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Tags: writing, crystalbow, authors, writers, poetry 

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Yet another idea...Please critique!

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Crystalbow
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:32 pm


Yes, I know I have too many floods of ideas. Very few of them ever actually make it onto the list of ideas I'm going to pursue. This one hit me all at once, so bear with me and the many many flaws.

The balance between whether Life or Death has a dominant hold in the world is very delicate. Like the baby boom in the 50's (when Life had dominance) or like now with the starvation and diseases (when Death has dominance), it can always change. There is a dream world of with no color, where everything is black and white (except two things), called Limbo, originally thought to be the first ring of hell. In fact, it is not. It is the median between heaven and hell. It is like an island, but the cliffs go so far down into white mist that you can't see anything down there. It has plenty of different landscapes, but is long and thin. On each side, there is a set of bare cliffs with a single dead tree at each end, both leaning over the edge facing away. There is a large forest made of dead aspens in the center of this land, except in the very very middle, there is a single oak tree which serves as the border between Life and Death. This land has no weather, except for snow and lightning. Skies are always gray and there is no sun. There is no day or night. The moon will rise, but will not glow unless Life has dominance. There are many pathways in Limbo that lead to other spirit realms that never close.

On the west side of this tree, Death himself and his daughter Tirai have control over the territory. On the east side of this tree, two angels, brother and sister, named Alice and Den, lay claim to the land. Amongst the center is a neutral colony of snowshoe rabbits (yes, they can talk. They're spirits) that promote sharing of dominance, giving Life and Death equal power. Both Death and Alice/Den have three different companions, animal spirits that live with them. Alice and Den are accompanied by the dragon Shade, who does not speak, the black winged wolf Darkov, and the tiger Rakar, whose eyes are actually a striking blue, one of the two things that have color in Limbo. Death and Tirai (whose eyes are red, the other thing that has color) are accompanied by the stallion Nam, the white winged wolf Mira, and the young white wolf cub (no wings) named Ska, who also does not speak. Mira and Darkov are siblings, which did spark some bloody fights between Death and Den, who is older than Alice.

This story is about two siblings named Roy and Annabelle (they are wolves, yes) who fall asleep one evening as they normally do and find themselves in Limbo. Then, the gates to and from Limbo, in the concerns of the living world, close because of a serious imbalance. Life cannot have dominance without Den, for both Den and Alice must be in their territory for it to be possible, and vice versa with Death and Tirai. Den is missing, and Alice has good cause to believe that Den did not go through a pathway to another spirit realm. However, if she leaves her territory, it will be destroyed and Life will never have dominance in the world, and she is very hesitant to send out any of her companions. Instead, she senses something with Annabelle (can't say what) and asks Roy and Annabelle to go and search for her brother.

Accompanied by Rakar, Darkov, and Shade, Roy and Annabelle begin their search and battle for Den, to banish Death from the living world and give Life a chance. I'm hesitant to say much more for fear of giving anything away. If anyone still read to this point, please critique!
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 4:29 am


I really like this idea, but since it's not in story form I can't really find a way to critique it effectively. I must say it's rather interesting, but my one question is – why wolves? Just wondering. 3nodding

Zaviire

Neophyte Raider


EstoPerpetua
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:29 am


Intriguing. It definitely has promise, it just seems so.... complex. It'll take a lot of writing to make it complete. Either that or it won't take a lot and will be a plotless mass of words that gives me a headache since you would have to cram everything together to make sense.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:46 pm


I know this is still very imperfect, but I aim to simplify it. I picked wolves for a reason that is explained in the book.

Crystalbow
Captain

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The Subforum That Isn't Related to the Guild Name! *gasp*

 
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