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Oh s**t man, I am gonna do it.

if you do a tl;dr im obviously never gonna read it

Frelly has submitted an entry.

plan|face: lold/10

It was a dark and scary halloween, where all the ghosts and ghouls were out to play. Xhaff was out to visit his friend Jackie Chan, who wanted to learn the spirit of halloween because they don't got that s**t in Chinahole. All they got is like a rapist moon dragon that shits cakes.

"Ni Hao young Shaff!" Jackie Chan said, "are you here to teach me the western ways of Ralloreen?"

"That's HalloWeen, my friend, and yes I have come to do that thing." Said Zhaff, who was feeling particularly chippper today, it must've been that freshly cut pineapple he was sporting. "Now quickly put on this skull, we're gunna go scare Tribor out of his ******** garbage can!"

"Soooooooooo much fun!" JC said as he put on his skull. The two went out to the near by Ladder Factory where Tribor liked to sleep. They crept up quietly then lept out and banged wildly on the trash can, "WAKE UP, WAKE UP! TIME FOR YOU TO GIVE US CANDY!"

Just then the head of the factory poked his head out the window. "Don't you boys know? Tribor has been dead for FIIIIIIIIFTY YEARS!"

Just then the trash can opened and a ******** ZOMBIE popped out! "OH ******** s**t OH ******** ******** s**t ********!" Jackie Chan was bit! "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Just then he changed. From the bite Jackie Chan was transformed in to a giant, beautiful dragon who promptly began to rape Zombie Tribor and s**t cakes. Thus the curse was lifted and Tribor came back to life, only to die again from horrible rectal trauma.

The End.

Frelly: yes/10

One day Xhaff woke up to find the ghost of Jackie Chan floating away with his pineapple hat. Xhaff, being half-awake, trudged like a zombie to the old ladder factory where Jackie Chan was headed. When he got there a rapist jumped out of a garbage can and yelled "I'm gonna rape your skull" then Xhaff replies "Is that you Tribro?" and then the mysterious figure says "No it's me Fesoria. I've been stuck in here for the past few weeks help me there's an excess amount of glue and melted marshmallows among other sticky things in here."

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Pollack: hot/10

Let me tell you a story about the ghost of Jackie Chan.

See Jackie Chan was once a great warrior. But then after Zhaff Xhaff turned into a zombie on Halloween, There was a terrible fight. It happened on top of the golden pineapple, Which was inside the ladder factory. And Xhaff bashed Jackie chan's skull in with his tail. And then became a rapist from raping Jackie chan's dying body.

And so, Thats why Jackie chan's ghost now lives with Tribor in a garbage can as his ******** toy.

The end.

Zombio: original story do not steal/10

Twas the ghost before Halloween, when all through the ladder factory
Not a pineapple was stirring, not even a zombie.
The candy was hung by the garbage can with care,
In hopes that Jackie Chan soon would be there.

The bats were nestled all snug in their skull,
While visions of Xhaff terrored their heads,
And the rapistin his ‘kerchief, and I in my web,
Had just eaten a brain and were having a nap.

LizzyJayne: holy ******** long time ago in the mythical land of Shaff Zhaff Xhafftopia, in the city of XHAFF, the citizens lived under the rule of a tyrannical dictator by the name of Lord Xhaffinton the Third. Xhaffington drained his country of it’s wealth to fund his lavish parties, Asian whores, and his fetish for PINEAPPLES. Lots and lots of pineapples.

Lord Xhaffington also was the father of the young prince Triborius, Triborius inherited his father’s lust for life and strong work ethic, but none of his cruelty. Triborius loved his land and the people within, and would often shift through the GARBAGE CANS to help the poorer members of the country to find food. He was so good at garbage diving that he held annual garbage diving festivals in the city pavilion.

One day, Triborius and his father had a heated argument about the CAWndition of the land and the heavy taxes forced upon the people. Xhaffington just laughed at his son while sipping the finest wine out of a peasant SKULL. In a fit of rage, Triborius left the kingdom, vowing to free the land from his father’s tyrannical rule.

And so Triborius set out, searching for allies who would join his cause and take up arms against his father. He walked for many miles into unknown country, and grew very tired. And so he found a nearby oak tree and rest his head against the trunk. But as soon as his eyes began to close shut, an eerie howl echoed from the base of the tree. Triborius jumped up in shock and drew his deadly scrap metal trash sword. Suddenly from the ground rose up a frightful GHOST! Triborius froze in terror, but the ghost began to speak to him.

“My name is L. Samuel, I was publicly beheaded by the horrible Lord Xhaffington. I plea with you to help me find rest in the afterlife by fulfilling my revenge against the King.” At this statement, Triborius lowered his guard and explained his situation to the ghost. In his delight the beheaded ghost Samuel swore to help him on his quest in any way he could.

