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Tags: Drawing, Music, Poetry, Painting, Theatre 

Reply Writers Block (Writing Posts and Critiques)
Haiku: The Voices <Critiques Welcome>

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The Lonely Dream

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:33 am


~The Voices~
They are calling me
I can hear them whispering
Wishing they were gone
PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:32 pm


Constructive Criticism-
The poem needs something.
It seems too simple.
I feel like the language could be stronger and that language of the figurative type would greatly benefit the haiku. It seems too brief and vague.

I associate poetry with colorful, fragrant language; so I don't honestly really like your poem. No offense. >.>;

Herr Mannelig

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The Lonely Dream

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 11:10 am


Herr Mannelig
Constructive Criticism-
The poem needs something.
It seems too simple.
I feel like the language could be stronger and that language of the figurative type would greatly benefit the haiku. It seems too brief and vague.

I associate poetry with colorful, fragrant language; so I don't honestly really like your poem. No offense. >.>;


Well, how can it be more in-depth? its a Haiku, and haikus can only be written as:
1st Line: 5 Syllables
2nd Line: 7 Syllables
3rd Line: 5 Syllables

You can only fit so much into a Haiku.
But if u can tell me anything that can make it better, then do so by all means.

And about not liking it, I can accept that. This is one of my worse writings, I'll post a good one sometime, then tell me how you like it ^^
PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 8:59 pm


The Lonely Dream

And about not liking it, I can accept that. This is one of my worse writings, I'll post a good one sometime, then tell me how you like it ^^
post one that you're more proud of soon, because I'd like to read it! biggrin

Mr Snoman
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Writers Block (Writing Posts and Critiques)

 
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