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Ask him if he knows who Alan Rickman is.
"Snape: Alan who? - Alan Rickman! He must be part of your family, you look so much like him! - I'm sure I look nothing like this..this Alan-whatyoumacallit! Anyway, coming from you, I'm sure this is an insult, so I'd rather never meet the man!"


Present him with a pet baby bunny rabbit every few weeks. Tell him each one is called Minerva.
"Snape: How am I supposed to get rid of these? They're so innocent I'd really feel bad eating them! And they're named Minerva as well! Argh! Why can't I NOT feel guilty about this! Oh well, let's get back to the pet shop..."

Set your own robes on fire. Insist that he save you.
"-Oh my! Help me, professor Snape! My robes are on fire! -What's this noise? Then, Snape realises you are indeed on fire but that the situation is not so urgent. -Save me, professor Snape!! I'm afraid!" you tell him with supplicating and panicked eyes. Snape is says quite sadly: "Oh well, if I must!" And with a reluctant smile he saves you. -Oh thank you so much, professor!! I thought I was going to die! Thank you!" And then, jump in his arms in an excess of joy. Now THAT will really get on his nerves!!


Turn in all your essays on perfumed paper covered in scribbled little love-hearts.
"Snape, when first seeing your essay: "Argh! What's this horrible thing? An essay written on love-heart paper? !?" he says in a disgusted tone. "And what's that awful smell?" he says while covering his nose with his pocket tissue. "Who did ...Of course, HER! Well this essay will be easy to mark: 0!"


Fall completely, head-over-heels in love with him. Let everybody know about it
Snape: And I once believed being a Death Eater was the worst thing that ever happened to me! Now the whole school is giggling after me, the teachers eye me as if I were some *****, that girl follows me everywhere I go and I've lost all sense of fear in my students due to her calling me Sevvie! Great! That's just great! Voldemort, here I come!"



Offer to 'bewitch his mind and ensnare his senses.'
Snape eyes you suspiciously and moves ahead.

Mutter loudly in class that he '...still owes me rent'
Snape:


Volunteer to assist him. Drop or break anything he requires you to be in contact with.
Snape: (once in his quarters while banging his head on the walls) How could I fall for this one?!


When he calls on you in class, look stunned, stutter and garble some nonsense - then fall out of your seat.
Snape: (slyly) My, my, my! I did not know you were related to Quirrell. Fortunately for you, I found an antidote against stuttering and sheer shyness. The only thing is... it's quite painful. (innocently) Oh well! One has to suffer to get better! (smirking)

Ask him how he keeps his hair so greasy.

whee decorate his classroom in pinks and other bright colors and rainbows and hearts heart and tons of sparkleys pretty much just anything girlie u can find 4laugh like unicorns and cute animals lol he would sooooo hate that 3nodding