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The Vatican has released evidence proving that Jesus Christ was an "exaggerated and mythologized" version of Lucius Caesar, with key dates and details in the life of the Roman prince altered to hide his role in the early Christian Church.

Original documents which have been carbon dated to 50 years before the birth of Christ show that Lucius Caesar was the youngest of two sons Julius Caesar secretly produced with his own daughter, Julia, and used to begin the process of "Christianizing" Europe.

Hoping to infiltrate the Jewish and British cultures with clever impostors, Vatican records detail the lengths Gaius Julius Caesar II went to in order to secure a greater tax base for the expanding empire. While his father, Gaius Julius Caesar I, was opposed to creating a false religion to replace Roman tradition, Julius actively employed Lucius, his older brother Gaius Julius Caesar III, and his daughter, referred to as Servilius or Julia, to execute the plan.

The Vatican admits the scam "will take a great toll on public faith and well-being in the transitional phase that is sure to come, as devout Christians adjust to seeing religion as a personal expression rather than an institutionalized set of beliefs with allegorical figureheads."

However, they claim that as 2012 approaches, it is time to "set aside the complicated crimes of our human past, and move forward into a new, more honest era."

While the emotional and spiritual costs of the shocking announcement are virtually unfathomable, the immediate financial implications are clear. The entire corporate body of the Catholic Church, and of the Vatican State itself, face an immediate "closing of shop" to halt the possibility of lawsuits by outraged followers.

A source inside the Vatican claims that the truth about Christianity's unseemly origins have always been known by the pope and other high-ranking figures, but that a philosophy of "encouraging a climate of generous love" developed with the hope of avoiding prosecution.

With the Catholic Church under greater attack than ever for allowing the practice of child sexual training to continue, Vatican officials seem ready to face the backlash that will no doubt erupt as Christians of all denominations question the very foundation of their beliefs.




Story (Free Press)

Alternative story (Wire Service)


Of course, if anybody can find sources, that would be great. I and a group on Facebook can't find any.

These people teach our youth every Sunday; in the most extreme of cases teach that the Theory of Evolution and/or biological evolution are false, despite it's scientific evidence.

Your first link 404'd.

This is seriously epic. x'D
Now I kinda feel better that these people are finally bringing the skeletons out of the closet.

"One of the most amazing and perplexing features of mainstream Christianity is that seminarians who learn the historical-critical method in their Bible classes appear to forget all about it when it comes time for them to be pastors. They are taught critical approaches to Scripture, they learn about the discrepancies and contradictions, they discover all sorts of historical errors and mistakes, they come to realize that it is difficult to know whether Moses existed or what Jesus actually said and did, they find that there are other books that were at one time considered canonical but that ultimately did not become part of Scripture (for example, other Gospels and Apocalypses), they come to recognize that a good number of the books of the Bible are pseudonymous (for example, written in the name of an apostle by someone else), that in fact we don't have the original copies of any of the biblical books but only copies made centuries later, all of which have been altered. They learn all of this, and yet when they enter church ministry they appear to put it back on the shelf. For reasons I will explore in the conclusion, pastors are, as a rule, reluctant to teach what they learned about the Bible in seminary." — Bart D. Ehrman

Any chance you can try that again, in English this time?