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Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:46 pm
DRAGON QUEST 1 & 2  The games that started what would be known as the first actual RPG in the world. Although I am not playing the original Warrior versions of the two, rather the remakes. Now, the first one is rather small compared to the second one, but it still is a great game nonetheless, its plot is rather simple: save the Princess and save the world. Dragon Quest II story-wise is defeat the evil priest who is going to revive a fallen God. Not going to say these are the best stories in the world, but given the time period (late 80s) they will suffice. With that in place, let us begin our journey into the roots of such a magnificent series!
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 8:37 am
Nifty.
I'm sure you'll find a way to liven things up. At the very least, I'm sure Princess Moonbrooke is an easy target.
And good luck in the Cave to Rhone.
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ThePersonInFrontOfYou Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 12:38 pm
Chapter I: Because Apparently the Soldiers Stationed Throughout Tantegel Are Just For Show  Aight, how I will begin most of my LP's with ROM hacking credits: giving credits to them because I'm not a p***k.  This was before the time when the logos of the game were like a ten second animation.  But anyway: we begin! (finally) For consistent canon story sake, I'll start with I, then go to the hell of II.  None of this "Dragon Warrior" BS, we're in Quest territory now. cool   PS: I am an unoriginal b*****d who names the heroes after myself, YOU LOVE IT! mad   Unfortunately, he does not have access to the Hero class, not can Mister Kang cheese his respective game with a Boomerang, but give him credit: this IS going to be a solo quest!  Furthermore, he's a chump who is doing this completely out of sake of charity. The king is a p***k and is only here to save the game, and drag Kang's inevitable, bloodied corpse out of a dungeon and take half his gold in the process.  There is also unnecessary pluralization in the prologue in this game.  Arming a team with Boomerangs* =/= Ball of Light. Using the Ball of Light at the last moment to change the final boss's colour palate to be less intimidating? Yes. *A hit all weapon that appears in III and then on, which is also a downright cheap war tactic in the Dragon Quest series  How and why, seeing as Roto apparently defeated every evil in Alefgard? We'll never know.  You never guess what this game is going to be 80% about! Until some bored kids accidentally find the shards for this land in an overly convenient fishing voyage and restore it. Kind of guy who gets straight down to business, eh? Who do you suppose the royalty marries? I mean, there is only one royal family in Alefgard.  On the bright side of things, at least he semi half assed sends the hero on his way with the cheapest things he can scrounge up in the castle!  Most of it is for people who fail to read the manual, or have absolutely no knowledge of RPGs what so ever.  I hope you're not one for dialogue in video games, as this was the longest conversation between two people in this game.  Anyone who is new to the game/series, the Dragon Quest series has this thing, right? Where they give you like 8g at a time, yet charge 1,100g for the shittiest armour, and like 30,000g for the best. This ain't yo' mama's Final Fantasy where you can buy x99 Mythril Swords as soon as you start, this is Dragon Quest city. cool  What?! How could this be?! The Torches (see: the only Dragon Quest that has them) are pretty amazing in this version, as they last forever. No more being stuck at floor four of the Rock Cave with no MP alone in the darkness!  Unfortunately, however, the keys in this game expire after one use, so one can't raid the castle treasury until you get the chance to buy them, which won't be for some time.  Who I shall call Gwaelin for Warrior consistency.  While there are rumours of a second daughter who lives in the cellar of the castle, we're talking BELOVED daughters here.  Before then, she wasn't really on talking terms. I sure do hope this doesn't become a theme in video games~ Oh well, what can you do? I'm sure the issue will resolve itself someho-  GODDAMN! We already have a Dragon Lord to fight, yet alone demons!  Welp, there goes our Magic Key. Philosophical question: How does the king go to work everyday? Furthermore, how much money do you think Tantegel Castle spends on their "locking the king into the throne room budget"?  This no doubt becomes a theme in Dragon Quest: "c**k tease the player by showing an orgy of treasures at the beginning of the game that cannot be obtained until latter half of the game" They push it further in VII by not allowing the player to obtain them until post Endgame.  Which = save point, which is the ONLY save point in the game: talking to the King. This ain't no pansy JRPG where you have access to save points before every boss, this is Dragon Quest city. cool  That being said, with the lack of pansy save points in dungeons, and millions of monsters every second step, dungeon crawling is a b***h in Dragon Quest I & II. Fortunately however, game overs don't reset the game! Just take half your gold..  The SFC version (and GB version, if I heard correctly) now have the typical tradition of pot/drawer raiding implemented in, as before (see, the NES version) there was no such thing yet.  This guy is quite famous throughout the fanbase for trivializing the usage of the Inn when the hero learns the Heal spell, as he restores your MP. I'm sure one can put 2 + 2 together.  The nobles of this castle also see it fit to lock themselves into the second half of the castle, which will not be accessible until the hero finds some Magic Keys so he can harass them with his mitch-match armour, cheap sword, and general low class-ness.  Anyway, leaving through the main gate is too mainstream, Kang has been going through the back entrance before it became a make out point! Next Chapter: Being popular with the woman, being Dragon Quest'd shop-wise, harassing of citizens, and the start of the grind-fest!
