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Dessert Devour
Captain

Desirable Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:50 am


>>reserved<<
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:41 pm


User Image




Beau Wyatt


Im twenty-one
Im a guy
that is Into girls

Likes:
Party
Night times
his music

Dislikes:
schooling
Spiders
Work

Personality:
Beau is very relax and calm. He doesn't take anything to serious and always makes jokes about the negatives. He does decent in school but he only works hard enough to get a passing grade. He loves to just hang out with his friends and play his guitar. He can also draw like none other.

Bio:
Beau grew up in a average family. Not rich but not poor either. Being the only child, Beau soon found out that he could not get away with a lot of stuff. So at a young age when he got in trouble the young man would make a joke about it. Soon he started making jokes about everything.

School he wasn't the one that their parents would be proud of. Always just made the grade to pass the year off. When he started middle school he decided that he wanted to learn to play the guitar. Well his parents weren't going to spend the money on him for a guitar, thinking that he would give it up. So beau was reduce to taking guitar classes at the school. That was the only class that he would get a decent grade in. So years passed and When Beau started his Freshman hear, his parents got him his guitar. Now he takes it with him everywhere.

High school came and gone and as always Beau never worked his hardest for grades. Of course his parents wanted him to accomplish something but he wanted to go his own way. When the whole incident happened with the group, Beau was and is the only eye witness of what happened, and he plans to keep it that way. But as always Beau would crack a few jokes here and their to lighten the mood. He didn't really like how they all split up. Now he just hangs out with Fire and Alex.

Song best to describe him:
Not Afraid Eminem

I am amazing at:
killer talent on the guitar
Drawing

I follow:
petite Maria Rose

((Thats what I got... ^_^ ))

petite Alyss Heart

10,100 Points
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Dessert Devour
Captain

Desirable Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:55 pm


Okay, what you have isn't bad, but now I want you to take this outline I give you and fill it out using this character to try and help build my depth and life into your character

Name:
Age:
Height:
Weight:
Eye color:
Hair color:
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Sexuality:
Personality:
Bio:


The idea in having you fill this out with the same character is to really make you think about him. How does he think? How does he act? How can I show who he really is in just this information. By conveying the soul of your character through your profile, you can help your responders to help you!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:27 pm


Name: Beau Matthew Wyatt
Age: 21
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 135
Eye color: Teal
Hair color: Jet Black
Strengths: Music
Weaknesses: body strength
Likes: Music, night time, partying
Dislikes: Schooling, Spiders, Work
Sexuality: Straight
Personality: Beau is very relax and calm. He doesn't take anything to serious and always makes jokes about the negatives. He does decent in school but he only works hard enough to get a passing grade. He loves to just hang out with his friends and play his guitar. He can also draw like none other.

Bio: Beau grew up in a average family. Not rich but not poor either. Being the only child, Beau soon found out that he could not get away with a lot of stuff. So at a young age when he got in trouble the young man would make a joke about it. Soon he started making jokes about everything.

School he wasn't the one that their parents would be proud of. Always just made the grade to pass the year off. When he started middle school he decided that he wanted to learn to play the guitar. Well his parents weren't going to spend the money on him for a guitar, thinking that he would give it up. So beau was reduce to taking guitar classes at the school. That was the only class that he would get a decent grade in. So years passed and When Beau started his Freshman hear, his parents got him his guitar. Now he takes it with him everywhere.

High school came and gone and as always Beau never worked his hardest for grades. Of course his parents wanted him to accomplish something but he wanted to go his own way. When the whole incident happened with the group, Beau was and is the only eye witness of what happened, and he plans to keep it that way. But as always Beau would crack a few jokes here and their to lighten the mood. He didn't really like how they all split up. Now he just hangs out with Fire and Alex.


I just left the personality and Bio the same because I wasn't sure how to change it to make it work...

petite Alyss Heart

10,100 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Generous 100
  • Voter 100

Dessert Devour
Captain

Desirable Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:10 pm


petite Maria Rose
Name: Beau Matthew Wyatt
Age: 21
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 135
Eye color: Teal
Hair color: Jet Black
Strengths: Music
Weaknesses: body strength
Likes: Music, night time, partying
Dislikes: Schooling, Spiders, Work
Sexuality: Straight
Personality: Beau is very relax and calm. He doesn't take anything to serious and always makes jokes about the negatives. He does decent in school but he only works hard enough to get a passing grade. He loves to just hang out with his friends and play his guitar. He can also draw like none other.

Bio: Beau grew up in a average family. Not rich but not poor either. Being the only child, Beau soon found out that he could not get away with a lot of stuff. So at a young age when he got in trouble the young man would make a joke about it. Soon he started making jokes about everything.

School he wasn't the one that their parents would be proud of. Always just made the grade to pass the year off. When he started middle school he decided that he wanted to learn to play the guitar. Well his parents weren't going to spend the money on him for a guitar, thinking that he would give it up. So beau was reduce to taking guitar classes at the school. That was the only class that he would get a decent grade in. So years passed and When Beau started his Freshman hear, his parents got him his guitar. Now he takes it with him everywhere.

