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 Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:33 pm
Alright, guess what? This guild doesn't HAVE a joke forum, and jokes always brighten my day. xd (they really need a sun modi-con >.>)
Post your favorite jokes here!
Be they funny, awe-inspiring, or just plain corny.
Have fun, and try to keep it pg-13, ^^
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:42 pm
The LAPD, FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
The end.
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 6:26 pm
(This is slightly offensive to some) A blind man is walking down a street.
As he approaches a fish market he slows down.
Once he is next to the fish market he stops and says "hello ladies"
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 12:59 pm
that was a funny joke lol LMAO
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Fairy_darkness Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 5:44 pm
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 6:24 pm
I liked them both. I'd post a good one here to keep this thread alive if I knew any good jokes... ^^;; Sorry.
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Fairy_darkness Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:05 pm
Both?
I suck at jokes but good at riddles lol
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Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:04 am
She said bad jokes too lol
most of the funny jokes I know sexual like sooo hers a blonde joke.
3 Blonde's are walking and they see some tracks.
The first blonde said, "There are moose tracks
The second blonde said, "These are too far spaced, they're deer tracks".
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong these are obviously duck tracks".
Three minutes passed with them starin' at the tracks and then they were run down by a train.
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Fairy_darkness Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:42 pm
how about this one
there's three girls, one brunette, one blond, and one redhead
they were going up the steps to this mall
and at every step they take, this dude tell them a joke, if they laugh, they have to start all over again.
the brunette went up 50 steps until she laughed and went down.
the redhead went up 70 steps until she laughed and went down.
the blonde went up 90 steps until she laughed. the dude was like i didn't tell a joke why are you laughing. she was like i just got the first one. lol
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:52 pm
Haha. Okay. Here it goes...
A man and a woman are sitting at a bar on the 12th story of a building. The man orders a drink and tells her that if she drinks it, she would be able to fly around the building and back.
She didn't believe him, so he drank it, went out the window, flew around and came back unharmed.
Surprised, she asked if she could try. So he ordered the same drink for her. She drank, went out the window and dropped to the ground, dead.
The bartender walks up to the man and says, "You know, you can be a real a** when you're drunk, Superman."
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 7:46 am
hahahahhaahahahah both was funny but that superman one was HILARIOUS!
A black man and a white man go to a bar at 10 o'clock. The black man looks at the t.v and sees the news on. He told the white man to look at the t.v (there was a man about to commit suicide) and said "I bet that ***** on the t.v jump". The white man said "this is on t.v I doubt that they show something like that". So the black man says "Let's put $500 on it then, $500 I say he jump and $100 extra if he does it in f minutes on the dot". The white man accepted the bet and then five minutes pass and the man on the news jumped. The white men then said "Well a bets a bet, I don't know how you knew but here's your $600". The Black man laughs and replies "I can't take yo money, this is the same segment they had on at 6 o'clock"
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 10:35 pm
(bit dirty)
A handsome man walkes into a bar and sits next to another patron. Firstly, he pulls a tiny pianist, complete with piano, from his pocket. He asks for a drink, and when he comes to pay, he pulls the exact change out of his pocket. After another 4 times of this, the patron next to him becomes curious. He turns to the man and says 'Excuse me, but how can you have the exact same change for the drinks each time?' The man replies 'I was given three wishes by genie, and my first wish was that I would always have just enough change in my pocket for whatever I wanted.' 'That's genious,' the man replied, 'what were your other wishes?' 'Well, my second wish was to be a very handsome man, and he gave me that.' 'Ok,' the other patron replies, 'I can understand the first two, but why the wish of a tiny piano player.' 'Well,' the genie man replies, 'The genie misheard me and though I asked for a 12 inch pianist.'
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Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:05 pm
(sorry to the guys. You know I love you though)
There were 2 blonds and a brunette.
The first blond said "I want to be smart." POOF! She was a brunette.
The other one said the same thing.POOF! She was a Brunette too!
The Brunette said "I want to be dumb!" POOF! She was a man!
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:03 am
Heh I heard a similar on but the women were men and the third wish was to be dumb and he turned into a blonde lass.
A nun is in the bathroom, having a bath, when she hears a knock on the door. 'Who is it?' She yells. 'It's a blind salesman!' Comes the reply. Well, she thinks, if he's blind, there won't be a problem. 'Come in then.' And so the guy walks in, looks at her and says 'I've come to sell you some blinds. Nice boobs, by the way.'
:p
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 8:15 pm
HAHAHAAHAH
There was a British man and a black man sitting on a bus bench. The black man says to the British man "how do you like America, it's hard here but only because people try to hold you back right?" The British man replies "Actually it's rather easy when you work hard". The black man gets shocked by that reply "Are you saying I'm lazy, I can beat you at anything anytime." The British man and the black man laugh and then the British man ask the black man to enter into a 5 year 3 round competition.
In year 1 They had to see who made more by the end of the year. The British man made 120K by the end of the year the black man made 60k
In year 2 they had to see who could become more popular and the black man won hands down
In year 3-5 the men had to so who possessed the smartest kid between the 2. The British man easily married and had a beautiful smart daughter. He met up with the black man and said you see, I have an intelligent daughter, I win you don't have any kids so I work harder. The black man said actually I win, yo kid is cute and smart, then the black man walks to his car and lets out a kid. You see this Asian kid I "borrowed" is in my possession, she's smarter than your kid and I had to work harder to get her.
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