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 10:41 pm
Chapter II: Why Is the Path to Brecconary So Slimy?!  Uh, wrong map, that's the one I use to get home..  Here we are! We are stationed towards the north-west, look around, you'll find the two castles and village before long.  I know, it's going to be a long journey to the next town. I'm sure the hero packed the two Herbs he got in Tantegel and was conserving them for this very moment.   However, misfortune manages to strike the hero, and he gets into a battle in the whole four steps to Brecconary. Not much to explain to Dragon Quest's battle system, no fancy EX Gauge, ATB crap, or anything dumb like that, just attack, and attack. Of course, spells do come to play later, but the only spell really needed is the healing ones, for obvious reasons, and StopSpell for its interestingly high success rate.   Before long (see: two hits later), success!  These guys can die in one hit, and are the lucky mascot to the series!   Okay, maybe I directed the hero to the village with a route more than four steps.. To make up for the lack of allies, Kang has some pretty amazing level ups.   After finally managing to get here, after getting lost and doing complex Polymathematical equations to find it, the hero finally makes it to town town. Which shall be called Brecconary for Warrior purist purposes.  Being a simple game, the enemies get stronger as you pass bridges. So no, little horse, the grass is most definitely NOT greener on the other side. Unless you're one of those grinder people.  Where were you back in 1989?!  Unless you take some crazy button mash route through the swamp, it's only -1, and not really a big deal.  Welp Mr. "Swamps Kill Me (somehow)", you won't be needing this any more, now will you? It sends the hero back to Tantegel, but even better: can be sold for 12g. emotion_awesome  But apparently, Brecconary really only went through the effort to salvage one corpse.  And you never guess who is now magically the head of the new one person party?  We also talk to him over and over, just so we can revel in his groaning of pain, yet make no effort to give him an Herb or something.  This man must be older than my dog, which we will soon find out in the later entries to the series.  Rule #1 in RPG: if it's named, then we get sooner or later.  This pisses Kang off so much, that literally, the latter half of the game is basically about proving this p***k wrong.  Yes Kang, because the princess was kidnapped and then dropped off in a village four steps from Tantegel.  Sadly, there will be no woman mages in our team, or anyone but Kang.  One can only wish. sad  Welp, let's fight some more Slimes for that sword! Next Chapter- Tomb Raider, only without sexy Lara, and I raid a bigger city, hooray!
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 6:07 pm
Chapter III: Well, someone's not into keeping tradition..(I'mma work all out on this now, I want to finish everything up to VI before it gets released in NA, although I may not be able to get up to VI in time..)  So, back where he left off, out hero was leaving the castle to go raid Roto's tomb.  Who knew it would be twelve steps away from the castle? And random spawning deserts in the middle of lush fields, where else but Dragon Quest? heart   Wait, wuh..?  Oh yes.. best part is, the torch lasts 10X longer than in Warrior.  Might not be God's light bright, but t'will suffice my friend..  Well, these torches obviously aren't doing their job. mad   Ooh, look Roto! Only, where's the proof?..  Which is basically what the second half of the game is, we're about quarter way through.. and with absolutly nothing here except for a tomb that states the obvious, we head outta here, thanks for wasting my time, random enemiless dungeon. mad  We were just there I'll have you know.. stare   He plays the standard curse lick by the way and Garai was some gross man who played a harp that summon enemy attacks. D:  Happens all the time broski, I ain't complainin'. mad   So, with raiding two places to no avail, we head the only way which isn't swarmed in enemies that can make the above song appear with ease, we head east.  After wondering like a minstrel, we end up in a forest town, oh goodie.  I will call it Kol from now on for tradition sake, sheesh, the translators need to play Dragon Warrior. mad  Costco probably sells them in bulk, check them out!   And just cause I'm a nerd, I pick this up before I'm actually supposed to get it, AND YOU'RE WELCOME FOR ANSWERING HALF QUESTION #6 IN THE APPLICATION FORM. The other half will be revealed later.  Eh, why not, little girls need the 20G for Justin Beiber stickers and hair clips.  WAIT.  GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF! gonk Ooh, furry.  Awright, and as Dragon Quest IX once told me- OH, HEY LOOK! A SHEEP!  Whilst you were looking for that sheep, I went on a little shopping spree.  ..and gained a couple levels..  Oh, it's so nice to see a Princess get along with a dragon so well, you show those stereotypes who's boss, Laura! **NEXT CHAPTER- More cities, dungeon crawling in an actual dungeon with monsters, treasure hunting and perhaps Laura savin'.
