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 Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:12 pm
To be honest, I've had a few things in my life that have been going on that have been difficult to get through so I guess that would be why I wrote this poem...Its Free-form poetry...
Half-Full (Romans 3:23)
My Lord,
The world has beaten me down,
Fill me with Your presence,
So I may see the glass half-full.
Show me beauty in Your world.
Give me peace in times of trouble.
It is Your comfort I seek.
Show me mercy when I have sinned.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."
I love you for you know me better than I know myself.
Please give me strength to carry on when I see no hope.
Strengthen my Faith and Teach me to rely on You.
Please allow a sinner like me to walk with You daily.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:21 pm
I love it! Poetry inspired by the Spirit is always great to read!
Some critiques, though. You have placed commas where they don't belong. For example:
"My Lord,
The world has beaten me down,
Fill me with Your presence,
So I may see the glass half-full."
The correct way to write this grammatically would be:
"My Lord,
The world has beaten me down.
Fill me with You presence
So I may see the glass half-full."
Consider adding "as" before half-full so it reads "glass as half-full". That might make it sound better. Might.
Also, this line:
"I love you for you know me better than I know myself"
You need to add a comma.
"I love you, for you know me better than I know myself."
Great poem! I love it!
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:49 pm
Thank you...I'll work on punctuation and things along that line sweatdrop
I normally write in Haikus as you saw in Mist, so its something that I'll work on...
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