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 Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:24 pm
Character name: Winderick, W’ick
Age: 15 turns
Sexuality: Homosexual
Craft & Rank: Smithcraft, Apprentice in Metal Craft.
History: Winderick grew up in a rural area, in a cothold run by his grandfather. When Winderick was 12 turns he joined a caravan to take him to a Hold were he could be taught Smithcraft by his uncle. He was accompanied by his older brother, who would be returning with the caravan after Winderick was safely with his uncle. From an early age Winderick showed a talent for building and creating things, even helping with repairs, so his parents thought this would be the best choice for him. Even though there was a smithcrafter in the cothold, Winderick's father insisted he be trained by his uncle on the grounds that his uncle was a superior craftsman. Deep down Winderick felt that he was being pushed out of the cothold to give more attention to his older brothers. To this day he holds onto this perceived abandonment, even though it makes him miserable.
While traveling with the caravan Winderick was befriended by a group of boys around his age (the oldest boy being 14 turns and the youngest 10). One night the oldest boy, whom the adults considered a trouble-maker, lead the group of boys away from the caravan while the adults were sleeping. Winderick went along, eager to make an impression upon his new friends. They wandered around until they came to a pen of herdbeasts. Winderick stood on the fence pegs, watching the herd with the rest of the boys, until the oldest boy picked up a stone and threw it at the head of the nearest herdbeast. The rest of the boys laughed and soon joined in, all but Winderick, who was horrified by the plaintive cries of the defenseless herdbeasts. One of the boys tried to give Winderick a stone to throw, but when Winderick refused and tried to escape the gang turned their aggression on him. They left him lying by the fence with several bruises and a black eye.
The oldest boy threatened to beat Winderick up again if he told on them, but Winderick told his brother anyway, thinking he would get the better of those kids. To his disdain, little was done about the incident. The oldest boy received a stern scolding while most of the other children simply denied involvement. However, this single act of tattle-taleing sparked a vicious feud between Winderick and the gang’s boy leader. The gang continued to bully him for the rest of the trip. Winderick was even more dismayed after he was blamed for beating up and starting a fight with one of the kids in the gang (mind you, the accusations were completely true, but Winderick saw it as justified revenge for the herdbeast incident). They made sure that every kid in the caravan knew Winderick was a goody-two-shoes and a snitch, ensuring that he made no friends, and continued to spread rumors through the Hold where Winderick would be apprenticed to his uncle (“Winderick is a bed-wetter,” “Winderick likes to sniff poo,” “Winderick’s back is covered in puss-spewing achne,” ect). By the time the rumors reached Winderick’s ears the caravan had already moved on, so there was nothing he could do about it.
Eventually the rumors were all but forgotten, but they were always present in Winderick’s imagination. He isolated himself with his craft and avoided social contact with other children as much as possible, making few acquaintances. (WIP. Will add his encounter with the Searcher when I think of it.)
Description: Naturally tan, strong upper-body, small square face, dark hair and brown eyes. Some minor scars on his arms and legs. (WIP)
Personality: Winderick considers himself mostly autonomous. He practices his craft to the best of his ability, completes his work on time (most of the time) and tries to stay out of other’s way as much as possible. This has less to do with shyness than a general distrust toward people. In fact Winderick is extremely self-confident. He knows exactly who he is (or so he believes) and refuses to change for anyone. When someone criticizes him without his permission he defends himself, occasionally going so far as to fight to defend his honor. However, if the criticism comes from someone who outranks him or whom he respects, he will only growl and sulk at their perceived disapproval. He’s stubborn and always wants to do things his way.
Despite his rough exterior, he is actually quite kind. He’s more likely to help than hurt unless he believes the other person is not worth his time or insults him in some way. He prefers the company of animals over people, because animals won’t lie to him or treat him unfairly. Although he keeps his emotions to himself, he longs to share a deep connection with someone and if no humans can understand him he will gladly share his heart with a dragon. If you can get through to him, you’ll have a friend for life. He’s been aware of his sexuality since his 12th turn, at least as far as he can remember, and is interested in sex but still a bit too anti-social to attract any partners.
There’s an impulsive, adventurous streak to Winderick. He tries to follow the rules only because he wants to stay out of trouble, yet there are some rules he sees as silly or asking to be broken and will happily bend them, even break them, as far as he believes he can get away with it. Sometimes he actually stumbles across a more efficient way of doing something. When he gets into trouble he’s usually acting alone, but if he had any friends to tag along with him he would voluntarily take the blame for all of them (he probably warned them not to come anyway).
Other: Critique plz!
Approved! Thanks everyone for your help. =^_^=
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:31 pm
His history mentions a talent for building and creating things, but you don't mention it at all in his personality. If he has a talent for it does he like it? Does he hate it?
There's nothing in his history about animals. If "he prefers the company of animals over people" then does he have any animal experience? Or just assumes he likes animals more than people?
Hope these help. ^_^
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:39 pm
Overall, not a bad start at all! He seems like a pretty neat guy, and the sort who'd be interesting to RP.
But I can't seem to get a handle on his faults. All the things you list that could be potential faults are tempered. He's stubborn, but he knows when to back down. He's resistant to criticism, but the advice always sinks in in the end. He bends rules sometimes, but when he does it has positive consequences. He might get in trouble, but he's always super honorable about it.
There's nothing wrong with a strong character and lots of positive traits, but there needs to be, to put it frankly, a problem with him. XD Work in at least one major flaw, finish up his description and history, and I think he'll be pretty good!
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:42 pm
Doing good Tetra! Just a couple more things I've thought of. Hope that helps. Wooo longer than I thought it'd be.
"Winderick grew up in a rural area, in a cothold run by his grandfather." Relating to this. Is his father and mother still alive? What do they do? Rural area near what major hold? (Just for an vague idea on location.) Where is his uncle's crafthall?(In or around one of the major holds?)
How many siblings does he have total? brothers/sisters
Is he the youngest?
"Quoting 2nd history para here* Who did the herdbeasts belong to? If the caravan, the herdbeasts are their life. (Either for moving their wagons, or for selling. They'd take care of them.) If a local cotholder, they'd probably have guards of some kind watching them or come out when they heard the cries.
*Quoting 3rd history para here* I also don't think the caravan would be so.... negligent? Not with Winderick sporting bruises and the others don't.(At least for that first encounter.) The boys would probably sport extra chores with some spanking or something. ^_^ Give the main bully a reason to dislike him. I don't know about the insults you listed.... but life could be made difficult for him. IE: Winderick filches(steals) things. He shirks chores. He's a dullglow(stupid).
I would suggest making him kinda shy of social contact, but willing to warm up to someone who approaches him repeatedly and friendly. Someone who does kind things for him.
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:26 am
The only major problem I see is the second paragraph; herdbeasts are valuable so I think the boys involved would have got a lot more than a telling off about it no matter who they belonged to.
In his personality, I'm not certain about him finding more efficient ways of doing things; an example of what sort of things he'd thought of might be helpful? I can see small things being fine, but not improving massively on a master crafter's design/method for example.
Other than those things he sounds fine to me; good luck ^^
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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:53 pm
Looks like everyone has covered the history and personality pretty well. Looking forward to seeing a more detailed desc of his physical description. (think medievalish for clothes).
And if you'd like, there's been some premades at Benden, so someone with a blue or green could RP with Searching with you'd rather not just skip over it.
Oh, and you could play up his distrust of people as a flaw in his personality. It's probably a huge reason why he didn't make tons of friends at the Hold he went to after all.
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