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 Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:17 pm
No, it's not about this guild. I like it here.
It's about my biggest problem, and now my mom knows.
I'm in love with someone who is 6 years older than me, but I'm conviced he's the one. My mother found out (somehow) and she begs to differ, if only because of our age difference! I'm pissed! And now she wants me to stay away from him... crying
Should I continue to text him and speak to him in private?
Or should I leave it all alone?
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:33 pm
Well, how old are you hun?
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Bang Bang Kitty Lincon Crew
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 3:33 am
Well there is 10 years difference between me and my partner (and I've know a few couples like that) and we've been together for over three years!
But I'm in my 20's, so the age difference is not so great if you get me, once youleave your teens it becomes less significant.
So yeah how old are you?
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 3:30 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 3:38 pm
At 16 it's a pretty big age difference, as you two are in such different levels of development.
I'd take your moms advice and just lay low until you're older. If he's the one, nothing will stop you two from being together.
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:12 am
As you are still rather young it might be best to keep it platonic at least for a few more years.
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Bang Bang Kitty Lincon Crew
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:48 am
bicanthrope At 16 it's a pretty big age difference, as you two are in such different levels of development. I'd take your moms advice and just lay low until you're older. If he's the one, nothing will stop you two from being together. THIS
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:52 am
Your still at an age where being with this guy could get him in trouble, depending on the age of consent laws in your state.
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 6:34 pm
Valiant_Moon Your still at an age where being with this guy could get him in trouble, depending on the age of consent laws in your state. He lives 2000 miles away from me, and Texas law considers a 17 year old an adult, from what I know... but I'm 16! And even with the distance, I feel like I'm supposed to be with him.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:20 am
Now I'm going to tell you what you don't want to hear.
At 16, all emotion is really intense. Hormones do that to you. If you don't think that's true, it's because you don't know yet what it feels like when those hormones start leveling out. Yes, some end up that way for a long time, but it's because they don't mature the way they should. Every one develops at their own speed. Right now, your body is still working things out, and trying to understand it's self.
Let's do the math:
16 year old girl
plus 6=
22 year old guy
At 22 a guy is normally in college. If he's not in college, then he should be living on his own and working. His friends should be in his age group, or slightly older. The things he has an interest in right now will not over lap a great deal with your interests. Sure, he might like the same music, or think you are cute and funny, but what about other things?
I'm left to wonder about his maturity. Did he develop correctly and move on to like women in his current age group? Or did he end up being in that small percentile of men who end up still wanting teenage girls? Those are scare thoughts, and I'm sure you are telling your screen right now that I don't know what I'm talking about. In 5 years, you will hate that you will be agreeing with me.
Here is another thing to think about; could you hang out with his friends? Could he hang out with yours? The likely answer is NO. Because he's going to be called a creep by your friends, and his buddies are going to tell him to ditch the kid.
Could you be with him in a few years if you just wait? Sure, but you might not want to. What we want at 15, 16 is VERY different than what we want at 18,20 and then it continues to change as the years go on. I seriously didn't think it would have changed between 26 and 30, but it did. For all of us, it did.
This is why most teen marriages don't last. Unless those young ones learn to grow together and be accepting of their changes, then they can't make it work. People who start out at your age with someone older either ends up in a bad situation, has a major dramatic break up, or worse. Sure, there are a very small percentage of people whom it worked out for. Those ones were way ahead on maturity.
You haven't given us much to go on, other than the numbers. I'll tell you what rule has served me well in my life: If you have to ask, then the answer is no.
Listen to your mom. She loves you and she's been there. You may thing she couldn't possibly understand, but she can.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:49 pm
White_crow2408 Valiant_Moon Your still at an age where being with this guy could get him in trouble, depending on the age of consent laws in your state. He lives 2000 miles away from me, and Texas law considers a 17 year old an adult, from what I know... but I'm 16! And even with the distance, I feel like I'm supposed to be with him. Either way, your a minor. He could get in SERIOUS trouble for this.
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