so basically its about a vamp, that doesnt feast on human blood but on vampire blood (for those who dont know trinity blood), who gets sealed nd wakes up in the 21st century in the body of a teenage girl on her 17th birthday.
so here is the prologue... and i think it needs to be fixed especially the creepy chant.
Prologue
One candle flickered in the small storage room as two men sat hiding behind two large crates. The taller man rubbed his hands together, thinking of what he and his friend were to do next.
“Are we really going through with this bloody plan, John?” whispered the short chubby man in his natural European accent. John looked up over the edge of the crate then turned to face the questioner.
“Yes, we are. So you do best to remember what the plan is, David.” John’s accent was much like David’s only his was deeper and showed less fear.
“B-b-but she is feared by all us regular vampires.”
“That does not matter to me,” snapped John, “Valentine Crusade is a new and forbidden race of Vampires.”
“Are you sure she is the only Crusade Vampire?” David shivered at the name. His skin was naturally really pale, but it seemed to get paler as the seconds ticked by.
“Have you heard of any others?”
“No…”
“Then yes, she is the only Crusade.”
With that last line the candle flickered again, only this time losing its flame with a slightly stronger breeze. Both vampires ducked below the crate and looked at each other in panic. They knew she was here, and now their planned seemed like child's play.
Seconds passed and there was still no sound of any footsteps. The two Regulars at the foot of the crate were just about to let out their breath, when the one they feared appeared before them.
“Seriously,” giggled Valentine, “you Regulars are so entertaining.”
Valentine smiled down at them showing her white teeth and fangs. Her flaming red hair flowed endlessly to her waist and her eyes, which are tinted red, fit perfectly on her young face. David covered his head with arms so as to hide himself from danger.
“Wait, don’t do anything yet,” stammered John, digging for the knife in his pocket. Valentine frowned as she saw what he held when he pulled his hand back out. John ignored the frown and poked David's chubby waist so he could do the same.
“And what are you to do with that?” Asked Valentine, in her naturally musical voice.
“We wish to entertain you some more.” Both David and John pricked their thumbs as Valentine's eyes squinted in confusion. David missed twice from shaking so much; he constantly checked his pants to make sure they had not been wet yet.
“Do you really think I could be so stupid?” Said Valentine, but before the two Regulars could give an answer she lunged at them with inhuman speed.
Caught off guard, John and David shut their eyes and quickly held their pierced thumbs toward either of Valentine’s arms as she lunged. When they saw that they had successfully smear their thumbs on both sides of her smooth arms, both men stood up and started to chant.
“To dear Dracula,
The creator of all us, Regulars.
We call to you now in time of need.
For this person here,
Valentine Crusade,
Hath disturbed our peace.
We ask of you to seal her away,
Never to come back again.”
As they chanted, the smooth tanned color of Valentine started to pale. She screamed loudly as if the interruption would save her from their horrible chant. But, by the end of the chant Valentine’s body was no more than an empty cell.
One candle flickered in the small storage room as two men sat hiding behind two large crates. The taller man rubbed his hands together, thinking of what he and his friend were to do next.
“Are we really going through with this bloody plan, John?” whispered the short chubby man in his natural European accent. John looked up over the edge of the crate then turned to face the questioner.
“Yes, we are. So you do best to remember what the plan is, David.” John’s accent was much like David’s only his was deeper and showed less fear.
“B-b-but she is feared by all us regular vampires.”
“That does not matter to me,” snapped John, “Valentine Crusade is a new and forbidden race of Vampires.”
“Are you sure she is the only Crusade Vampire?” David shivered at the name. His skin was naturally really pale, but it seemed to get paler as the seconds ticked by.
“Have you heard of any others?”
“No…”
“Then yes, she is the only Crusade.”
With that last line the candle flickered again, only this time losing its flame with a slightly stronger breeze. Both vampires ducked below the crate and looked at each other in panic. They knew she was here, and now their planned seemed like child's play.
Seconds passed and there was still no sound of any footsteps. The two Regulars at the foot of the crate were just about to let out their breath, when the one they feared appeared before them.
“Seriously,” giggled Valentine, “you Regulars are so entertaining.”
Valentine smiled down at them showing her white teeth and fangs. Her flaming red hair flowed endlessly to her waist and her eyes, which are tinted red, fit perfectly on her young face. David covered his head with arms so as to hide himself from danger.
“Wait, don’t do anything yet,” stammered John, digging for the knife in his pocket. Valentine frowned as she saw what he held when he pulled his hand back out. John ignored the frown and poked David's chubby waist so he could do the same.
“And what are you to do with that?” Asked Valentine, in her naturally musical voice.
“We wish to entertain you some more.” Both David and John pricked their thumbs as Valentine's eyes squinted in confusion. David missed twice from shaking so much; he constantly checked his pants to make sure they had not been wet yet.
“Do you really think I could be so stupid?” Said Valentine, but before the two Regulars could give an answer she lunged at them with inhuman speed.
Caught off guard, John and David shut their eyes and quickly held their pierced thumbs toward either of Valentine’s arms as she lunged. When they saw that they had successfully smear their thumbs on both sides of her smooth arms, both men stood up and started to chant.
“To dear Dracula,
The creator of all us, Regulars.
We call to you now in time of need.
For this person here,
Valentine Crusade,
Hath disturbed our peace.
We ask of you to seal her away,
Never to come back again.”
As they chanted, the smooth tanned color of Valentine started to pale. She screamed loudly as if the interruption would save her from their horrible chant. But, by the end of the chant Valentine’s body was no more than an empty cell.
