i sit in my room
rocking, crying.
i try to block out the voices.
the voices
screaming, yelling
at me.
"Don't you ever think?!"
"I don't want to hear it!"
"Go away."
i rock and cry but the voices only grow.
they get louder and stronger.
the voices grow until all i hear
is one long, loud scream.
it isn't until i stop that i realize it was me screaming.
screaming for the voices to stop.
screaming for acceptance.
a migrane pounds in my head
sharp, painful.
i rest my head in my hands and focus on the pain.
i focus on my headache.
i focus on my headache because as long as i have one
the voices are nice to me.
i focus on the pain because it makes the voices quiet.
if only the voices knew how much pain they caused.
maybe if they knew . . .
they would leave me alone.