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 Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:37 am
Okay, so, I'm not sure who all knows what, but for about the past year, I've really liked this girl and things have been sort of all over the place. It's all a rather long story, and I ended up psychologically messing myself up for a bit [though that damage was already done, so I guess I just worsened things] and told myself that it wasn't going to happen. Now, I was set on moving on and going to university and forgetting that I ever liked her, cos she was supposed to go away too, and I was sure that she was over me or she just never liked me in the first place or who knows what.
But then, somewhere along the way, she told me that she's not going away for college yet, after all.
Somehow, we've gotten close again, and I broke my promise to myself about locking my heart away, and I'm back in this sort of relationship with her.
...Oh, and we ended up finally kissing last Saturday..
So now, I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing. I'm not sure what sort of help I'm asking you all for? But I guess I needed to talk to someone about this cos I dunno what the hell is going on sort of?
Also, one thing that's sort of bothering me is that we're not exactly dating...I mean, she said before that she wasn't ready for that. Now she's been talking about asking me to be her girlfriend...but it hasn't happened yet. I would ask her, but I did that before, and that was when she said that she wasn't quite ready, so I've been waiting until she's ready to do it herself I think.
There's also this odd feeling I have that she might be seeing someone else...it may just be my self-destructive paranoia, but I'm constantly fretting over it...
Am I just insane and should she just give up on me? Gah...
My brain's going to explode Dx
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:09 pm
the only thing i can tell you is don't commit yourself to her. you're both going to wind up in a university far from each other. there's only going to be more confusion/paranoia/uncertainty if you do allow things to go anywhere at this point (or so i gather from what i've read here.)
i don't wanna be a pessimist, and i surely don't wanna tell you how to live your life, but it's the best i can tell you right now.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:42 pm
Thanks..
But uh...I told myself that I wouldn't let myself get too attached again. But I kind of lied and I'm even more attached to her now than ever....and now I can't think of being without her..she says she wants to ask me out. She has a hold on my heart, and I start school next Saturday.
Am I horribly doomed?? Dx
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:42 pm
well, it sounds like you have two options: 1) force yourself to move on (which, i know, could be completely impossible and out of the question) or 2) put yourself at her mercy and give her another shot with your heart. we all forgive but we just need to understand the difference between forgiving and being used. i honestly hope that things work out for you, but pardon my cliche and just do whatever your heart tells you.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:26 am
Sigh, I think I may have to go with the latter...I told myself that I wouldn't, but I've told myself a lot of things and I'm not really listening to myself at all =/
Thanks, I hope it works out, too. I don't think I can handle a replay of the last few weeks of school. Crying on the way home from Disneyland isn't quite the best memory one should have of Grad Nite...=/
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