Welcome to Gaia! ::

*sneaks in* *waves shyly* Um, hi? Sorry for the long, long absence y'all. I've been... busy? Yeah, that about sums it up. Busy.

So, since I was last on the Gates, I graduated, got a job, and (finally) moved out of my parents' house about five months ago, into a little apartment that's not far from either work or my parents. I have my own life, my own space, and I am LOVING it.

Thing is... *sighs and braces self* So, my dad's been going through a lot of uproar in his professional life. Got let go from his job of twelve-plus years because their luck with getting grants finally ran out and they lost funding, then he got let go from the lab he joined after that fiasco because of a similar loss of funding, so for the last two months he's been popcorning his time between a couple of labs, essentially temping as a professional lab tech with PhD training. He's applied for (and, it sounds like, has gotten - my fingers are crossed over this, there's been WAY too many disappointments in this area) a teaching job at a university - seventy miles away. And my mother has applied for an advanced position at another university that is also seventy miles away (about fifteen-twenty miles south of dad's, not completely opposite directions thank god). The problem with this is, neither of them wants to do an hour's commute every morning, but neither do they want to sell their house and move out there. Dad's solution? They'll rent a place to live in for the week, my sister (who graduated last year, has been living at home, and has only managed to get a job last week...not that I'm bitter or anything) will finally start to pay them rent, and, here's the part that's REALLY annoying, I'll move back in and start paying them rent again. That way, they can keep the house, not spend a fortune on gas, and have a reasonable weekday commute.

Sounds reasonable. Logical. It is the best solution that presents itself. So why do I want to start screaming? Umar, any advice? I'm torn here. Good daughter or budding adult? Help my parents or stay separate? I know what I want to do. I know what my parents need. And to have this come from Dad - he's always been the one telling me to not worry about him or Mom. I don't know what make of this.

I don't have to make the decision right now, thankfully; Dad just mentioned it to think about. So I'm looking for input I can trust. Help a girl out?

First, I apolgize for the delay in my reply and I hope so much that your decision has not been made and you have a chance to read this.

Secondly, I think you already know what I am going to say. ^_^

Why are you saying that it sounds reasonable and is logical? It is only reasonable and logical from their perspective. I am not saying they are wrong to have these feelings, but I think they are focused on their own issues which are naturally in the forefront of their minds. You are their daughter and once they pretty much commanded you with the authority of a king and queen as they trained you up to be a reasonable and logical human being in this world. So you just need to remind them that right now you really need this time to grow and learn and experience things. Just make sure to be honest with them about it and present it to them in a really reasonable and logical manner since they seem to respond to logic.

Also, if you just assume they will respond favorably then you can work that into your speech too. "I know that you want me to learn how to interact in the world better and to be able to make my own way so I appreciate your asking me so I won't feel left out, but I want to assure you that I am really doing well and enjoying being on my own."