High school came and gone and as always Beau never worked his hardest for grades. Of course his parents wanted him to accomplish something but he wanted to go his own way. When the whole incident happened with the group, Beau was and is the only eye witness of what happened, and he plans to keep it that way. But as always Beau would crack a few jokes here and their to lighten the mood. He didn't really like how they all split up. Now he just hangs out with Fire and Alex.


I just left the personality and Bio the same because I wasn't sure how to change it to make it work...


Okay, now is when you really start to build and embellish... Look at this section:

petite Maria Rose
Strengths: Music
Weaknesses: body strength
Likes: Music, night time, partying
Dislikes: Schooling, Spiders, Work
Sexuality: Straight


With this piece, you can elaborate rather than just list. Try and explain why each thing is as it is.

"Beau is an exceptionally strong musician. It's his passion ever since... ect ect..."
PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:19 pm


Beau is extremely talented in the art of music. Ever since he was born he always had a rhythm or a beat. It wasn't till high school that he got his first and only guitar that he never leaves behind. He has never taken music classes when he was in school and loves to make new songs or even change existing ones.

Though he is strong in music he is weak in body strength. Lets just say he is a tooth pick. He was never into sports or working out and he always lost at the little fights his older siblings would do daily. But he doesn't care what he looks like and he never trys to change it. Next to music , Beaus finds peace during night time. Whether he is sitting in his back yard with his gurtar or at a party living it up.

He love the party life and still does. He either their for two reasons. Either to hook up with someone for the night or long terms or to play his guitar for the entertainment. Though his sexuality is straight, Beau did have an encounter at one of the parties he attend back in high school where he woke up next to a guy and cant remember what had happened. That was when he decided that he would no longer go to a party with out a chick.

Because he is a night owl, Beau never liked school at all. He found it boring and hot and just hated going. It wasn't because he wasnt smart or anything like that, he just found it to hot and bright to concentrate on his work leaving him at an average student.

One thing is is afraid of are spiders. He cant stand them. How they are so tiny that they can get anywhere and everywhere. Just the thought of them give him the shivers and the feeling that they are crawling all over him. Though he doesn't remember why he is so afraid of them.

_______

so I wasn't sure how to state his sexuality well...

petite Alyss Heart

10,100 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Generous 100
  • Voter 100

Dessert Devour
Captain

Desirable Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:54 am


petite Maria Rose
Beau is extremely talented in the art of music. Ever since he was born he always had a *rhythm or a beat. It wasn't till high school that he got his first and only guitar that he never leaves behind. **He has never taken music classes when he was in school and loves to make new songs or even change existing ones.

***Though he is strong in music he is weak in body strength. Lets just say he is a tooth pick. He was never into sports or working out and he always lost at the little fights his older siblings would do daily. ****But he doesn't care what he looks like and he never tries to change it. *****Next to music , Beaus finds peace during night time. Whether he is sitting in his back yard with his guitar or at a party living it up.

******He love the party life and still does. *^He either their for two reasons. Either to hook up with someone for the night or long terms or to play his guitar for the entertainment. **^Though his sexuality is straight, Beau did have an encounter at one of the parties he attend back in high school where he woke up next to a guy and cant remember what had happened. That was when he decided that he would no longer go to a party with out a chick.

***^Because he is a night owl, Beau never liked school at all. He found it boring, hot and just hated going. It wasn't because he wasn't smart or anything like that, he just found it to hot and bright to concentrate on his work leaving him as an average student.

One thing *^^is is afraid of are spiders. He can't stand them; how they are so tiny that they can get anywhere and everywhere. Just the thought of them gives him the shivers and the feeling that they are crawling all over him. *^^^Though he doesn't remember why he is so afraid of them.

_______

so I wasn't sure how to state his sexuality well...


*What what words you use. By saying "Rhythm or Beat" it would generally lead the reader to think "ah drummer" rather than guitar. Perhaps choosing a more guitar related noun would make this piece flow better.

**This phrasing is a little strange, perhaps you can arrange it like "He never took music classes while in school but he still love to...."

***This transition is awkward. You do not need to directly relate the weakness and the strength. Once you create a new paragraph, you can have a new topic.

****Starting a sentence with "but" generally doesn't set you up for a good sentence. Also, the phrasing is a bit off "he doesn't care what he looks like and he never tries to change it" He doesn't try to change that he doesn't care, or he doesn't try to change his looks?

*****This sentence doesn't connect with the rest of the paragraph.

******Did you mean "He loves the party life"?

*^This sentence is not grammatically correct.

**^I could tell you didn't know how to address the boy's sexuality. It's an awkward topic and you didn't do a good job of hiding that fact. A lot of times, using understated phrases that imply his sexuality will work better than blatantly putting it out there.

***^Starting off a paragraph with "because" give it a weak start in this case, consider rephrasing it so it isn't just a continuation of the thought from last paragraph.

*^^double "is"?

*^^^This just isn't working at the end. Read it allowed with the rest of the paragraph.

(sorry to take so long and then write so much... hope it's helpful!)
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