawea
-Lewis
-Clark
-Cameahwait
-Narrator
-Scout
-Husband
Narrator: The Lewis and Clark Expedition has come to a bumpy road and…uh…what’s my line? Oh, right. Chief Cameahwait is unsure if he should give the group horses.
Lewis: Dude, can I have, like, some horses?
Cameahwait: Who the heck are you? And what makes you think we have SEAHORSES? Silly stranger!
Lewis: I am—what’s my name? Right, right! I am Meriwether Lewis and I want HORSES. And my group, like, totally means, like, harm. Wait, no, I mean my group totally means NO harm!
Scout (skipping in, linking arms with Sacagawea and Clark): I found these peeps…uh…where did I find you guys?
Sacagawea (sarcastically): We were LEPRECHAUNS at the end of a RAINBOW!
Scout: No, no…don’t listen to them, Chief, they lie…they were actually riding UNICORNS! Isn’t that great?!?!?!
Lewis: CLARK! Uh, I mean CAPTAIN! SAC—SACA—um, NATIVE AMERICAN GIRL WHO IS MARRIED TO A FRENCH ANIMAL KILLER! You’re ALIVE!
Clark: Yes, Lewis, but Sacagawea here didn’t help a bit because she thought the BLUEBERRIES in the BUSH were not poisoned! We almost died but the Scout saw us and thought we were in the tribe. Thank goodness the scout wasn’t bright.
Scout: I’m right here! Hey, Native American Girl, you’re shaking. Anything wrong? The poison is coming!!! HIDE!
Narrator: Sacagawea was actually shaking. This was the first smart thing the scout said. She stared up at Cameahwait, then rushed up to him in fury.
Sacagawea: WELL, IF IT ISN’T MY BROTHER! Wait, that’s you, right?
Cameahwait: Who the heck is this LADY? What’s she talking about?
Sacagawea (not angry any longer, wiping her tears): Brother, It is Sacagawea! My husband and child wish to meet you!
Cameahwait: It is you! Wait a mo, HUSBAND? CHILD?!
Sacagawea: Oh, thanks for reminding me to divorce the dude bro!
Clark: He’s an animal killer.
Cameahwait: Sis, that’s tight! You wanna divorce him? Can I come to the celebration?
Narrator: Apparently, Sacagawea was fading into the distance already to rip her husband’s French heart to shreds.
Clark and Lewis (at the same time): ARE WE STILL KEEPING THAT LITTLE CHUBBY THING!?
Sacagawea (far off): YESSS! How many time have….(voice fades away)
Lewis: So, you guys wanna go get some smoothies while we wait for Sacks, or, like, what?
Cameahwait: Sounds like a good idea…
Clark: Yeah, it does…I’d like a smoothie…
Scout: Yeah, yeah, I could go for a smoothie…
Narrator: Before the group left, Sacagawea’s now ex-husband ran past Lewis, Clark, the scout, and Cameahwait wailing,
Husband: WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Narrator: So Cameahwait gave them seahorses, and the expedition was completed somehow. I’m not sure how. We weren’t given the—
Scout: Who’s talking?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And yes, I did parody a short play I did in school, since I thought the play could use a little more sprinkles on its cupcake.
