|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:43 am
I don't know how long it has been. In some way I kind of lost the feeling for time itself.
Things happened. Let it be good or bad. Mainly bad, though. I'm not sure how to explain it. Or if I even need to explain anything.
I wasn't here for a couple of month, I guess. I forgot when I last logged in so I don't know for sure. There was a reason why I stopped being here, well, moreover, there were a lot of reasons. I can't and don't really want to explain every reason, but that doesn't matter.
The end of the road is my end and I'm afraid I've reached it. I'm standing here, right before me there is...nothing.
In the past couple of month my life was rather miserable. I don't find a job and when I thought I got one I had to quit it because I got problems with my back. Now I have to do one year physiotherapy. The relationship with my mom went from bad to nearly the worst. I will move to my dad at the end of the year.
I'm sitting here with some other major problems I don't really want to talk about.
I don't want to baw around to hope people pity me or something. To be honest I rather dislike it. It's just that I wanted you to know what happened to me.
In the past I always used to run away when something serious was about to happen in my life. I pushed it away and tried to dig my own hole where I could hide if I felt like it. But I know that there are things I can't run away from.
There is another important thing.
Every time I felt like I was new to something I got nervous. So nervous it even mae me sick. I tried to hide it all the time, using disguises, saying happy things yadda yadda.
Why I did this? I'm not sure. There may be several reasons for it. But I don't want to live a lie. I used to hide behind others, behind the people I thought everyone would like.
I'm not sure how to say this or what you will think of me afterwards.
The prince wasn't a prince. Truth to be told he was a princess to begin with. He was just afraid to doesn't fit in and borrowed the strenght of his heart from another man.
I hope you know what I mean. I guess this is the end afterall. Hiding behind "someone" doesn't help at all.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:55 am
Is Erik quitting Gaia? sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:06 am
Nii Amikasame Is Erik quitting Gaia? sad I'm not sure yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:31 am
ErikStefansen Nii Amikasame Is Erik quitting Gaia? sad I'm not sure yet. ...Don't. I have practically no emotions so I'm not good with this. TAKE IT AWAY, SOMEONE ELSE!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:59 am
Pshh.
There's time for improvement.
...
That's all I can say.
Anything else I can think of would be ranting at you for wasting time wallowing in your self-pity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:29 am
Is Erik quitting Gaia? = NOTHING. Not important. The first thought that came to my mind is "Is Erik committing suicide?" @___@
Erik, no matter what happens, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel! It might be hard to see, but it's there. Trust me. Everything might be falling apart now, but things WILL improve. They will!
I'm not sure what else to say right now, but know that we're always here to talk and support you (except Bapp, he's a d**k). You can always come back to us when you need help or advice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:17 am
I guess I have a liability for wallowing in self-pity then, Bapp. o3o
Aaah, no Lori. I'd never commit suicide. My survival instinct is too strong for that. Thought I'm the number one candidate for crawling on the ground.
But there are some things I will change so it will fit the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:23 am
ErikStefansen I guess I have a liability for wallowing in self-pity then, Bapp. o3o Aaah, no Lori. I'd never commit suicide. My survival instinct is too strong for that. Thought I'm the number one candidate for crawling on the ground. But there are some things I will change so it will fit the truth. *snugglehug* Love you, Ewik D;
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:04 am
Lorika ErikStefansen I guess I have a liability for wallowing in self-pity then, Bapp. o3o Aaah, no Lori. I'd never commit suicide. My survival instinct is too strong for that. Thought I'm the number one candidate for crawling on the ground. But there are some things I will change so it will fit the truth. *snugglehug* Love you, Ewik D; Aw, thank you Lori. It means a lot to me that you care (:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
