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Good?
nice!
76%
 76%  [ 10 ]
so-so
7%
 7%  [ 1 ]
hm?
15%
 15%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 13


skyheaven

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:15 am


Hi everyone! Just want to say hi. Well, this is my first poem here. Hope you like it heart

Clouds

So fluffy and white,
like the first snow on the ground,
behold such delights!

Through this camera,
a picture perfect to hold
though we are so far...
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 6:23 am


Haiku typically only contain the three lines, but aside from mechanics, you have demonstrated a good use of the style. Perhaps you have seen the haiku I have written? They're not very good, poetry isn't really my scene.

Itsarired


XxMusikJunkiexX

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:42 am


Itsarired
Haiku typically only contain the three lines, but aside from mechanics, you have demonstrated a good use of the style. Perhaps you have seen the haiku I have written? They're not very good, poetry isn't really my scene.


I agree, this isn't exactly a "haiku."

not bad writing though.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:04 am


Itsarired
Haiku typically only contain the three lines, but aside from mechanics, you have demonstrated a good use of the style. Perhaps you have seen the haiku I have written? They're not very good, poetry isn't really my scene.

oh..I always thought that we can have as many stanzas as we like in a haiku...I just read some of yours. they sound better than mine, probably because they are closer to that of Japanese, I think....mine is like american mix 0_o ?

skyheaven


skyheaven

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:08 am


XxMusikJunkiexX

I agree, this isn't exactly a "haiku."
not bad writing though.

thank you!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:49 pm


skyheaven
Hi everyone! Just want to say hi. Well, this is my first poem here. Hope you like it heart

Clouds

So fluffy and white,
like the first snow on the ground,
behold such delights!

Through this camera,
a picture perfect to hold
though we are so far...

I like them. They're like two Haikus in one.

Merenwen99
Crew


The Bookwyrm
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 7:12 am


That's so cute! ^^ I've never been able to write haikus, mostly because of the restrictions and the fact that I suck hardcore at counting syllables. I don't even think I can spell syllables... O.o;;

I will agree that this isn't just one haiku, it's two together, but there's really nothing wrong with that. You can have a series of them. ^^
PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 10:41 am


Besides all of what has been said already, the only thing I found was the first line of the second poem. "Through this camera". Now I don't know how most of you pronounce camera, but for me it only has two syllables because I cut out the "er". It's more like camra. ^^ It's my southern accent, I'm sure, living in Georgia, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure it isn't just me though. Other than that, they're cute, and they do have that American mix thing going on. 3nodding

Serieve

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skyheaven

PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:43 am


Merenwen99
skyheaven
Hi everyone! Just want to say hi. Well, this is my first poem here. Hope you like it heart

Clouds

So fluffy and white,
like the first snow on the ground,
behold such delights!

Through this camera,
a picture perfect to hold
though we are so far...

I like them. They're like two Haikus in one.

thanks! I'm glad you like it^^
PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:50 am


Gypsy Blue
That's so cute! ^^ I've never been able to write haikus, mostly because of the restrictions and the fact that I suck hardcore at counting syllables. I don't even think I can spell syllables... O.o;;

I will agree that this isn't just one haiku, it's two together, but there's really nothing wrong with that. You can have a series of them. ^^

lol, nah it's quite easy once you write a few of them^^
I remember the first time I read a haiku, I had no idea what the poet was saying. that's probably the reason why I remember the haiku's format. it wasn't until last year that I tried to write it
oh, thanks^^

skyheaven


skyheaven

PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:00 am


Serieve
Besides all of what has been said already, the only thing I found was the first line of the second poem. "Through this camera". Now I don't know how most of you pronounce camera, but for me it only has two syllables because I cut out the "er". It's more like camra. ^^ It's my southern accent, I'm sure, living in Georgia, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure it isn't just me though. Other than that, they're cute, and they do have that American mix thing going on. 3nodding

oh, hm...New Yorkers usually skip some syllables too...but the formal way to say it (at least in my state NJ) is with 3 syllables...
thanks! clouds are cute heart
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:16 am


I'm wierd. No one else I know says camera cam-er-a. I've met another wierd person!

Merenwen99
Crew


skyheaven

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:54 am


lol that's not weird...besides it's better to say the word clearly by syllable than to have people asking u two or three times biggrin
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:33 pm


Nice, I myself can never seem to right anything close to a haiku. But you've managed to make a very nice simple close enough haiku. Good job

Althea_green


MalineMoonFeather

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:55 pm


Awww! I like it! It seems like two differnt Haikus in one, cuz I don't really see how it goes together. But that might just be me. It's a lot better than the ones I write! Great job! ^_^
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Work written between 2003 - 2006

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