So Triborius and the ghost Samuel joined together to find more to recruit to their cause. They traveled far into a dense forest, until they were sure to have lost their way. They scrambled about in the woods aimlessly trying to find a way out, when they happened across a small cottage. Inside was a middle age china man sipping tea.

“Welcome to my home.” said the china man “My name is JACKIE CHAN, and I am an expert martial artist. How may I help you?” Triborius and the ghost knew a martial artist would come in useful, so they asked him if he would join them on their quest. Jackie Chan smiled and said “I would love to help, but unfortunately I am in need of a weapon to use. In addition to my skills with unarmed combat, I also am a skilled stunt man, and can use even basic household items as weapons. So, if you would find me a ladder from a LADDER FACTORY, I could use the ladders as both amazing and comedic impromptu weapons against your father’s army.” And so the ghost and Triborius set out to find a ladder from a ladder factory to give to Jackie Chan.

After Following Jackie Chan’s directions, Triborius and the ghost found a Ladder factory and brought a tall and sturdy ladder back to Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan was delighted, and told them “To thank you for finding a ladder for me I shall help you in your quest.” And so confident in their numbers, Triborius and friends journeyed back to the land of Xhafftopia, to the city of Xhaff.

They arrived back in the city on a cold and dreary HALLOWEEN night, and Lord Xhaffington was waiting for them with an army of ZOMBIES and RAPISTS, ensuring that they would be both eaten and violated simultaneously. Lord Xhaffington was pretty sick that way.

And so the battle began! L. Samuel’s ghost floated through the battlefield, possessing the rapists to slice off their own heads, while Jackie Chan was balancing on the ladder and flinging it around to pulverize the zombie horde. Triborius fought his way through his father’s armies to confront his father Lord Xhaffington once and for all. His father laughed and mounted his giant pink rabbit while unsheathing his legendary balloon animal sword. Triborius charged angrily toward his father with his scrap metal sword, and an epic battle began between them.

After hours of battle, rapists and zombies littered the battlefield, but Triborius and Xhaffington were still locked in combat. Triborius suddenly tripped on a rock and fell flat on his face, his father stood over him laughing with his sword at his son’s neck. All hope seemed lost, when suddenly all the peasants from the village charged out of the darkness flinging trash at Xhaffington. Xhaffington cried out as he was slowly buried alive under a giant mound of trash. The village cheered in joy as Triborius stood gloriously on top of the mound of trash, proclaiming to the village that their suffering was over! Jackie Chan wept tears of happiness, and L. Samuel floated off to the heavens, finally at peace. And so they all lived happily ever after. The End.

Superior Hannah Face: dyke/10

Once upon a time there was a stripper named LuLu. She had big blue eyes, long blond hair and tits the size of pineapples. On Halloween night, she was walking home from her shift at the Ladder Factory. She had thrown back a few too many Skull Rapists (a new kind of shot the club was serving), which influenced her decision to take the shortcut through the alley between Bob’s Pawn and Lawn and the crack shacks. She was stumbling down the alley smoking a Newport when she noticed a mysterious figure shuffling about, like a zombie. Startled, she immediately ducked behind a nearby garbage can. She peered out from her hiding place and, terrified, realized that the figure was coming closer. Had it seen her? Emboldened by liquor, she jumped up and yelled, “HEY! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER, a*****e! I’VE GOT MOVES LIKE JACKIE ******** CHAN!!” and hurled the garbage can in its general direction. She missed by a good meter, and turned to run away, but accidentally tripped on her 8 inch stripper stiletto and fell face first into the pavement, knocking herself unconscious.
The next morning, her body was discovered by a local homeless crackhead named Xhaff “One-Eye” Xhafferson. It was a gruesome sight. She had been stripped from head to heel and her long, blond hair was streaked with her own blood. Her pretty blue eyes had been ripped from their sockets and it appeared that she had been raped in every orifice, a magnum condom was later found stuck inside her parietal lobe. To this day, the killer the media dubbed “The Skull Rapist of Spinner Street” has never been found, though the head bartender at the Ladder Factory, a shifty eyed man named Larry, was detained for questioning numerous times throughout the investigation. Police were suspicious that a women taking shots called “Skull Rapists” from 8 to 4 in the morning was found dead less than 3 hours later with gaping, bloody holes where her eyes and ears and mouth and nose had been, but without further evidence pinning him to the crime, he was released. You can still find Larry working at the Ladder Factory, though since the investigation he’s never been quite the same. He still has the same shifty eyes, but he has the look of a man who doesn’t get much sleep at night, and he’s always looking over his shoulder, like he’s looking for someone watching him. Some say he’s gone mad with fear that he’ll be wrongfully imprisoned for an unfortunate case of irony. Others say he’s been in the business too long, that he’s seen too many good girls go down the wrong path. But in my drug addled wanderings, I, One –Eye Xhafferson, have found the truth. If you don’t want to be a suspect, report the crime. Bwahahaha!