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“I don't want him coming; he's probably just gonna leave before then anyway.”

That was all that Shade said to his mother – he didn't give any explanation either before he stormed off to his room. Truthfully, the teenager DID want his father to attend, but he didn't think that Nox would. Why would he? Fathers didn't seem to stay in his life for very long...

First, Nox had left. Then Theo. So why should this be any different? He'd probably be gone before Shade even knew it...so he couldn't get attached to him. He wouldn't. It hurt too much.

As the impling boy fell onto his bed, he found himself thinking about all those times that he'd WANTED Nox there – father-son activities at school, birthdays, Christmases. Every time he added something to the list, his heart plummeted all the more. He could remember all the times that he'd watched the other boys plays with their dads, wishing that he could be doing the same. The more he thought about it, the more the bitterness welled up. Why was it that none of them ever stayed? They never gave an explanation as to why they left...it was always that he woke up and that they were gone.

Just gone.

But no, that wasn't true...now that he thought about it, he could remember the night that Nox had left. He'd been sleepy, so it was slightly fuzzy, but he remembered most of it...

'Where're you going, Daddy...?'

'Daddy's going on a trip, kiddo.'

'When'll you be coming back?'

'I'm not sure...go back to sleep, Shade.'

And he had. In his young mind, he'd thought that his father would be there when he woke up in the morning. However, he'd been sorely mistaken – still, a hope had lingered for a while that Nox would come back eventually. Years had flown by and he'd continued to wait, hopeful for his father's return...and it hadn't been until the fourth grade that he'd finally given up. He'd been talking with Carlos at school when it had happened, and he remembered it clearly.

'Shade's Dad doesn't love him!'

'Shut up! He does so! He loves me and Dusk and Mom just as much as your Dad does!'

'Oh yeah? Then why doesn't he live with you?'

The words had hit him like a ton of bricks. The boy had been quiet for the rest of the day after that and when he'd gotten home, his mother had asked him what was wrong. He'd lied, saying that nothing was wrong – that everything was fine and that he was just tired.

Then he'd gone to his room and cried.

Shade tried to push the memories from his head, but then found himself being pounded by another memory; this time, it was of a story that his father had told him. He couldn't remember the whole thing, but he distinctly remembered the song from the book.

'I'll love you forever...'

Bullshit.

'I'll like you for always...'

He was a liar.

'As long as I'm living...'

Why had he ever believed him?

'My baby you'll be...'

'Then why did you leave?' He curled up on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to drive the thoughts from his head. How could he have said something like that and then just up and left? He'd never written, or called, or came to visit...he'd just been GONE.

And then there was Theo. In the beginning, Shade hadn't trusted him one bit. In fact, he'd tried to make Theo's life hell in an attempt to scare him off. That hadn't worked though and eventually, the teenager had opened himself up to the adult. He'd been ready to open up and accept him as a new father figure, as someone that he could look up too...

But he'd left too. There hadn't been a goodbye, or a note, or anything – everyone had just woken up to find him gone. This time though, there'd been no illusion of him coming back, and Shade had immediately cast him out of his life. It was then that he'd decided that he didn't want a father.

Nox had come back almost right after that, but this time, Shade wasn't going to let himself be fooled. He'd keep his father from getting close to him this time...but that longing was still there. The one that told him to stop snapping at Nox whenever he spoke and to apologize. It kept pestering for him to let go, to put the past behind him and to accept his parent back into his life.

But he knew better than to listen to that little voice because he knew that, should he listen to it, he'd just wind up getting hurt again. He was currently trying to force his old wounds to close so that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to forget about everything.

He didn't know if he'd be able to handle being cut a third time.

I luff it! It's so melancholy! Great work~

I'll come up with a more creative response later so you can put it in your mini-folio xD I'm lazy right now.