Welcome to Gaia! ::

Okay, first off, I am pretty sure I'm at the risk of sounding really stupid, but I just have to ask.

(And for anyone who might remember me from a previous thread about depression issues that I've been having; I'm doing better now. I don't think I'm at 100% but every day I'm trying harder to motivate myself and do the things that make me happy, again)

Back on topic, this is something that actually happened several months ago... but now that I'm actually somewhat active on Gaia again, I thought would explain what happened and what I still occasionally wonder about.

Several months ago, I was late for my period - I had skipped one completely and would soon be skipping the second at the rate I was going - but then one day I finally had my period. Normally, my periods are NOT as heavy as this one was. I had super absorbency tampons and found that I had to change them out every HOUR, but what disturbed me the most was that when the initial cramping started and I ran to the toilet, I could literally feel the menstrual fluid fall out of me... And I remember looking down into the toilet because it has NEVER felt like that for me before, but the water was red and practically opaque; I couldn't make out anything.

I spent the rest of that day and the most of the following day cramping abnormally hard and with a flow much heavier than normal, but I was still mostly able to carry on with life just fine. I have a close relationship with my fiance's mother, and we both told her what happened, and she thought it was possible that I might have had a miscarriage, but she couldn't be sure.

It's been so long since then that I'm fine now, though at the time the slight possibility that I might have has a miscarriage made me very sad... But even now I still sometimes wonder if it's possible that it really was a miscarriage, or maybe it was just a random, abnormally heavy, and abnormally painful period.

What are other peoples' thoughts on this? Do you think I might have miscarried? If I have, I prefer to think that it was perhaps for the best for now, because I'm not in the financial situation to easily care for a child. And maybe, when the time comes and I find myself ready, the possibly miscarried child could be reborn...? I know that sounds really cheesy, but that's just what I prefer to believe. IF I miscarried...

And just in case anyone asks, my periods are typically irregular, a little heavy the first few days, and then light for the rest, with only mild cramping during the heavy days.

This period of which I speak was VERY abnormally heavy for 2 days, then spotting for a few more...? And the cramping was so bad that I actually found myself needing to stop whatever I might be doing and rest for a moment.

So... do you think I might have miscarried? I know that because it's too far in the past, I will never know for sure. I should have gone to a doctor when it happened; that was my mistake... But I still would like to know what others thoughts might be.

I would second seeing an OB/GYN, just to be sure. Maybe they can tell whether you had a miscarriage or not, I don't know. It could've been an abnormally heavy period, but it sounds like it could've been a miscarriage too. Hard to say. Regardless, if you did have a miscarriage, I'm sorry you had to go through it. sad

As for children being reborn, it all depends on personal belief. I'm inclined to believe it to a degree, but that's just me. My first boyfriend (now my ex) and his family used to comment that him and his sister were the children reborn from their mom's first 2 miscarriages. But while religious, their family was also quite liberal and open-minded; I know not all families are like that.

I would just like to thank everyone for their responses. I called my ob/gyn to schedule an appointment, though I'm not due for my yearly pap for another few months, and mentioned what happened. She said that it's been too long for her to say whether or not I'd had a miscarriage, but that she wants to examine me to be sure if everything's okay down there. However, I've felt fine ever since that time, so I'm not sure if there will be anything to discover... But then, I'm no doctor, either. I'll be going in on Tuesday.

It sounds like I won't get any clear answer about whether or not it was a miscarriage, and I suppose that's fine. What can I expect for not going to a doctor right away...? And if it was just an freak pain-overload type of period, then oh well. And if it was an abortion... well like I said, I like to think that if I lost a wee lil bob of a baby, maybe one day it could be reborn. I grew up being encouraged to find my spiritual path and I suppose, as a result, I'm pretty open-minded about what could happen.

EDIT:: Okay, I went in for my appointment yesterday. She couldn't confirm whether or not I'd had a miscarriage, as I had sort of suspected after calling... However, I am completely healthy. So at least there's nothing to worry about, and obviously, if something like that ever happens again, I plan on going to the doctor much earlier... Lesson learned.