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 Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 am
The hand strikes and gives a flower!
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:04 am
Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
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Adam Worth The Thief Vice Captain
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Adam Worth The Thief Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:06 am
Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:07 am
[screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
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Adam Worth The Thief Vice Captain
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Adam Worth The Thief Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:19 am
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert: Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam Beesly: No, that's Afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert: Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:28 am
Michael: I’d like everybody’s attention. Christmas is cancelled.
Stanley: You can’t cancel a holiday.
Michael: Give it up Stanley and you’ll lose New Year’s
Stanley: What’s that mean?
Michael: Jim, take New Year’s away from Stanley!
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Adam Worth The Thief Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:42 am
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We're fine.
Ryan: I don't think--I don't think you understand how jeopardy works
Michael: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:44 am
Michael Scott: Well, I swallowed all your ideas. I'm going to digest them and see what comes out the other end.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:45 am
Michael Scott: Am I going to tell them? No, I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:46 am
Michael Scott: So Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer. And uh, she's our receptionist. Sort of a 'Brangelina' thing.
Roy: Why?
Michael Scott: Brangelina is the Brad Pitt and Angelina...
Roy: I don't understand.
Michael Scott: Roy... Roy and Pam. It's a 'Ram'. It's a Ram thing!
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:48 am
Michael Scott: Stanley!
Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael Scott: Listen, listen, Stanley. You don't need to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael Scott: Just-- I want you to think about it. I am starting my own company--
Stanley: No.
Michael Scott: --you're not letting me finish and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:51 am
Michael Scott: I'm going in for a procedure today.
Oscar: Is everything ok?
Michael Scott: Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar: I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking?
Michael Scott: It is a colonoscopy.
Oscar: Ok.
Michael Scott: In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri. My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Oscar: Yeah. [walks out of the office]
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:52 am
Michael Scott: Everybody in here stat. No time to lose. CRIMAN Squa F and C double time.
Dwight Schrute: CRIMAN Squa?
Michael Scott: Crisis management squad.
Ryan: F and C, double time?
Michael Scott: Front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?
Jim Halpert: One more. Why are you talking like that?
Michael Scott: To save time, Jim.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:55 am
Michael Scott: I looked at Wallace and I said, "I quit." And as I turned to leave, I looked back and I said, "you have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: You didn't tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael Scott: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well wouldn't it feel good to tell him he's incompetant or...
Kevin: That he's wasted fifteen years of your life.
Meredith: Maybe spit in his face.
Michael Scott: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just.. winged it.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:56 am
Michael Scott: I am a victim of a hate crime. I think Stanley knows what I''m talking about.
Stanley: That's not what a hate crime is.
Michael Scott: Well I hated it! A lot!
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