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My husband is just driving me nuts. Besides the fact that my room is messy all the time and he doesn't make any effort to keep it clean, he can't really do anything for me. If I ask him to make dinner, he bitches about it and then I end up making it. I would understand if he was working, but he isn't, so I don't see why he can't help around the house. The one thing that annoyed me this morning was that I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, so I asked him to get up and spend some time with me. Well, he didn't. And you know what? He does that to me all the time. He doesn't let me sleep or anything. So I gave up and decided to let him sleep. So I take out the laptop and don't turn on the TV like he does to me when I sleep so he can get some rest. Well he sees that I have the laptop and he gets up. I mean, really? Couldn't you just get up when I asked you and spend some time with me? It just bothers me to all hell when he does s**t like this and I dunno how much of it I can take. Steven doesn't even listen to me when I talk to him about stuff like this, and if he does, he doesn't remember in a few minutes. I just don't know what do anymore, so I just kinda quit. >.<

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Wow, what a charmer. confused I can relate to how hard it can be when your spouse is unemployed; my now-husband has been out of work since April. He did a lot of lying around the house when he was first laid off, and I still think he's not really doing enough to try to find work or get back into school. Nagging him about it started making me feel bitchy, which made me resent him, which made me feel guilty, which made me resent him more for making me resent him which made me feel guilty... you get the picture. He also did the most pointless crap when he DID do something productive. For example, he'd spill a soda in the car and then go spend $50 getting the interior cleaned instead of just doing it himself. What I finally started doing was this: I made a concerted effort to lay off him, but I also stopped doing anything I didn't feel like doing, sort of like Dolls' laundry strategy. I'd let him know, frankly, how tired I was and leave it at that. After a week or two, I started calling him from work or shooting him an email, telling him to do certain specific things. E.g. instead of saying "I need you to clean around the house more", I'd call and say "I need you to start some whites while I'm gone, please, I don't have anything to wear for work tomorrow." I'm always nice about it, but I don't ask - I tell him flat out what I need done. I'd make dinner, but then say, "Sweetie, I'm tired, it would really help if you'd clean up the kitchen." Eventually he started doing it without being asked. Granted, I've babbled at length about how sweet and wonderful he is, but he does tend to be a bit lazy and needs prodding. I am, of course, assuming that you two have actually talked about what's going on, not just the specific instances but the overall picture, right?

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I've been doing the same thing Dolls. xD I told him if he doesn't pick up his clothes I'll throw them away too. xD
@Jaded: I can relate to that. We have talk about it at length, with certain specific situations. About the work thing, I'm lucky that his mum is the one that does the bitching. I make him look for work often and he doesn't mind that, thank Goddess. But we have talked about it like I said and he is getting better. He told me even if he doesn't wan to do something and complains it doesn't mean he won't do it. So I can get him to help me cook, do laundry, and clean up a little. I don't nag him all that much anymore but I told him I will nag him to do certain things, like studying once we start college. He said he's fine with that and he has permission to do the same to me. xD
@Miskatonic: A little over three months. We're still getting used to each other. Besides the whole helping around the house we have no problems, really. confused

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