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 Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:10 pm
As he rode on night's silent air,
One giant eye turned to stare,
An eye that muses and wonders and dreams,
An eye that thinks on all the love it has seen.
Foolish men who do not crave,
The moon's full and rich displays,
Will never feel loves first kiss,
But will always wonder at what they miss.
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:58 pm
It's really quite nice.
I really enjoy your description of the moon, and the rhyming adds a bit of fun to the piece. It seems a bit short though- as if it has more stanzas, but they were left out.
perhaps you could write more to it? I believe that would make it flow a bit better.
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:37 am
I like that a lot. The only suggestion i would have is incorporate a little bit more about this person you introduce at the beginning. The word choice is impeccable and the cadence is wonderful!
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