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1st serious love poem....

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blissfulend

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:12 pm


(plz excuse my spelling) ok so im not so good at love poems. i wrote one about my current bf, im not if its any good or not. my friend read it and her comment was "awwwwwwww" but mainly cuz im dateing her step brother hahaha
but id like ur opnion. and maybe some adivice how to improve love poems. im warning u right now. its not my best work at all

my sweet love

My dear kyle
Your simple touch eases me
You lavish me in love
so delicate with care
runing your soft fingers threw my short hair

For love i have found in your supple eyes
It is for you i live rather then die
I imagine at night
Me tight in your arms
Safe from the pain they'v tried to drowned me in from the start

Death shall not kiss me when you are near
For it is your name I hear chanting in my heart
I thrust myself into the darkness of life

Hand in hand we shall stay
standing agesnt all pain in are way
Shareing that one passionet kiss
Forever we stay
PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:55 am


it is an amazing poem the words are very touching only thing is the flow could be a little better. over all very well done mrgreen

Akarui kishi Zane


blissfulend

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:22 pm


Knight of the Royal Court
it is an amazing poem the words are very touching only thing is the flow could be a little better. over all very well done mrgreen

thanks 4laugh
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:49 am


it was really sweet ^^

redheadsrule13

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Kittycquariana

PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:55 pm


It was a sweet poem smile . Just a little thing, though, just make sure to check over your spelling. If you don't have microsoft office word, you can always try spellcheck.net--you have to be careful with that site, though; it can sometimes give you a word that means something unintended.
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Writers World

 
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