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 Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:21 pm
Ever since I was young I've had to manage them on my own, including the two times I was on the brink of ending it all(one involved a knife pointed at my chest, and the other a bridge late at night). I know about the hotlines and such and have wonderful friends to help me through these rough patches when they can, but aside from that I've been pushing myself to live on and live strong, especially the times when my family makes me feel like there's no point in my existance and drag me into such a dark emotional place, it feels like there's no light.
I can't say the thoughts have ever fully gone away, even now, when I've gained so much wisdom on what it means to serve others and live well, but I've gotten much better at not letting them influence what I do as a person. Because of this and my personal support group, I feel I've become much stronger as an individual and able to establish my own grind to make my life, my way.
There's a lot more growing left for me to do, no doubt about it, but I'm certain that these thoughts will never have a place in my life and I refuse to allow them to hold any sway over me.
What about the rest of you? How to do manage to live on, when it feels like there isn't a reason to?
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:33 pm
The best way I cope is to force myself to find something that is worth living for. To search for that reason. When I'm not depressed and like that, I know there is always a reason not to so I remember when I'm upset to find it.
It distracts me and then I find that reason. My reason is my babies. They need their mama.
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:08 am
When I was at that point a couple of years ago, I thought of my family and the effects that my suicide would have on them. I got through it by talking to my online friends, who were my main source of support at the time.
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:57 am
I've been the same way for awhile and just one day.. all the thoughts and what not stopped. My relapsing experiences get less and less each time they occur. My guess is my hormones are calming down finally, I'm only 19. The funny thing is, I still have no reason to really live, but I do it anyways.
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:44 pm
it makes me feel better knowing im not the only one that has considered it. it's a very touchy subject and i know life is hard but we all go on... in some way or another
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