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:45 pm
Chapter IV: A Fourceful MarriageOh dear, I just found out that Snes9X has a screenshot button built in so I don't have to press Print Screen, open a Paint program, paste it, edit it and name it, all I have to do is press F12. -_-  Past the cave with the Princess and dragon drinking tea lies this pretty little place.  Good try kid. mad  Well, don't I just stick out like a sore thumb? D<  Oh, whoops, have fun changing for the rest of the game! redface  I am his Grandson and all, or are we just the only Indonesians in this entire series? D:  Way to reference Dragon Quest III, dickwad, and I'll have you know, he fell down a hole. mad  Ultimate lulz right there. heart  Apart from taking up precious inventory space, no one has actually decided what it actually does, so being completionists, we set out to find this trivial ring.  Really? Who keeps these things in their sock drawers? mad  You wish she said Hell in the American release. <3  It gets way better than just "Hell" baby. cool  For telling him he's an idiot and is meeting in the wrong place, he tells us how to get the Fairy Flute which I've already gotten and played like a bajillion times already, IT SOUNDS SO PRETTYYYYY! heart  Finally! In this game, you can only hold six at a time God forbid actually needing six Magic Keys anyway..  Seven would just be silly anyway, good day sir!  I think you guys need to lay off the "E". mad  So, with nothing else left, we go all the way back west and traverse a bridge we ignored because the enemies could totally wreck us at the time.   Shortly after, we find a cave just conveniently placed past the bridge.   Red carpet for a treasure? My Important Item sense is tingling!  Meh, but at least we got this cryptic ring to waste an inventory slot space!  After getting the ring, we walk across the country to the cave in the east to take on this dragon deal.  Some of you Dragon Warrior fans may be going "OH SHI-" but this is the remix, I had tougher times with a Slime than this thing in the remix. D<  Fantastic Moves and over obsessive healing to the rescue!  You sneaky woman! What a double life you live!  You'd like that, wouldn't you? mad  Walk yourself, I'm too busy. D<  She repeats this over and over if you say no, she apparently thinks she's Princess Zelda, so with no choice, I'm left to rescue her..  Greatest shield ever! 4laugh   What have I gotten myself into? gonk  Well, that's a fourceful marriage I gotten into. mad  And yes, you actually carry her God forbid being too much to walk the whole twenty steps to her castle.  So, how does the hero still manage to fight? D: **NEXT CHAPTER- We carry this vile creature home and everybody is all happy that she basically made me marry her. D< I haven't seen such a fourceful woman since Debora. mad
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:10 pm
I was really bored last night and really excited about this whole F12 sort of deal, so I went on to beat the first game entirely, I'll still divide it into chapters just in case people take breaks after reading a chapter. Chapter V: DAMN IT LAURA, I'M TOO BUSY TO PUT UP WITH YOU! So, the trip back was pretty fun, you know, hurling her at Slimes and walking in poison swamps with her.  Hopefully, he'll give me gold in exchange for never seeing her again. mad  What is this, France? Or France, this is what? D:  Take her for me plzkthx, my arms are about to give out. D<  Now she's just embarrassing me. mad  Oh. Dear. God. gonk  She's just a wee bit obsessive. D: -runs away-  OH FOR GOD SAKES, REALLY WOMAN? mad  I just met you in a cave like three minutes ago, luckily she doesn't loop the question over and over, more or less sulks back to her throne. 4laugh  Lulz, so the next thing we do is deposit her creepy love in the vault and not look at it ever raid the castle treasury.  I'm sorry, what did you say?  I think my fingers slipped.  I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO HEAR HIM FROM ALL THIS TREASURE OPENING! heart  The King is sure a mighty fine man to let the guard let me raid this room..  Only? Tantegel must be suffering an economical upheaval..  Ooh, random cellar outside of the castle, I like where this is going..  Treasure on a pedestal? Getting hot...  What good is a bag of bright marbles? mad  Yay, an item that we won't use until near Endgame!  I would be too if I guarded a treasure for hundreds of years.. **NEXT CHAPTER- Magic Keys baby! Time to unlock some places and wreck more tombs and prepare for Endgame which isn't too far away..
