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 Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:46 pm
Wrote this one this morning after being inspired by a really weird dream. . . sweatdrop Anyways. as always, enjoy and please do comment 3nodding
Oh! also, I have a quick question.
If I am in two seperate writing guilds, one of which is full of mostly members from the other - which has far more members, should I post everything I write into both guilds or just stick to posting in one of them at a time?
The Stage
Watch me,
As I step out on the stage.
My eyes full of fire,
My heart full of rage.
Hear me,
As I sing my final tune.
My voice full of passion,
My words full of boon.
Know me,
As I leave my final stage.
My gait full of longing,
My steps full of pain.
Remember me,
As one who knew right from wrong.
My soul is eternal,
My words will live on.
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:55 pm
First, about your question. I am in three writing guilds; one I love (this one, and the last I joined), one with people I like, and then there's THE OTHER (sadly, the first I joined). I talk to the people I like in guild two and rate poems and stuff, but I mostly post works in this one. Cuz, it's the one where I've found what I wanted in a writing guild. I also try to rate and comment whenever I possibly can (though I had been having time problems with work and no inspiration for more poems [and my short stories suck gonk ]). Anyway, the point I'm working at is that it's really up to you. I've found what I'm looking for here. Yours may be elsewhere (though I hope its here wink ). Someone else told me that they post trial stuff in one guild, but save their best/finished works for posting in another--and only in the other. It's whatever works for you.
Now, about your poem. If it doesn't change the meaning or anything, I'd remove the 's' from boons. It stands out too much plural. Other than that, this is perfect. I loved this one, and I could picture each stanza as it was being told and enjoyed it to the very last line. 3nodding
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EstoPerpetua Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 12:53 pm
Hmmmm... That is a good question. I am a member of 4 different writing guilds. The first I joined is the one that most people here are members of (Coffee Stains and Crumpled Paper) which, as I love it, is not quite as active as I hoped it would be. There are periods where everyone posts, and then times when no one does.... The other two I'm a member of don't really have anyone participating. Then there's this one which, although it is rather small, is usually pretty good about posting. Most people here are really dedicated, and its a really nice atmosphere, so I end up posting anything I can find on this one. Really, you should do fine posting your work anywhere, but I'd post it in both guilds.
@SaraDiva: Totally not true about your short stories! I love them!
Now on to the poem.
It really is beautiful. I am just slightly confused about what you are getting at here. Your first stanza is what really has me confused. The first two lines are fine, but then you go into "My eyes full of fire, My heart full of rage." I was hoping you were going to go into through the rest of the poem, but that didn't really happen... Second stanza is good, but I agree with SaraDiva, boon would be better than boons. Third stanza brings back my questions. How are we to know you? We don't know what is going on. Fourth stanza is great, except I'm still left confused. Your words are beautiful, and the feeling is too, but the meaning is vague. If you were to clarify it, this would be an absolutely fantastic poem. Keep up the great work!
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