please give some critizism!! I want to make my writing better. I woke up, groggy and unprepared for the new day. My alarm clock wailed at me to get up, or fall deaf to its cries. After a while I got annoyed and aggressively whacked my finger down on the small "off" button, silencing the whole house. Coming out of my room I saw my little sister skipping down the stairs while humming a tune.
"Hey! Emiliah! What are you doing up? I thought you were ditching today." I said to the back of her head. I was almost halfway down the steps before she answered me. She stopped and turned around, her soft blue eyes meeting mine.
"Oh my god Johnnyyyyyyyyy I told you to call me Emmy," she said in a slightly annoyed tone, "and my grades are pretty bad. I need to get them up so Mommy will buy me a car!" she turned around flipping her stick straight blonde and blue hair over her shoulder. I fell silent knowing she obviously didn't want to talk to me, and continued on with my morning routine. "Momma, will you drive me to school today? I don't want to drive." I heard Emmy ask from another room in the house. I never bothered asking. Even though I didn't have a car, my family just told me to run the 4 miles to school or be late. So off I started, walking to school yet again.
The first 4 hours of school went by slower than a snail could retrace his slimy tracks, but finally my favorite class was next. Gym had always been my strong point. The locker room we had to change in smelled of sweat and dirty boys. I didn't care because I was soon out of there and in the gym just before the late bell rang. I was always the first in the gym, but this time there was another guy there. He looked tall, with longish chocolate brown hair. When I walked to my normal corner he looked up at me and smiled.
"Oh, good! I thought I was going to be the only one in class today! Haha, I'm new here. Think you could tell me your name?" he asked very nonchalantly.
I hid my face from him as I replied "um...my name is John." my voice quivered. Great, now this guy thought I was a complete social creep. Soon all the kids had came into the gym and the teacher ordered everyone to start the usual 20 minute jog. The new kid jogged up to me and smiled.
"So, John, where do ya live?"
"Uh....Well...I live.......around" I finally managed to say after thinking about what this kid might be doing. I didn’t know him. Why would he be asking where I lived? To mug me or something? The boy interrupted my thoughts by saying "Aw Man!!! That's such a weak answer!!! My name is Jack and I live around to. Ya know?" he flashed another smile, and I saw his eyes. They were dark blue with a tint of light green. We jogged for 7 long minutes of awkward silence before I tried to strike up a conversation. "So...um...Jack...where did you move here from?" I asked in the most casual voice possible. It was so bad it sounded fake.
Jack laughed at my attempt to normal conversation, "My girlfriend persuaded me to move here from the Americas," he said' "I agreed but had to take a stupid language thing to learn how you guys speak. Hahaha!" he started giggling again. He looked at me again then stopped dead in his tracks. "Dude, your eyes! They're two different colors!!!!!!!" Jack almost yelled
"Yes, they are. Is there a problem with that?"
"Well...no, but that is so cool!"
I smiled and nodded, but ran a bit faster to get away from Jack. For the first time in my life I was begging time to move faster and get me out of gym.
* * *
A loud piercing ring interrupted my deep thinking. Finally, the end of the school day. I decided that was the worst day ever. First of all, I figured out the girl of my dreams wasn't in any of my classes. Second, the idiot Jack was in all my end-of-the-day classes. He obviously did NOT understand the fact that I hated him. At all. Now I was dreading going home. I slowly closed my Calculus book and shoved it in my backpack. "Good bye, Mrs. Wiggins, see you tomorrow!" I said in a cheerful chime while walking out the door. I waited a few seconds there just to hear her beautiful Hispanic accent say "Hasta Luego, Johnny!"
"Mom, Dad, Emmy, I'm home..." I whispered in a doleful tone. I downright hated my family. Though today the house was eerily quiet. There was no screaming parents, no sobbing, and no blood. Just a blast of heavy silence hit me right in the face. Of course, I took advantage of the moment and made a mad dash to my room. "Alright...time for my-" CRASH!!!! A huge clatter at my window scattered my thought into the far reaches of my mind. Jumping up in a panic, I scrambled to my now broken window. While investigating the damage I found a rock. It was a pretty good sized rock, so I looked out the window to see a figure running away into the woods. "b*****d!!!" I screamed to their disappearing figure.
"JOHNATHAN L. CARRANDETH!!!" my dad bellowed from somewhere within the house. I heard vicious fast steps running up the stairs and I knew I was dead. Just as I dropped to the floor in a bow (a show of deep respect in my family) the door to my room flew open to reveal my father. His eyes were a raging fire red and his usually slick black hair was dirty and matted. "What the hell is this?! Why is the damn window broken?!" he screamed. A dark aura surrounded him and started to choke the air in the room. When I peeked out from my bow I only saw his shoeless feet.
"Dad, Dad, I'm sorry," I shrieked, "I will clean it up and pay for a new window with my next paycheck! I Promise!" I was scared for my life when I felt something blunt and large come down on my back. I knew not to run from my dads beatings. He would just get more pissed off and hit me more than he would have before. I couldn't think when I actually saw my dad swing something blurry at me, I blacked out when the thing made contact with my head.
Three hours later...