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:48 pm
Chapter VI: What kind of Magic Key to use?Apart from my The Labyrinth reference which I'm sure you all got, we shall press on with opening doors, getting more Endgame key items and dungeon crawling!  First thing's first, remember in Garai's town how half of it was locked? We totally get to raid it now. cool  Way ahead of you, homeslice.  Wow, I am dorky to remember secret passages and whatnot..  Thank you, ominous voice, I need one of those for my room..   So, as usual, the dungeon is a simple find the stairs and one hit all the enemies as you go, Warrior is tenfold harder, but the remix is all worth it for the orchestral music and pretty graphics. heart   After we jack Garai's harp, we get outta here, I just realized that Torches are unlimited uses in this game, efffffffffffff. D:  When I die, I totally want a four level tomb. cool  Hello random Monolith, time to pawn off this harp.  Been there, done that bro'.  You're welcome. mad  Apparently, there's only one Silver Harp in the world and this man wants it, I don't blame him, I want a harp. : (  Snazzy, to the vault with ye, I shall set thy eyes on your staveness upon neigh-completion!  So, with nothing left to do, we go explore more of the south-western part of the world.  Ooh, what a lively town, sure has improved since last time Roto came through here!  But the real reason/I'm a dork for remembering is for this little patch of grass..  Which is conveniently guarded by an Endgame beast, oh the joy!  But this is the remix so with Gold Golem stalking, I managed to obtain the over-priced amazing armour.  Hello +1 HP regain per step/no more terrain damage and goodbye game difficulty!  In this area, I'm sure you should all be familiar with these babies.  A little further, and we end up in this nelly of a town.. **NEXT CHAPTER- We get to raid this town, after we complete a certain event of course, the second half of question #6 in the application for is answered and Endgame already draws near!
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:03 pm
Chapter VII: Why Cantlin has Crappy Tourist NumbersSorry for the long time for this chapter, it took me awhile to think of a sassy name for it, which I totally did, I'm proud of me. D<  Real nice of you, Cantlin. :/ But no worries, we have this mad Mother to play and put it asleep for the whole battle.  A few hacks and slashes later..  Which I will call Cantlin if I ever reference this place again. mad  Or Dragonlord, the whore who stole the Ball of Light and hid it somewhere for shits and giggles.  This isn't Final Fantasy, we don't have room to hold non important items. D<  Yeah.. you might want to look into getting a gate too, there's a big golem right in front of your town. mad  I like how you can jump off this house and make it look like you're falling from the sky. 4laugh  Our very last item upgrade ever..  Oh shi- I just found this qt as a major boss. gonk  "To the southeast of Cantlin past the slimmest area of the swamp and six steps east lies the Token" That's how I always remember where this is. >.<  Just finishin' up some important events before Endgame here..  Thank you for doubting me at first, a*****e. mad  Somehow I still feel empty even after showing off my bling. emo  Showing off my bling to some random guy in the south-eastern peninsula earns me this wonderful awkward scene..  YOU ALL JUST TAKE THESE LEGENDS TOO SERIOUSLY!  Wuh?  Okay, so I'm too skeptical, but rainbows! We all like em'!  And with the last important item in stock, we head to Endgame, DUN DUN DUN...  You are about to see how the 80s solved problems..   DRUG OVERDOSE, OH SHI-! **NEXT CHAPTER- We do something which creates something and we climb a mountain and enter an ominous castle, fun fun..
