petite Maria Rose
Beau is extremely talented in the art of music. Ever since he was born he always had a *rhythm or a beat. It wasn't till high school that he got his first and only guitar that he never leaves behind. **He has never taken music classes when he was in school and loves to make new songs or even change existing ones.
***Though he is strong in music he is weak in body strength. Lets just say he is a tooth pick. He was never into sports or working out and he always lost at the little fights his older siblings would do daily. ****But he doesn't care what he looks like and he never
tries to change it. *****Next to music , Beaus finds peace during night time. Whether he is sitting in his back yard with his
guitar or at a party living it up.
******He love the party life and still does. *^He either their for two reasons. Either to hook up with someone for the night or long terms or to play his guitar for the entertainment. **^Though his sexuality is straight, Beau did have an encounter at one of the parties he attend back in high school where he woke up next to a guy and cant remember what had happened. That was when he decided that he would no longer go to a party with out a chick.
***^Because he is a night owl, Beau never liked school at all. He found it boring
, hot and just hated going. It wasn't because he
wasn't smart or anything like that, he just found it to hot and bright to concentrate on his work leaving him
as an average student.
One thing *^^is is afraid of are spiders. He
can't stand them
; how they are so tiny that they can get anywhere and everywhere. Just the thought of them
gives him the shivers and the feeling that they are crawling all over him. *^^^Though he doesn't remember why he is so afraid of them.
_______
so I wasn't sure how to state his sexuality well...
*What what words you use. By saying "Rhythm or Beat" it would generally lead the reader to think "ah drummer" rather than guitar. Perhaps choosing a more guitar related noun would make this piece flow better.
**This phrasing is a little strange, perhaps you can arrange it like "He never took music classes while in school but he still love to...."
***This transition is awkward. You do not need to directly relate the weakness and the strength. Once you create a new paragraph, you can have a new topic.
****Starting a sentence with "but" generally doesn't set you up for a good sentence. Also, the phrasing is a bit off "he doesn't care what he looks like and he never tries to change it" He doesn't try to change that he doesn't care, or he doesn't try to change his looks?
*****This sentence doesn't connect with the rest of the paragraph.
******Did you mean "He loves the party life"?
*^This sentence is not grammatically correct.
**^I could tell you didn't know how to address the boy's sexuality. It's an awkward topic and you didn't do a good job of hiding that fact. A lot of times, using understated phrases that imply his sexuality will work better than blatantly putting it out there.
***^Starting off a paragraph with "because" give it a weak start in this case, consider rephrasing it so it isn't just a continuation of the thought from last paragraph.
*^^double "is"?
*^^^This just isn't working at the end. Read it allowed with the rest of the paragraph.
(sorry to take so long and then write so much... hope it's helpful!)