Throbbing pain all over my body ripped me from my unconsciousness. Slowly, but surely, I was fully awake and started to check myself for the damage done. There were bruises everywhere, my left leg had a huge gash that was bleeding badly, and there was a cut going across one-fourths of my head. Dad got me pretty good this time, but I've had enough. I am so done with this place, I thought. Today was the day that I left my entire world behind me with only a backpack weighted with textbooks and homework to keep me company.
About an hour later, I hobbled into the schools alley just as the sky shook cold white flakes, like dandruff, onto the ground. A hobo in tattered clothing and a seemingly new jacket bounced up to me with the look that said give me money or get mugged. "Here's a dollar. It's all I have. Go away." I stuttered as I handed the man my last dollar. He smiled and ran off whooping like a madman. To somewhat escape the cold I blew on my hands and touched them to my ears, they immediately lost heat due to the earrings going all the way up my ears were so cold. Every noise made me jump. Every voice drew me farther into the alley. I was scared my father would find me and hurt me again. After a while of counting my ragged breaths I heard some casual footsteps coming my way. Oh crap, I thought, but when I tried to get up my legs were to cold to cooperate with me so I again collapsed to the unforgiving ground.
A familiar voice suddenly cried out just a few feet in front of me. "OMIGOSH! John?!" Jack half yelled, "What happened to you?!" he asked as he ran over to where I laid. My thoughts started to crowd my hurting brain to the point I passed out again. Faintly I could hear Jack call help.
* * *
When I woke up again the pain that was there before was gone. Something was different though...a stench filled my nose that was all too familiar. Demons. I stayed dead silent and heard a conversation outside my room.
"Jack, where did you meet that boy?" a young sounding woman’s voice asked.
"At school, why? What’s wrong with him? Can you sense something strange about him? Haha" Jack joked around a lot. That I knew from only a few hours with him today.
The woman hesitated a moment before answering, very serious. "I think he's a demon." Well, s**t, she was half right there. I was half demon and half human. My mother had me while still human. Those nine months were an everlasting arduous struggle for survival so when I was born, my father changed her so she could live. This woman most deffinatly was a demon, for only our kind could tell.
"Oh....so...that means..."
"Yep. I'm going out so Yumi is going to come and make sure you don't break the TV again."
I waited until I heard the garage door close before my first attempt of getting out of bed. When it failed, I noticed the white bandages covering my arms, torso, and legs. Then I felt my head only to find a large wad of gauze taped on. Deciding that getting out of bed was out of the option I looked around my room. The walls were painted with a cream white paint and small black designs, the only furniture was a very nice loveseat, the bed I was laying on, and a night table. My bed sheets were black and felt of real silk and looking to my right I saw a large walk in closet. For some reason closets scared me. Looking away from there I noticed a glass of ice water on the nightstand. Feeling exceptionally thirsty I took a swig of it. Just before I put it down my door cracked open. A gorgeous woman walked in, looking no older than 18 or 19. Her wavy blonde hair cascaded down below her perfectly sculpted butt, and the rest of her was just as beautiful.
"Oh! You’re awake!! Hi, my name is Yumi and I don't own this place. I was ordered to watch over you though. And you're cute for a human so I don't think I will have any problems." She flashed a mouth full of white pearls and shut the door again. I waited for a little trying to take in the goddess I had just seen. Not long after the door closed was it open again. She strode in, her hips swaying gently to an unheard melody. She had a fourth of a turkey sandwich in her hand that looked very appealing. "So, Jack told me your name is John. Right?" she asked, her silver and purple eyes met mine in a moment of perfect silence before we looked away from each other.
Not hesitating to answer her I said, "Yeah, that’s right". I found myself staring at the food she was shoving in her mouth. When she noticed she said "Hey that’s right you're probably hungry..." she drew in a deep breath and screamed, "JACK, GET JOHN A SAMMICH BECAUSE I'M TO LAZY TO DO IT MYSELF!!!" I couldn’t help but laugh at his. "What’s so funny?" she asked
"Haha...uh......nothing...never mind. Did the woman who owns the house say anything to you about what she thinks of me?" I asked, changing the subject.
Yumi's eyes darkened with a long moment of silence to accompany that. Great, I killed her light mood. Finally she answered, "Yeah. Salena said that she thought you were a demon and probably dangerous so she didn't want to keep you here long...that's why I offered to take you home with me for a while until we can find out where you live and take you back, bu-"
"NO!!!!!!!!!" I suddenly blurted out, "I mean.....uh...I don't have anywhere to live now because my parents, or more my father, kicked me out."
"JOHN WANTS TO GET LAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jack screamed from another room. My face went hot as I looked at Yumi very quickly. Her eyes showed off the smile that didn't spread to her mouth. Finishing the sandwich she had in her hands she began to talk around her food.
"He's just kidding." she muttered, something to herself then said, "come on lets go to my place where it's actually quiet." Yumi got up and walked over to the bed, and picked me up with ease. "Bye Jack, I'm going to take John to my place now. Don't burn the place down or break the TV. If you do, then face my wrath." With that we left on the long and slow trudge to the place I did not know.