Herr Mannelig
Constructive Criticism-
The poem needs something.
It seems too simple.
I feel like the language could be stronger and that language of the figurative type would greatly benefit the haiku. It seems too brief and vague.
I associate poetry with colorful, fragrant language; so I don't honestly really like your poem. No offense. >.>;Well, how can it be more in-depth? its a Haiku, and haikus can only be written as:
1st Line: 5 Syllables
2nd Line: 7 Syllables
3rd Line: 5 Syllables
You can only fit so much into a Haiku.
But if u can tell me anything that can make it better, then do so by all means.
And about not liking it, I can accept that. This is one of my worse writings, I'll post a good one sometime, then tell me how you like it ^^
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