So, I am writing a story, and I want opinions and ideas.
here is what I have:

It wasn't a normal day. It was actually a very oddly hot day, for the winters of Utah. Dean sat lonely in his bedroom, not knowing what to say to the little tiny fish he usually shared his feelings. He was having a bad day, and he didn't think that anything could make it better. He wanted to go to the park, and spend his day there, but it was too snowy, and nobody would be there. Dean lay his head on the cold window and felt a shake. He looked outside, it seemed he wasn’t the only one feeling it. He saw the tank sitting on his dresser fall. He picked up a bowl that once held cereal, and scooped his little fish into it, and got what he could of water before the shaking got worse. Dean took the fish with him as he ran downstairs. His 4 sisters, Becca, Marci, Charlie and Jessie where already standing in the livingroom. He heard running up the stairs, his heart was racing. His twin brother, Daniel, ran in holding a baby. The baby was only 6 months old, and was there cousin, Mark. Dean looked around for his parents. No sign of them. Then, he felt dust fly from the ceiling. Yelling and screaming were coming from far cornors of the house. Dean put his fish down on the floor, and went to stop his sisters, from running to find Their parents. It was no use, they had already bolted up the stairs. Then, Dean heard crying. He ran over to his cousin Mark, and brother Daniel who where huddled over by the fire place. Dean grabbed his fish, and ran over to them, sloshing water all over the floor on his way.
What seemed like hours later, but was only a few short minutes, the sudden shaking had stopped. Dean and Daniel looked up. Daniel stood up, still holding the baby, who was screaming. He laid the baby on what used to be the couch, but was now a bunch of pillows covered in dust. Dean and Daniel walked outside. They knew what had happened, it was cold out there. Suddenly, there were sirens. Seven or Eight trucks came up the road, and one turned to there house. They looked around and the neighboring houses, then back at there own. A few men got out of the firetruck, and asked Daniel if anyone was inside, and they knew that they were hurt. Dean grabbed his brothers shoulder, “Mom, Dad, Becca, Marci, Jessie and Charlie!” He said as he ran inside. He ran upstairs, as he peared around the cornor, he saw a dreadful sight, his parents, and sisters all covered in blood. His eyes got warm, and tears streamed down his cheeks. He heard someone yell, and pull him out of the way, pulling a stretcher behind him. Dean sat down on the floor and started crying. Daniel walked inside, carrying Mark, and told Dean to go get in the car, they were going to go. Dean stood up, and walked down the steps. He sighed, none of this should have happened, he should have been able to get his sisters. When they arrived at the hospital, terrible news awaited them. Jessie, Charlie and Becca hadn't survived, neither of the parents either. Marci was alive,but in a coma. Dean clutched his brother close. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't, there simply where no tears left in his body