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I went through a serious denial of what I was after I awakened. It went so far as to me denying that I was drawing in energy at all. As this was before I learned how to shield, it was rather ridiculous. Once I learned how to shield, I tried to completly stop feeding, because I felt bad, even when it was willing feeding. Well, that's not exactly true...I would pull all the negative feelings and emotions of people around me into myself, simply because I didn't want them to feel bad. In a sense, I would 'cleanse' the room whenever I entered it. Unfortunatly, as I was drawing in the negative energy, my shields were being rather porous, and therefore went down rather easily.
Let me tell you, when you finally get used to having shields, and then they ALL go down, it sucks...I could literally feel the energy pulsating around me. And I was attracted to it and repulsed by it at the same time. Looking back, the repulsion was probably my unconscious reaction to my rejection of my Vampirism. This was before I'd even heard the term Psi-Vampire. Before I used the much more neutral term of 'Energy Sink'.
It drove people who were jsut meeting me up the freaking wall because, for some reason wink , I tend to make friends with energy users. They wouldn't be able to get a good reading on me because I kept my shields up...so I always felt off...
I didn't know there was anyone like me until the end of last school year, where my martial arts instructor did a lesson on energy work. We talked afterwards, and he said that he was the same way, though he never used shields to control it, just will-power. Unfortunatly, that was the last time I saw him, as I transferred schools after that year.
I didn't associate the term Psi-Vampire with myself until earlier this school year...and I suppose that I'm jsut not sure what I should do yet. I also beleive that I am part Fey, with a bit of the Phoenix mixed in, (which would explain my cyclic nature, the way that I seem to die off then come back stronger...and my affection for anything shiny (though that could just as easily be a ferret...)), and I'm trying to match the gentle and healing nature of those two with the harshness of the Vampirism, and them smash them all into a box containing my morals and religious beliefs...
I guess what I'm trying to achieve with this post is to gather ideas that anyone can suggest for helping me achieve and maintain this balance, other's who ahve had similar experiences of denial, or anything else that people want to comment on.

Thank you and have a nice day blaugh

well, I never was conciously denying myself, but I probably did train myself to ignore my vampiric and feline tendencies, subcounciously. I do know that shields of any kind suck. at least, they suck when you want to take them down.

ahh..... see I never get that problem.

Hmm, well, I can only say that I have been denying it. Thing is, someone else said that it's "logic" that does that, and has to do with how I was raised.

So, yep, I have denied my kinness, and yet it's like a coin.
One side, I believe I'm an otherkin, and there's the arguement that it can't possibly be real.
On the other, I deny it, yet then there is the feeling that I am wrong.

I just wish that I could tell for sure either way.