Welcome to Gaia! ::

I decided to make this topic after a lot of recent depression. This is a way to think what made you emo or just to tell people whats wrong in your life. This is my story.

My mom and dad got a divorce when i was around 3, i remembered them togather, then i remember my mom getting remarried few years later, but nothing in between. My dad wasn't a bad dad, he just didn't know how to be a dad. My mom married my step dad when i was about 5 and he was a deadbeat...all he would do is yell and say mean things to my mom for 10 years until they got a divorce. Sometime close the end of there marriage my brother turned 16 and i was 13 my brother went into the stage were "everyone is stupid but me" and he devoted his hole life to the marines. He's an a** to my mom but she doesn't care because she's lucky if he even speaks to her, this has been going on for a more then a year now and I'm 15 and hes 17. I always had great social skills and have been making my mom laugh since I was born so now that my brother rarely talks to her she likes him more then me. She lets him do whatever he wants and NEVER yells at him for anything...she only yells at me. As soon as my step dad and mom got divorced she immidiately started dating this new guy. He is really nice, but I don't want another step dad. He recently took just me and my brother out to eat and I knew what was going to happen, he told us he was going to try to get married with our mom. It's currently been a few weeks after that and after talking to my mom over text I realise why my life has been sucking so much. I don't have a dad, I don't have a brother, and my mom just yells at me and craves my brothers attension.

My life have never been right.
I grew up with an abusive workaholic smoking father, a mother who doesnt care for anyone but my other siblings, sisters who hate my guts, and a brother acts like hes the smartest person in the world now that hes in high school. Because my father smokes I have really bad health but i go to school everyday. People at school hate me (I dont know why...ive never done anything horrid to them). My classmates use me and i know they do but im scared to stand up for myself. No one in my life is like me...ive never had a real friend before because im too shy and i wear black a lot. Ive never made a decision about what to do with my life because as a daughter of very strict parents i do as they tell me to. My life was planned out for me and i never disobey my father. I grew up learning that i can never show or be who i really am because im a girl. I have an arrange marriage and am forced to do many things in my life that i dont want to. I feel like a puppet. On Gaia is the only place where i actually talk about how i feel.