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 Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:02 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:21 pm
Whoa. And I thought I was descriptive.
It seems good from here, although sentence structure in some place could use work, and I think you can stand to drop just a bit of the description. I mean, it's dark, and the moon's not out; can anyone really see that much detail under those conditions?
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:54 pm
If you're inhuman, you never know what you might be able to see. Yea, it is dark in the scene, but I want to define these creatures with a level of description that gives them an "evil" reputation, and one that will stick through the whole story. I don't personally see any hurt in putting in a little extra description-at least not at this stage. I still need to work off this material and I should be giving myself as much of an advantage as possible. If I see that their is too much description later, I'll eliminate some of it. Oh, and about the grammar...I'm not the greatest with it. That's by far my weakest aspect in writing.
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:20 am
As long as you're aware that your grammar isn't perfect, you'll be fine.
As for the description, it makes sense for something inhuman to be able to see well in the dark, I suppose. It still seems a bit much, especially for a prologue.
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:33 am
Wow......That is ranking up there at about 3rd place of the best prologes I've ever read....Keep up the good work!! ^^
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Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:35 pm
I like it, very detailed!
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000Hinata000 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:07 pm
So are you gonna post more?!!! Well not really more since that was just the prologe so are you gonna post the first chapter?!
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:45 pm
000hinata000 So are you gonna post more?!!! Well not really more since that was just the prologe so are you gonna post the first chapter?! I've quit writing this story after the 6th chapter or something. I forget...it's been so long. I'm working on something new now...and I think I'll post it. Another prologue...thing. =P
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:50 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:49 am
Khrogan 000hinata000 So are you gonna post more?!!! Well not really more since that was just the prologe so are you gonna post the first chapter?! I've quit writing this story after the 6th chapter or something. I forget...it's been so long. I'm working on something new now...and I think I'll post it. Another prologue...thing. =P go Prologues!
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000Hinata000 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 6:39 pm
I fully agree with Hinata's support of Prologues!
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:02 pm
yeah you just got to love the start of things! like prolodges blaugh
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000Hinata000 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:49 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:58 pm
i don't think I've ever really written a prolodge before....
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000Hinata000 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 5:05 pm
I love doing prologues. It gives the story a little more background than it would without one. More opportunities to get a history into the story.
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