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:49 pm
Chapter VIII: A Lazy Child and a Dragonlord, that's all!Oopslol, I fell asleep like at 2am which I am proud of, these all nighters I pull randomly are slowly dying, and because I'm Canadian that way, I won't be here this coming weekend due to our Thanksgiving Day being this weekend. D:  Apparently, our Hero is too lazy to just take half a step across the beach to get to the other side, so he just summons a rainbow, makes a bridge and crosses it, yup, sounds like something I'd do.  After climbing a hospitable mountain equipped with stairs and the works, we finally get to enter Charlock Castle (ie: the final dungeon that you can see from where you first start the game.)  Once again, the nerd instinct goes off and I know where to go.  We should all be used to being plunged into oubliettes by now..  I enjoy Charlock Castle in this one, it's less scary than when I was a kid and played Warrior and died from the first encounter in here. gonk Anyway, with this baby in my hand, I can pretty much just hack my way through this blowhole.  I see Sidious has a new apprentice now..   Lolwut, somehow, we went from a dungeon to make The Oubliette from Dragon Quest IX look like Celestria's flower garden to a completely illuminated world. D:  YEAH, THANKS, WAY TO MOCK ME AND GIVE OUT ALL THE GOLD IN THE WORLD RIGHT AT ENDGAME. mad  *Dragonlord* last seen in my latest grotto Legacy Boss hunting.  I must say, the place doesn't look as good as it did on the pamphlet..  I call Kol and Cantlin!  Wait.. I can just kill you and have the whole world instead of half. 4laugh  Papa doesn't want a taste of the dis honey, he wants the whole beehive. heart  What a stubborn man. mad  WHY CAN'T WE JUST ALL LIVE IN PEACEEEEE? gonk  Oh yeah, cause I'm going to kill an old man to conquer the world, I nearly forgot. 4laugh  Apart from that one guy said way back in Cantlin, this guy is silly, Brey had a better time fighting melee-wise than this man. D<  Sure enough, three turns later..  Why thank you, I think I will. 3nodding -turns to leave-   WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING THE EASY WAY, CAN WE?! mad **NEXT CHAPTER- Tune in for the exciting conclusion!
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:56 pm
Chapter IX: The Easy Way as well as Fourceful Adventures Right, so where we left off, the Dragonlord turned into a big freaking demon, much like 90% of the Breath of Fire Bosses.  I can't really talk about how hard the fight was, since it was more of a question of him looping fireballs at me over and over and healing every now and then, but it was a rather long fight. -__-  MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DRAGON KING OR DRAGON LORD? mad Ooh, shiny orb!  hangonbrblol  k. YAY LOL. heart  Oh cute, now Charlock Castle looks a little more inviting and fruity than that silly Tantegel down there.  WARP SPELL ACTIVATE!  Yeah, get out of the way now, I want to gloat about this to that Sunlight Stone man. mad  As obscene as always, kay, am I playing a Dejap patch or something? D<  It wasn't that great, it was like carrying a Metal King Slime, only more heavier. gonk  You're welcome, boost my ego like everyone else, old man as well as heal my MP.  News sure does travel fast..  Where is it? Oh...  Didn't we hear this before? confused  omgyesplz. 4laugh  WHAT?! mad  I NEVER DO THAT!  Yeah.. remind me next time to save the world when I'm not tipsy.  Do I at least win anything for apparently being passive? D:  I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND LISTEN TO MY MUSICCCCC!  s**t.  OH NO YOU DON'T. mad  There will be no Princesses in my new quest of world dominance! D<  But she pulls another Princess Zelda and loops it..  No funny business or I'll leave you in a gas station. D<  Well, isn't everyone bossy pricks? mad   ..This is going to be more fun than when my cousin threw me into a glass table..  I think we should all salute Toriyama, he's been with Dragon Quest since day one.  As well as Sugiyama, his music will forever grace my iPod. heart  But not really.. **NEXT CHAPTER- we turn the clock 100 years later and see what a trash heap Laura made out of me/the world and our children that she raped me for. gonk
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:32 pm
I was a king once!
But it was really boring. I quit after, like, five minutes. Romaly is smelly anyway. I think you'll make a better king then me.
