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 Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 3:39 pm
Can someone say rushed, crappy ending? Also this was going to have chapters but I said screw it and ended it. It was also going to be a rewrite of WHtD.
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Things change. We will not always be the happy family we have been thus far, and we're probably not going to be together forever. Something always rips us apart.
I silently chopped the mushrooms while the others waited in the living room for me to call them to dinner. I never let myself get too attached to them, really. I knew that eventually it would end up like every other 'family' I'd been a part of.
Pushing the negative thoughts away, I forced myself to be positive and remember the happy times. My mother and father would buy me ice cream, and we'd go see movies together. The ones who took care of me after my mother and father passed would help me with my homework and teach me how to cook.
The mushrooms slid into the pan and I turned up the heat. In a minute, they would be the perfect side dish.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that I was being watched. However, I didn't realize he was there until he spoke.
"Middy, what would you do if I left?" His voice held no emotion. It sent chills down my spine when he spoke in monotone like that, but I turned around to face him.
"You'd never really leave, would you, Xauc? Don't even think such silly things," I laughed, refusing to make eye contact. It was more that he intimidated me than anything else.
Smiling uneasily, he replied. "No. Of course not. I was just asking."
I thought for a moment. What would i do if Xauc left? "Well, if you left the Organization, I'd take your head myself. If you simply left me and the rest of us in thei house, well, I can't say life would be affected that much. After all, nothing in constant."
He smiled. "That's my exact outlook, too. So, what're you cooking?"
"Mushrooms. Dinner in ten," I replied, returning to my work.
"Smells good. Well, I think I'll go bug Vyral," he said, walking away.
It may not be certain, and things could change at any time, but I found it to be a comforting thought to know that he wouldn't leave. It certainly boosted my optimism.
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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 4:57 pm
I know this was posted a long time ago, but I felt bad there wasn't any response to it. So, here I am, a little while later. :]
Dang, all I can think directly after finishing it once is: If you ever have downtime and feel an inexplicable need to return to this very piece, please un-rush and un-crappify the ending. I can tell the ending is so out of place with what you would be able to do if you took some more time on it! And I would want to read that, too.
This seems like one of those pieces where the characters are really important, really central, to the life of the work, so I like the way that everything which is not dialogue reveal something about one or a few of the characters.
I'm sorry I can't say much else; it's rather short. Overall, I liked it (until the ending ;] ).
-Chi
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