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Inspired by recent events in my life, but I'm not sure if I conveyed the emotion well enough to warn about it.

Fifteen Minutes Is Never Enough

“You totally should’ve gotten that dress!” Two women strolled through the Saturday mallrat crowd, weaving around the throngs of people. The redhead, whose arms were laden with more bags from various stores than the brunette, trilled on, “You could’ve knocked any brother out with it! The red complimented your sexy bod perfectly, Jackie!”

“For a hundred and thirty dollars it should‘ve made a King Kong sexy,” Jackie laughed, shaking her head, “Sorry, but it’s not worth it for that price.”

“Girl, the perfect dress is worth any price. Besides, it’s your birthday!”

“Yeah, well, I have a kid to feed at home, Stacy.”

“Well, I told you to just get child support from Miles’s dad,” Stacy scoffed as the bags shifted noisily on her arms, “Deadbeat should take some responsibil--”

Jackie snapped her mouth shut as her phone gave out a shrill ring, interrupting Stacey‘s preaching. Fumbling to get it out of her purse, the woman quickly read the caller ID screen and a jilt shot through her heart. UNAVAILABLE blinked across the phone.

“Who is it?” Stacey peaked over Jackie’s shoulder, before her nose wrinkled and disdain filled her tone, “Speak of the devil.”

Jackie’s eyebrows knitted together as she stared at the screen. She didn’t understand why he was calling now. Glancing at Stacey, Jackie waved her away, “Go shop, Stace. I’ll deal with this.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Stacey rolled her eyes and, once she turned her back to venture into the nearest lingerie store, Jackie automatically pressed the answer button on her phone. He hadn‘t called in weeks. After sitting through a recording and accepting the call, silence hissed gently into her ear from the other end.

“Jack?” His voice brought a bite to the woman’s eyes and she held her breath, hoping to hold all the emotions in as well. Instantly, she realized just how vulnerable she was. Standing in a shaft of sun welcomed in by the few skylights in the mall, while others scuttled by in the dark, she couldn’t tell how many people were staring at her, watching her intently.

Jackie bowed her head, hiding her eyes behind locks of her hair, “Hey, Alex.”

“Hey.” His voice was soft, almost a murmur, but the relieved tinge in it tugged at Jackie’s heart.

Jackie bit her bottom lip, feeling a menagerie of emotions sloshing about her chest. Old recollections fought to stay afloat in the emotional turmoil. His scent, his eyes, the feel of his body next to hers and how his calloused hands brushed against her knuckles; it all bubbled up in her thoughts, adding a sharper taste to the pain in her gut. She steadied herself, slowly pressing the conversation forward, “Why’d you call? Thought we weren’t talking anymore.”

“Yeah,” There was a moment of silence as Alex lamely trailed off. Jackie pressed her lips together, wondering just what he wanted. He had cut himself off from her months ago, claiming they just shouldn‘t be together. She couldn’t do anything to change his mind and he blocked her from being able to contact him. A shot of pain skewered through Jackie’s guts as she shook the memories away. Alex’s voice distracted Jackie from her metaphysical pain, “I realized today was your birthday, Jack. So, happy birthday.”

“Is that seriously all?” The words came out harsh and sharp. Tears wobbled on the edge of Jackie’s lashes as irritation mixed into her slew of emotion. He cut her off from contact, just to reopen the wounds on her birthday? Jackie swallowed the lump in her throat and glanced around; this time, she noticed people had stopped to listen in and eavesdrop. Rage blistered through her, but Jackie didn’t dare move from the skylight’s warm embrace; her phone rarely got good reception in the mall.

On the other side of the line, faint shouting and shifting crinkled in Jackie’s ear. She waited with fire in her ribcage for him to utter another word, hoping it would soothe her stomach’s churning. Finally, Alex spoke again, but his hollow tone drained the anger and sadness from her, “I…I’m sorry, Jack, I shouldn’t have called. I‘ll just go now.”

“No,” The word shot out, softly, as Jackie returned her eyes to the ugly tiles. She bit her bottom lip again as she urged herself to keep talking, despite the tears threatening to breach her eyelashes and dribble down her cheeks. Single syllables were all she could muster, “Don’t. Please.”

“Jac--”

“Please, Alex.” Jackie waited, in silence, dreading a deafening click if Alex hung up.

Jackie‘s felt her shoulders relax as his voice murmured in her ear again, “How’s Miles doing, Jackie?”

“He’s…he’s doing good,” Jackie took a deep breath, pausing for a second before she felt her throat ease enough for her to speak, “He‘s potty trained now, but is getting into everything and is a troublemaker, typical two-year-old.”

A sad chuckle curled into Jackie’s ears, and she remembered why Alex wanted, so badly, to cut off contact with her. He always did a better job of keeping it all under the surface that she nearly forgot how hard everything was on him, “Sorry, he probably gets that from me.”

“Probably.” She offered a weak laugh back. Awkward silence weaseled back in as words rushed around Jackie’s head. There was so much to say, so much to tell him about, to update him about. She couldn’t bring the words to her lips, though; this may be the true last time they spoke. Jackie’s throat felt thick and itchy, as if all the words were caterpillars clogging her esophagus. A few words still managed to crawl out, “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“He looks so much like you.”

She heard Alex’s slow, shaky exhale before his forced word weakly tagged along, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, babe. He keeps asking about you and how you look,” Jackie heard a strangled, but curious grunt from Alex and continued on, “And he always smiles when I tell him he looks just like yo-”

An almost inaudible chime interrupted her. Jackie bit down a whimper as her chest tightened. She hated that damnable little chime. It was so insignificant, but it was always a mocking warning that her long awaited talks with Alex were coming to an end. They had less than a minute left to sputter out goodbyes.

“We miss you, Alex,” Jackie pressed the words from her lips quickly, feeling the floodwater of her tears pushing past her resolve now. Her words trembled as she forced them to rush into Alex’s ear, “We miss you and we both love you so much. Please, don’t shut us out.”

The chime taunted again, beckoning the tears to fall from Jackie’s eyes. She could feel her mascara and eyeliner streaking over her cheeks. There were thirty seconds left.

“I love you both, too, hun.” Alex’s voice was strained and thin. She could almost hear his voice wobble as he fought not to cry, “But it’s too hard. I’m sor--”

The phone clicked off. Jackie stood there, lips trembling as tears streaked coldly over her cheeks and down the curvature of her neck. Her fingers tightened around the phone, the plastic creaking in her grip, and for a second she debated on slamming it into the tile beneath her feet. Slowly, her fingers relaxed and Jackie lowered the cellphone. She glared at the flashing timestamp of fifteen minutes and twenty-five seconds, loathing that number. Still, a soft part of her heart soothed the rage with thoughts of him calling again that evening.

Jackie forced enough calm into her arm to slip the phone back into her purse just as Stacy returned to her side, “Girl, why don’t you just ignore those calls? Seriously, a felon isn’t worth you crying all the time.”

“Stace,” Jackie glanced at her friend, a tight smile curling at her lips, “You and me have different ideas of worth.”