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ThePersonInFrontOfYou Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Chapter X: Poor, Poor Me..The good part is I now take advantage of the F12 to get business done at a rapid speed, the bad part is I sometimes delete bad screenshots and the next screenshot takes the number of the one I delete and it mixes my pictures up. D:  Well, this Dragon Quest is by far bigger than the other one, but also more complex and tenfold difficult, but that just adds fun, eh?  So begins Part II, hold on to the bars kids, this roller coaster is about to do a flip. mad  Crap.. the hardest part in any video game. gonk  DON'T LAUGH AT MY TERRIBLE CREATIVITY, WHEN I GET MARRIED (probably Laura-wise knowing me) I'LL LEAVE HER TO NAME ALL THE KIDS. mad  And apparently now we're watching The Simpsons..  Any minute now, Homer is going to get out of his car and immediately be pursued by another one..  I guess not and yay, I'm legend!  More like Laura being all like. "Kang, let's build a country here Y/N?" Kang: "N" Laura: "But thou must! Y/N?" Kang: "N" Laura: "But thou must! Y/N?" Kang: "FINE, FINE, YOU WANT SALAD FOR SUPPER? WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS? Y, Y, Y, YYYYYYYYYYYYY!" mad Laura: "Thou is kind to thee!" Kang: "I want a divorce.."  Children-wise, same loop of doom, different question. D:  Let's just hope I got buried far, far away from her. D:  Ooh! Certainly more colourful than starting in a throne room I must say!  Laurasia? Really? gonk Called Midenhall in the Warrior days..  Surely nothing bad is going to happen, that would just be late 80s/early 90s plot!  ..he forgot his crown and he's going to send her to find it?  Oh! It's just dark time and they're going to bed! Right? RIGHT?!  ..solar eclipse? D:  You know, anyone who isn't my daughter?  Well I'll be damned, the original game was made in 1987.. (90' in NA.)  WHAT 9,000?! **NEXT CHAPTER- Stuff happens and we meet the product of fourceful marriage as well as a stingy Father.
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:14 am
Chapter XI: MY PRECIOUS GRANDCHILDREN! Oh God, it's like something out of Fire Emblem going on here..  But the order is cut short because apparently their soldiers are idiots who can't fight. D:  Just going to note, I have never gotten along with anyone named Linda, I wonder what sort of horrors await me and this Linda? mad  And because they are taking a page out of Fire Emblem, you can expect what happens to the Lord's Father?..  Didn't you tell me to just go into hiding? confused  Obby, finally, someone who doesn't die in one demon hit. heart  Getting hot.. (pun intended)  Take what I said back -345 points for being redundant. mad  Same spell even? Does a man know how to be creative these days? D<  O SHI-  kthxbai. 4laugh  Then of course, everything gets all red because the King is a pile of ashes.  And then, you gotta have one view of the castle being totally wrecked..  It's just Hell in here with four daemons and five whole guard to defend..  GANG RAPE ACTIVATE!  And with that, our hero is left to leave this Hellhole..  I SAID, HE LEFT THIS HELLHOLE! mad  And powered all the Hell to Laurasia. **NEXT CHAPTER- We see what happens with this Heroic man, lulz at someone and meet my Grandchild.
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Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:50 am
Chapter XII: 2monarchs1palaceHopefully my computer won't screw up again so I can get this done. D<  Apparently, no one knows the horrors of random encounters of wandering about on the world map but me and this injured guard. D:  This confuses me, at first he is all like "AAAAAA I'MMA DIE NOW" then he's all like "O WATE, I NEED TO TALK TO THE KINGGGG!"  So they must quietly escort the guard who is probably spurting blood everywhere..  And by quietly, they mean DRAGGING HIM AS LOUD AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN AND LEAVING A TRAIL OF BLOOD ALL OVER THE CASTLE FOR ALL THE PEASANTS TO SEE!  As usual, this qt gets straight to business.  Then promptly dies..  "Uh, no I was too busy listening to my iPod and figuring out of I can get lots of lovin' cause I'm the ******** DESCENDANT OF ROTO, AAAAAA!"  So, apparently, our angst-ridden hero is adopted, or lives with a very lazy Father who doesn't want to deal with this whole Hargon thing..  He has his iPod, his Converse sneakers, eyeliner and goggles, he's good to go! 3nodding  Well, aren't you a pushy man. mad  I don't even get to take his weapons as Lord knows, this game is terrible for over-priced things. : (  You just want to get rid of me, NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUE ME. mad  Yeah, yeah, you're just too chicken s**t to join me. D<  Kang Jr. "N" Kang Sr (?) "But thou must!"  Thanks.. I can buy two herbs and a half with this.  Is this the best you can do? Sheesh, I thought Tantegel was a poor nation..  Apparently, he wasn't listening, MOONBROOKE IS TOAST MAN, TOAST! mad **NEXT CHAPTER: We go look around this castle, teleport somewhere and promptly come back disappointed, lulz at shop prices and perhaps get wrecked by Slimes.
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