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 Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:06 pm
Breaking Windows
There goes a arm, a leg,
flying with anger, sorrow, joy? Nothing?
I've shattered the window pains
of my eyes.
All the rain can flood through.
Hurry, hide the evidence!
But the mop is hard, sharp-tipped,
solidified with dirty rain
from the last time,
or was it the time before?
I really don't remember,
but there are stains on the floor.
Who's hands made?
Smooth, polished finish,
hurried dip to seal.
Shaded fault lines split
at each imperfection.
Slather with more polish, more shine.
Sparkle neatly,
tread softly,
breathe lightly.
Toes and heels threaten to shatter,
in a pace the sun could beat,
setting in the west,
still waking in the east.
Hair primped, bangs cut,
eyes open, eyes shut.
Frozen smile, frozen stare,
constant grip, held with care.
So tempt me closer distant breeze,
sway the strength from my knees.
The joints are cracking,
porcelain river seams.
Tender, take the pieces please.
A puzzle, match each pair to pair,
or grind them,
leaving dust to fair.
A softer burden left to bare.
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:37 pm
I really like the way you write.
There's a free form feel to it, since there really isn't a pattern of any sort,
but the way you pair your lines together actually leave them there to fit perfectly.
I especialy love the way your last lines rhyme. It just feels so finished when it's done that way.
I personally think the most important parts of a poem is its last line-- the ending-- and its first line-- the beginning-- and your last lines are wonderfully witty and stand as their own sturdy denouement.
You're very good,
and I hope I get to see your work around the forums more often. :3
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 4:06 pm
Thank you for the comment. I tend to just write in the spur of emotion, so they usually come out more free verse, but I love rhymes.
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:10 pm
Well it shows there!
And I love it. ;D
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